Because You Said Forever

I choke on my words, just feeling so utterly weak in his grip. "Talk to me!" He yells, pushing he harder into the wall to enforce his words.

"Joe, please!" I whine as I try to escape his grip, but I can't even get him to loosen up.

"You don't even deserve my love when you act like this!" He says through gritted teeth, trying his best to keep the rest of his anger back. "You're pathetic!"

"I'm sorry!" I cave, desperate to wipe my tears, but Joe's pinning my wrists to the wall. "Please, just stop!" His grip loosens, but he doesn't let go. I can feel his eyes burning a hole right through me.

"You should be." His voice is a bit softer now, but I can hear he's nowhere near satisfied.

I shut my eyes. “I hate you,” I whisper.

This sets Joe off and I cry in pain as his nails dig into my skin like so many times before. Only this time, he doesn’t let go. "What now?" He questions, infuriated to say the least. "What did you say?" He yells, his nails still buried in my skin.

I breathe in sharply through my teeth, I’m not even crying anymore. “I hate you,” I repeat, sure he can’t hurt me more than he has already. I'm positive he is going to hit me when he raises one of his hands, still holding his other hand around one of my wrists. But instead he runs his hand through his hair and looks at me, a mixture of anger and hurt in his eyes.

"You know, Nick," He starts, taking in a deep breath before continuing. "I can't believe you'd hate the only person who truly loves you. The only one who's willing to spend the rest of his life with you? You're heartless and you'll die alone, you know that right?" He speaks in a low voice, before raising it and loudly shouting. "Don't you?"

“Look at yourself!” I try to say it confidently, but my voice shakes. I take a breath before I continue. “You’re always hurting me. You’ve never showed me real love.”

“How would you possibly know anything about real love?" He scoffs. "Last time I checked, I'm the ONLY one who's ever showed you the meaning of it and you clearly have no idea how to return it."

I close my eyes briefly before I get the courage to respond. "Love isn't hurting someone just because you're too scared of being alone for one night."

Joe swallows. He probably knows I'm right, but he never shows himself weaken. Ever. "Neither is stopping the person who loves you from leaving the house to do something he enjoys, or destroying something that person treasures."

“But if I hadn’t done that, you would have gone out and cheated on me again.” The fear is slipping out of me as Joe seems to be getting less angry, his nails finally unclenching from my wrist.

"Yeah, well, what can I say...?” He lets go of my wrist and pulls back, leaning against the cupboard behind him, his eyes steadily glued to mine. "That I'm sorry? Is that what you want to hear, Nicky?"

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. You won’t mean it.”

"You're right." He tilts his head slightly. "Because I have nothing to be sorry for."

“You’re not sorry.” I look into his eyes for any sign of regret or kindness, but I don’t find any.

"No, because I haven't done anything!" He says, almost defensively as he stares right back into my eyes. I guess it’s true what they say: people can't change. I close my eyes and shake my head, running past Joe to get to my room.

"Nick, come on." He whines as he follows me. "Nick!"

"Stay away from me," I growl, my eyes watering up again as I grab the doorknob.

"Nick," His hand firmly presses against the door, keeping it from opening when I reach for the doorknob and turn it. "Don't be like that."

I keep my hand on the knob. "What do you want from me?" I ask, feeling a warm tear on my cheek. If I sniff, he'll know I'm crying, so I wipe my nose with my free hand.

He reaches one of his hands down to my chin, tilting my head up so that I'm now facing him. "Oh, but I think you know. You questioned my love for you, and you should know I'd do anything for you. Because I would!"

He's no longer leaning on the door. I take the opportunity, shoving it open, speedily disappearing inside and closing it tightly. I hear him banging repeatedly on the door, but despite his harsh words and commands, I remain silent, waiting for him to calm down and leave it at this...