Drive My Soul

‘Just fuck off would ya’ Jayce snapped, pushing my arm away from his shoulders. I just sat there, shocked, looking at his aggressive facial expression. Then the tears came, so I turned my head away and stood up, before walking over to my car, which was parked across the street. Opening the door I took a quick look over my shoulder and when I saw that he had turned away I just got in and slammed the door behind me, letting the tears flow freely for a few seconds, before furiously wiping them away. He isn’t worth the tears, I repeated in my head for 30 seconds, before the passenger door opened and Mae climbed in.

‘You right to drive Jayden home still?’ She asked, concerned.

‘Yea, fine’ I smiled, sniffling a little.

‘Cause mom can drive him home if you want’ she offered.

‘Nah seriously, it’s fine’ I said a little forcefully as Jayden walked towards the car.

‘Look I’ll just walk’ he said when he got there ‘You don’t look like you’re up for the lift, but thanks for the offer’

‘It’s okay. Please let me take you?’ I begged, as yet another sob rattled through me.

‘You sure?’ he cautioned.

‘Yea, I just need to get away from him’ I said, wiping my teary eyes yet again, before pulling myself together somewhat as he climbed in the back seat. Then Jayce appeared at the window and started talking to Jayden.

‘Move’ was all I said towards the back window, but not looking at his face.

‘He wants’ Jayden started.

‘I don’t care what he wants’ I snapped, cutting him off. ‘Go get fucked’ I shot at Jayce, before hitting the accelerator, not caring if I ran over his feet or not, just wanting to get away from him.

A handful of directions and 15 minutes later I pulled up outside Mae’s house again, and jumped out of the car, only to be met by a group of people. Stuffing the keys in my pocket I hung my head before making my way over, intending to push past them and go inside.

‘Lily!’ someone yelled unexpectedly, causing me to look up out of curiosity.

It was Levi that had yelled out, and he was making his way towards me, which caused me to inwardly groan. Here goes, the whole ‘are you okay?’ thing is about to start, I thought, cursing myself for having gotten out of the car thinking I could actually avoid it.

‘You know he didn’t mean it right?’ he asked.

Not exactly what I expected, and I’m not sure if it’s better or worse.

‘Yea he did. Everyone knows he meant every single syllable that he said’ I snapped, looking at my feet again as my eyes brimmed with tears.

‘Okay that came out wrong. He regrets it though. And he’s been drinking’ Levi started, trying to defend his friend.

‘Yea, and so have you, which is why I’m not listening anymore’ I said, intending to walk off, before I decided to add something. ‘The amazing thing about alcohol is that when people are drunk they always speak the truth. He wants me to fuck off, and that’s what I’m gunna do’ I said, tears spilling over once again. I decided then that I would find Mae and wish her a happy birthday before leaving, because I knew this was about to turn on me, so I took a step to the left, before walking away.

‘Lily wait!’ someone yelled. Someone who’s voice I couldn’t put a face to and so I turned. I shouldn’t have, I know, but I did. And found myself looking at Alexis.

‘He’s crying’ was all she said.

‘So what? I was crying, and he didn’t do anything about it’ I said, turning back around and walking off.

‘He knows he was in the wrong, that’s why he came after you’ She said, following me, trying to get me to stop. ‘He’s sobbing for you, he won’t let anyone else touch him, or go near him’ she continued, sounding panicky ‘He says you’re the only person he trusts’

I stopped mid step. I also stopped breathing.