Drive My Soul

We stayed outside by the car for awhile, not really talking; he comforted with his hands rather than words, but it’s not what it would have looked like. Not once did he push his luck or try take advantage of the situation like many other people would have, and for that I was extremely grateful. My blissful paradise couldn’t last forever thought, because even though the situation seemed perfect, it wasn’t in the perfect location and I was at a school function.

‘Everything okay now?’ Levi asked walking around the corner of the car, making me jump in what I was sure looked to be a guilty way, not that I had done, or was doing for that matter, anything wrong. Jayce didn’t move or reposition himself in anyway, and I saw that Levi was taking note of the position of Jayce’s hands, which were just below my boob’s, making me self conscious, but rather than moving away I just brought my knees up, blocking them from view.

‘Yea a bit better ay’ I said as the school Chaplin walked around the corner, with the teacher chaperon, Miss Fisher and Halley and Dani, causing me to blush at what they had almost seen. Following close behind was Keaton, who came and sat on my other side, and upon realising he couldn’t rest his arm around my back like he intended settled for throwing it over my shoulders and grinning at me in a cheeky way.

I smiled back at him before attempting to apologise.

‘I’m sorry. We should have left ages ago, and I’ve gotta give your friends a lift too’ I said, beginning to attempt to stand, but Jayce wouldn’t let me. I opened my mouth to complain, even though I didn’t want to leave, but I was quickly interrupted.

‘It’s okay, I sent them home ages ago, told them to walk, and I was having fun with Levi anyway’ he said, grinning at Levi.

‘Ugh I can just imagine’ I said, settling back into Jayce’s arms.

‘Hey I wasn’t teaching him anything bad’ Levi defended, receiving a chorus of laughter in response. ‘Or mostly nothing bad’ He amended sheepishly.

After the laughter had died down Chappy soon spoke up.

‘You do realise Marcus isn’t really that bad right? And that it’s only for one night?’

‘No one would think you were dating or anything’ Miss Fisher added.

I was just about to agree in defeat when Jayce spoke up in my defence.

‘It doesn’t matter whether he’s bad or not. It doesn’t matter what people think. The point is that she doesn’t want to go with him’ he snapped, obviously annoyed that all his efforts of calming me had almost gone down the drain.

‘Yea well she’s going to have to settle for second best eventually isn’t she, cause it’s not like Gabe is going to suggest she ask him is he? And you’re not going to go with her’ Halley added as though I wasn’t there, bringing tears to my eyes once again. ‘No amount of wishful thinking will ever change that’ she finished.

‘Yea well, I don’t think she should give up. You never know what might happen with the right amount of wishful thinking’ Jayce spat back.

‘But sometimes wishing isn’t enough’ I whispered, glancing at his face before looking to my knees again. Then I felt his arms pull away and my heart plummeted. I had pissed him off. Obviously he had concluded I was a waste of…

My thoughts were cut short by a sharp nudge to my foot and a simple ‘come on’. I looked up into Jayce’s bright blue eyes which were pleading with me. I proceeded to lower my gaze slightly, just enough to notice his hand stretched out towards me, before I raised my gaze questioningly. He gave me another pointed look, more begging me to take his outstretched hand this time, so I slowly raised mine and placed it in his, wondering what he wanted.

He gave a sharp tug and pulled me half off the ground before my body realised his intentions and helped him by not resisting and putting effort into standing. Once I was in an upright position he tugged me away from the small group and out of the parking lot onto the grass. When he decided we were out of ear shot he spun and faced me, with a slightly furious expression on his face, distorting his features. His normally relaxed face was pinched into a disapproving look, and his cheeks were redder than the usual rosy color. I had just started to panic when he did the unexpected and pulled me into a hug, squeezing the oxygen out of my lungs with a whoosh.

‘I’m so, so, so sorry I made you think that there’s no point to wishing and hoping no more’ he rushed, squeezing me tightly, before he held me away from him and glanced at my face, reading my expression.

‘Huh?’ was all I got out before he continued.

‘I know I said that I didn’t want to risk our friendship by giving a relationship a go, and I know it’s selfish of me Lily, but you mean so much to me and I honestly don’t know what I’d do if our friendship ever ended up like mine and Mae’s’ he rambled, looking over my head now, at something in the distance.

‘Jayce that’s not…’ I attempted, only to be cut off again.

‘I know that I’ve already said all that to you, and you took it so well considering how selfish I was being, wanting the best of both worlds, but I am realising that you’re not Mae, and if we did try and things ended up badly like they did for me and her, you wouldn’t handle it the same way’ He started rushing then, obviously trying to get everything out before I interrupted him. I realised I had my mouth open to object and so I closed it hoping to get him to calm down a little bit, but it only slightly worked.

‘But the thing is I honestly don’t think it would be fair to you if I agreed to go out with you right now, when I’m still not completely over Mae yet. You deserve better than that, and I’m not going to allow you anything but the best I can possibly give’ he said hurriedly, until he had it all out, then he took a deep breath and looked down to my face, to obviously judge my reaction. I thought about smiling, but then decided that it didn’t feel right, because I wasn’t in the mood, and I didn’t really have a reason other than attempting ot comfort him, so instead I held his gaze for a few seconds before moving closer to him and hugging him.

‘As long as this doesn’t change, I don’t mind’ I said. ‘I can deal with any other alternative as long as things don’t change because of the way I feel. I don’t want that to ruin anything. It’d tear me apart’ I confessed.

‘I promise I’ll always want you, you know that right?’ he asked, hugging me.

‘Jayce that’s not what I meant. What I meant is that I don’t want you to feel like you have to do something because you know how I feel about you. I’m happy with the way things are, and I’d rather they stay this way then allow them to change because you felt you owed it to me’ I whispered.

‘I do owe you. For being so understanding and patient’ he started, stopping me when I tried to interrupt. ‘But I promise you I won’t do this for the wrong reasons. That’s the best I can repay you at the moment’ he said apologetically.

‘You don’t owe me, but thanks’ I mumbled, embarrassed now.

‘Yea I do. Massively’ he said, hugging me tightly when I tried to argue. Suddenly we were enveloped in a bright light.

‘Huh?’ I huffed as it disappeared just as quickly.

‘Wow that was bright! Sorry guys!’ Levi yelled from the drivers seat of my parents car.

‘Levi’ I yelled, cursing him silently as I pulled away from Jayce, who groaned when he realised my intention, making me grin in a slightly cocky way, glad he wanted the hugging to end about as much as I did. ‘Do you have to be a pain in the ass all the time?’

‘Well yea’ he admitted, receiving a chorus of laughter from Keaton. When I got back to the car, being followed more closely than normal by Jayce, I realised that everyone else had left, and it was just he four of us remaining.

‘I wanna go home, and you’re hogging my lift’ he complained.

‘I suppose I better get you home too’ I said to Keaton quietly.

‘Yea’ he agreed.

‘I’ll see you guys tomorrow night?’ I asked Jayce and Levi.

‘Yea of course’ Jayce said, hugging me.

‘Why don’t you just kiss her already’ Levi commented, receiving a sharp slap up the side of the head from Jayce as he pulled away from the hug with a whispered sorry in my ear.

‘Okay see you guys’ I said, climbing into the car before driving off, but not before I noticed Jayce lecturing Levi, causing me to smile a little.

*End Flashback*

I thought things were finally heading in a good direction, especially after what happened the next night at the footy presentation.