Emilee

“Emilee, please...” Max whispered for what must have been at least the hundredth time today. “Open the door sweetie.” My headache was back. No, it wasn’t from Max’s sweet candy voice sounding from the other side of the door I was leaning up against. How could it be? I think it was because I was so...shocked. Max had read Jane...or at least, part of her. He now knew so much. I felt so vulnerable. Sure, I trusted Max...well...I guess that’s now debatable. But no one had to know these things.

“Go away,” I whispered back, for what was just under the hundredth time today. I’m pretty sure he’d been talking whilst I was thinking...

“I’m so sorry. I’m just worried about you.” I could definitely hear the concern in his voice. It was sweet, but not enough to make me forgive him. I wondered why he didn’t walk around and use the window. I guess he wasn’t thinking straight. “You don’t have to tell me anything. I think I understand what happened...” He paused for a while. “Emilee, not all guys are out to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. I would never do what he did to you sweetie. I’d never just leave you one day. I don’t know why Nate did that, but gees...I could never...I love you too damn much to be away from you for a day, never mind leave you forever.” He nailed it. He understood what happened, through all the entries and poems written mostly in my sad and angry state many years ago. No one was supposed to know.

“I didn’t want people knowing...” I got up and unlocked the door. Going 3 hours without seeing Max’s gorgeous face was becoming very hard for me lately. As soon as I’d unlocked it a worried Max came rushing into the room and hugged me. Tight. I couldn’t breathe too well. He let me go as I began to cough.

“Why not?” He took my hands. “Why does it matter if I know?”

“It’s so...personal. That’s the one thing I’d never tell anyone. No one would know how much it hurt me, and still does to this day. It was my own fault for trusting him so easily. And well...it was obvious he wasn’t to be trusted...” Strangely, it felt good to finally tell someone. I think I can do this...

“How was it obvious?” he asked.

“Uhh...You have to promise you won’t tell anyone.” I looked up from the floor, straight into Max’s pale eyes.

“I promise.”

“Nate...He was a 35 year old man...I was so stupid I know, but I fell in love with him. He always told me exactly what I wanted to hear, even if I knew it was a lie. He made me happy. He’s what I thought to be perfect at the time. Then I met you of course...” Max’s face was completely blank. Not calm, just blank. His eyes got darker with each passing second.

“So...You were how old, 15?” I nodded, ashamed. I knew it was wrong. I knew that then, too. “And this 35 year old man was your boyfriend?” Again, I nodded, looking down at my feet. “So...this fucker used you, then left you? Emilee, how can you expect me to not tell anyone about this! He’s a goddamn paedophile for fucks sake!” The tears came back. “Why did you not tell anyone!? Surely, you knew that what you were doing was wrong, didn’t you!?”

“I didn’t tell anyone because I knew they’d react like you are now!” I yelled back at him. “Yes, I knew it was wrong Max. I wasn’t that stupid! But I thought I loved him! He had me so convinced...then he just left...”

“I have to go.” Max dropped my hands and headed for the window.

“So I tell you how much it hurt that he left, and you decide you’ll do the same...” I whispered. “Thanks Max...” He turned back around and I realised why. His eyes were almost black. I forgot how sharp his teeth looked.

“I’ll be back tonight, I promise.” He left me standing alone. I sat on the end of my bed and stared across at the wall, trying to grasp my thoughts that were going everywhere all at once. I would never have imagined, but I felt relieved now that someone else knew. I picked up my diary from the floor and closed it. I could trust Max. He was just caring for me, not snooping. It was different. He cared so much. I loved him so much.