My life as a loser in High School.

I decided there was no point in not attending school the next day. The longer I put off facing everybody, the worse it would be. I had to be brave and really, really hope no one decided to hit me.

What didn’t make it any better was that I had a tutoring session with Dylan after school. With Kate thinking I was hitting on her boyfriend and all, us spending time together alone really wouldn’t help the situation one little bit.

As soon as I stepped into the building I could feel every ones eyes on me. Okay not every ones but there was a hefty majority. I sighed as started to make my way to my first class, which would be English which meant I had to sit next to Dylan for a full hour. Great. Hopefully there would be another supply teacher and I could maybe swap seats with someone else.

I squeaked with surprise as someone suddenly shoved into me. The books I was holding tumbled out of my arms onto the floor, scattering all the sheets inside across the hallway. “Great,” I mumbled, watching the girl who had walked into me cackle with her friend.

“Well, that wasn’t nice was it?” I looked up into the grinning face of Brett Oshea. A frown found its way to my face and I bent down to pick my stuff up.

“If you’re just here to gloat, you can go away. I’m really not in the mood for it.”

“Whoa, hey! I’m not here to gloat.” I watched suspiciously as he leant down to help me. “I heard what happened yesterday.”

“I think everyone has,” I muttered.

“Yeah, Kate seems to love telling people that you tried to come onto Dylan.” I sighed heavily and straightened up. Brett did the same and we started walking towards our first class.

“I never, I mean, it did look like I was.” Why was I so bad at explaining things? “But I wasn’t.” I added hastily.

“I know.” He said. I looked at him.

“How do you know?” I questioned. He smiled widely.

“I sit behind you in English remember? I saw him put his hand on your leg.” My mouth fell open in surprise. So many questions buzzed through my head at that moment like, “Do you think Dylan likes me” and “Is Dylan just messing with my head.”

“What has Dylan said about it?” With me leaving school early yesterday, I didn’t have the fun of listening to what other lies he probably has been spreading about me.

“He’s not saying anything.” Brett admitted, which once again surprised me. “Every time someone asks him about it, he just shrugs them off.”

“Oh,” Maybe he felt guilty about embarrassing me? No, that’s impossible. “Brett, why are you being so nice to me. I mean, you’re Dylan’s friend-“

“It doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend too.” He interrupted. He suddenly licked his lips nervously. “Louisa told me about what happened. About why you really left your old school and came here.”

“Oh,” It seemed I was saying that a lot lately. Me and his girlfriend Louisa weren’t that close in St Mark’s but we got on. I think I even slept over at her house once. And anyway, nearly everyone found out what happened.

“She says it’s hard for you to make friends-“

“That’s not true!” I butted in. However, it was true. If Jay hadn’t shouted after me that day and asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with him, I would probably still have no friends. I wasn’t good at talking to strangers.

“Anyway, she just asked me to make sure you’re okay.” I didn’t talk for a moment.

“You haven’t told anyone else have you?”

“It’s not my place to tell.” He replied softly. I nodded my head. It wasn’t like I had a huge secret; it was just that I didn’t want another excuse for people to talk about me. I didn’t want their sympathy either. It quickly ran through my head that Brett was only being nice to me because Louisa had asked him too, however one look into his eyes told me he was actually concerned about me.

I felt my shoulders relax a little; at least I had a body guard now. Before all I had was Jay and he wouldn’t be able to punch his way out of a paper bag. Not that I would ever tell him that. Just because Jay was gay didn’t mean he wanted to hear that he hit even worse than me.

I felt my breath hitch in my throat as the familiar English room appeared. I slowed the pace I was walking at until I had nearly stopped. Brett paused beside me and smiled reassuringly. He nudged the door open until the classroom was in full view.

I felt my cheeks burn as everyone’s eyes settled on me. Our usual teacher was back and she was fiddling around with her laptop, not seeming to notice that two of her students had walked in five minutes late. I took a shaky step inside with Brett close behind me.

I felt his hand gently push me forward until he slung an arm around my shoulder. What the Hell was he doing! Suddenly every ones expressions switched from dislike to plain disgust. I didn’t blame them. First it looked like I was trying to sink my claws into Dylan who was way too attractive for his own good and now it looked like I was getting all cosy with Brett who wasn’t as good looking as Dylan but still came into the school’s top ten.

He squeezed me slightly before letting go to sit in his own seat behind my desk. I took an uncertain glance at Dylan but he was staring defiantly straight ahead. He didn’t even turn to glare at me as I slipped into the seat beside him.

I had a sudden urge to cry. Brett has stirred up some old memories and the fact everything was not going my way at all was overwhelming me. I felt my throat become tight and a tear fell out of my eye and slid silently down my cheek. I ducked my head so my hair covered my eyes and I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand.

I felt Dylan’s eyes flicker to me but still he said nothing.

**

At dinner I had a giant weep fest with Jay. He comforted me by stroking my hair that special way that won’t leave it flat and wiping away my tears without smudging my make-up. He put on his best stereotypical “gay” voice and started calling me “girlfriend” in a lame attempt to make me laugh. He didn’t even get jealous when I told him Brett Oshea put his arm around me.

At the end of the day, I headed towards the hall for my tutoring session with Dylan. Dread bubbled in my stomach and I suppressed the urge to puke. He was sat at a desk on his own looking as beautiful as ever even though he was glaring at me.

I swallowed deeply and forced myself towards him. “Don’t even think about it, Brie.” He spat as I approached him. I paused confused.

“Think about what?” I repeated dumbly.

“Brett has a girlfriend.”

“I know.” It took a moment to sink in what he was getting at. “I don’t like Brett.”

“Could have fooled me.” He mumbled.

“Are you jealous?”

This question seemed to have caught him off guard. “What!? No! Why the Hell would I be jealous?”

“You tell me.” I scanned his lovely face which held no expression at that moment. His green eyes sparkled like light glinting off water. His skin was so creamy that I wanted to taste it even though there were personal hygiene issues to consider. His cute nose twitched as he thought and he chewed his lip.

“It’s impossible.” He said. I nodded and sat down next to him. I felt defeated inside and for some reason I wanted to hug Dylan, just so I knew that his whole asshole act was just that- an act. I wanted to feel his arms around my thin body and those pink lips of his plant tiny kisses on my hair.

But it was never gonna happen so I may as well stop dreaming.