My life as a loser in High School.
026
The weather was still absolutely freezing when school began two weeks later. My fingers had swollen up from the cold to almost twice their size. I didn’t know whether to be amazed or be disgusted. “What are you doing?” Dylan’s voice broke through my concentration. I was currently trying to bend my fingers to see if they would burst. I clenched my hand into a fist and hid it underneath the table. I looked up to see Dylan staring at me with his eyebrows raised. He rolled his green eyes before sitting down next to me. “I’d almost forgotten how weird you were.” He informed me.
I decided not to insult him back. One of my new year’s resolutions was to be a more mature, delightful young lady. And mature delightful young ladies do not insult beautiful boys who have a habit of annoying the hell out of you. He looked me straight in the eye and I felt my stomach turn to jelly. For some strange reason, I had missed Dylan. I had missed him a lot, in fact. I guess absence did make the heart grow fonder.
“So, erm how was your Christmas?” Dylan asked, obviously trying to strike up a conversation to get rid of the awkward silence. I shrugged half heartedly. What was I suppose to say? My Christmas sucked because my mother had brought her new boyfriend round and he was nice but he wasn’t my dad.
“It was okay.” I answered vaguely. Dylan scanned my face not believing me.
“I saw my dad.” He said suddenly. I looked at him. “It was the first time in five months.” He added.
“Oh.” I said. “How’d it go” It was his turn to shrug now. He turned so he was facing the front of the room. He squished his face up as if remembering something particularly unpleasant.
“He was acting like he hadn’t just abandoned me and my mum. Like everything was all okay again. He can’t just do that; he can’t just run away and hope everything fixes itself.” He sighed and rubbed his fore head with his fingers. I remained silent. “I haven’t spoken about this with anyone. My mum just gets upset. I feel like I can talk to you, you know, because... “
“My dad’s dead, Dylan.” I said bluntly. He looked at me through his eyelashes. “I will never see him or talk to him again. Your dad is still alive and yeah, maybe he’s screwed up but you shouldn’t hold it against him forever. I would do anything to see my dad again, and yours is there trying to make it up to you.”
“He ruined our lives.” He snapped defensively. “He left my mum for another woman.” I shook my head.
“And now he’s trying to fix it. I’m not trying to get all “what if he died tomorrow without you ever telling him how much you loved him” but no matter how mad you are at him, he still deserves a second chance.”
We were quiet for a few seconds. I could hear him breathing heavily beside me trying to process al that I had told him. He had sort of opened up to me and although I wasn’t sure this was a good idea, I decided to do the same. “My mum brought her new boyfriend round for Christmas.” I told him.
He glanced at me. “And?”
“He’s okay I guess.”
“You don’t like him.”
“It’s not that... It’s just my mum belonged with my dad. She still does. I’m sort of mad at her because of it. I mean, it hasn’t even been that long since...” I trailed off as I realised he was grinning at me but not in a nice way. “What?”
“You complete hypocrite.” He exclaimed. Some people turned their heads to see what the fuss was about. “You just gave me a lecture because I’m mad at my dad for being with someone else and here you are, doing exactly the same thing.”
I felt my face burn as I realised he was right. “It’s different.” I mumbled. He laughed loudly.
“No it isn’t and you know it.” I sat back in my chair and decided not to say anything. What else could I say to defend myself? Dylan mimicked my movements with a triumphant expression on his face as he knew he had proven me wrong. All the worries about his dad had been forgotten. I thought for a moment about what he had told me. He said there was no one else he could talk to but surely he must know someone else with divorced parents? It’s not that rare. And what about his beloved girlfriend Katie?
***
“Oh my God, Brie, guess what?” Jay shrieked as soon as I spotted him at lunch.
“What?” I was still feeling a little sore from earlier. Dylan hadn’t said anything else to me but decided to annoy me by flicking pencil shavings onto my side of the desk. Being the mature delightful young lady I am I rose above it.
Jay quickly glanced around before pulling me in close. “Katie and Dylan broke up over the Christmas holidays.” He hissed. My eyes widened with the shock; Dylan hadn’t mentioned anything to me, but then again why would he? “They’re back together again now though.”
“Oh.” The brief moment of selfish happiness I felt fluttered away. “Who told you?”
“Well, Katie told Lilly who told Danielle who told...”
“Yeah, I get it.” I interrupted. “And it just ended at you, the gossip whore.”
He gasped. “I am not a gossip whore. Besides, I saw your eyes light up when I told you the news.” I rolled my eyes.
“So what happened?” I asked trying not to sound eager. What sort of girl was I turning into? I was finding joy from other people’s failing relationships.
“Why’d you wanna know?” Jay smirked, teasing me. I glared at him.
“Jay...” I warned.
“Fine.” He sighed as if telling me would take up some of his valuable time when I knew he was desperate to get it off his chest. “Apparently Dylan was in a mood because of something to do with his dad, although Kate’s exact quote was “he was in a mood like always.” Anyway, she kept on whining about this date he was suppose to take her on and he just snapped and started shouting at her. “I tried to hide my smile. “They started arguing about something Kate wouldn’t say. Then she said it was over between them and he said he was glad.” The smile turned into a full on grin.
“Three days later she called him and apologised. They got back together.” Jay finished.
“What just like that?” I questioned. I felt my heart sink a little. Dylan must really like her to get back with her straight away. I had a feeling his mood was about his dad but if she was his girlfriend surely she would understand?
“Well, that’s all she would say.” He shrugged. “If you ask me, they don’t go together at all.”
“They don’t?” I asked feeling gleeful. He shook his head.
“No, even though they sort of dress the same, their personalities won’t go. I could see Dylan with someone more fun and quirky. Do you know who I’d think he’d make a great couple with, excluding myself of course?”
“Who?”
“You, silly!” He squeaked. I felt myself blush and tried to hide my burning face under my blonde hair. “That will be my task. I’ve got to try and get you and Dylan together.”
“I don’t even like him!” I protested although a protest isn’t that effective if you are grinning like a loon.
“I’m not an idiot Brie.” He laughed. “I’ve seen you two together. You’re either gonna end up fighting each other or fucking each other.”
“Jay!” I shrieked. “Don’t use that language in front of me. I’m a young lady now.”
“Yeah...”
I decided not to insult him back. One of my new year’s resolutions was to be a more mature, delightful young lady. And mature delightful young ladies do not insult beautiful boys who have a habit of annoying the hell out of you. He looked me straight in the eye and I felt my stomach turn to jelly. For some strange reason, I had missed Dylan. I had missed him a lot, in fact. I guess absence did make the heart grow fonder.
“So, erm how was your Christmas?” Dylan asked, obviously trying to strike up a conversation to get rid of the awkward silence. I shrugged half heartedly. What was I suppose to say? My Christmas sucked because my mother had brought her new boyfriend round and he was nice but he wasn’t my dad.
“It was okay.” I answered vaguely. Dylan scanned my face not believing me.
“I saw my dad.” He said suddenly. I looked at him. “It was the first time in five months.” He added.
“Oh.” I said. “How’d it go” It was his turn to shrug now. He turned so he was facing the front of the room. He squished his face up as if remembering something particularly unpleasant.
“He was acting like he hadn’t just abandoned me and my mum. Like everything was all okay again. He can’t just do that; he can’t just run away and hope everything fixes itself.” He sighed and rubbed his fore head with his fingers. I remained silent. “I haven’t spoken about this with anyone. My mum just gets upset. I feel like I can talk to you, you know, because... “
“My dad’s dead, Dylan.” I said bluntly. He looked at me through his eyelashes. “I will never see him or talk to him again. Your dad is still alive and yeah, maybe he’s screwed up but you shouldn’t hold it against him forever. I would do anything to see my dad again, and yours is there trying to make it up to you.”
“He ruined our lives.” He snapped defensively. “He left my mum for another woman.” I shook my head.
“And now he’s trying to fix it. I’m not trying to get all “what if he died tomorrow without you ever telling him how much you loved him” but no matter how mad you are at him, he still deserves a second chance.”
We were quiet for a few seconds. I could hear him breathing heavily beside me trying to process al that I had told him. He had sort of opened up to me and although I wasn’t sure this was a good idea, I decided to do the same. “My mum brought her new boyfriend round for Christmas.” I told him.
He glanced at me. “And?”
“He’s okay I guess.”
“You don’t like him.”
“It’s not that... It’s just my mum belonged with my dad. She still does. I’m sort of mad at her because of it. I mean, it hasn’t even been that long since...” I trailed off as I realised he was grinning at me but not in a nice way. “What?”
“You complete hypocrite.” He exclaimed. Some people turned their heads to see what the fuss was about. “You just gave me a lecture because I’m mad at my dad for being with someone else and here you are, doing exactly the same thing.”
I felt my face burn as I realised he was right. “It’s different.” I mumbled. He laughed loudly.
“No it isn’t and you know it.” I sat back in my chair and decided not to say anything. What else could I say to defend myself? Dylan mimicked my movements with a triumphant expression on his face as he knew he had proven me wrong. All the worries about his dad had been forgotten. I thought for a moment about what he had told me. He said there was no one else he could talk to but surely he must know someone else with divorced parents? It’s not that rare. And what about his beloved girlfriend Katie?
***
“Oh my God, Brie, guess what?” Jay shrieked as soon as I spotted him at lunch.
“What?” I was still feeling a little sore from earlier. Dylan hadn’t said anything else to me but decided to annoy me by flicking pencil shavings onto my side of the desk. Being the mature delightful young lady I am I rose above it.
Jay quickly glanced around before pulling me in close. “Katie and Dylan broke up over the Christmas holidays.” He hissed. My eyes widened with the shock; Dylan hadn’t mentioned anything to me, but then again why would he? “They’re back together again now though.”
“Oh.” The brief moment of selfish happiness I felt fluttered away. “Who told you?”
“Well, Katie told Lilly who told Danielle who told...”
“Yeah, I get it.” I interrupted. “And it just ended at you, the gossip whore.”
He gasped. “I am not a gossip whore. Besides, I saw your eyes light up when I told you the news.” I rolled my eyes.
“So what happened?” I asked trying not to sound eager. What sort of girl was I turning into? I was finding joy from other people’s failing relationships.
“Why’d you wanna know?” Jay smirked, teasing me. I glared at him.
“Jay...” I warned.
“Fine.” He sighed as if telling me would take up some of his valuable time when I knew he was desperate to get it off his chest. “Apparently Dylan was in a mood because of something to do with his dad, although Kate’s exact quote was “he was in a mood like always.” Anyway, she kept on whining about this date he was suppose to take her on and he just snapped and started shouting at her. “I tried to hide my smile. “They started arguing about something Kate wouldn’t say. Then she said it was over between them and he said he was glad.” The smile turned into a full on grin.
“Three days later she called him and apologised. They got back together.” Jay finished.
“What just like that?” I questioned. I felt my heart sink a little. Dylan must really like her to get back with her straight away. I had a feeling his mood was about his dad but if she was his girlfriend surely she would understand?
“Well, that’s all she would say.” He shrugged. “If you ask me, they don’t go together at all.”
“They don’t?” I asked feeling gleeful. He shook his head.
“No, even though they sort of dress the same, their personalities won’t go. I could see Dylan with someone more fun and quirky. Do you know who I’d think he’d make a great couple with, excluding myself of course?”
“Who?”
“You, silly!” He squeaked. I felt myself blush and tried to hide my burning face under my blonde hair. “That will be my task. I’ve got to try and get you and Dylan together.”
“I don’t even like him!” I protested although a protest isn’t that effective if you are grinning like a loon.
“I’m not an idiot Brie.” He laughed. “I’ve seen you two together. You’re either gonna end up fighting each other or fucking each other.”
“Jay!” I shrieked. “Don’t use that language in front of me. I’m a young lady now.”
“Yeah...”