My life as a loser in High School.

Okay, I was officially mad at Dylan. I meant it this time I was never speaking to him again. I knew it wasn’t technically his fault that Kate came up and kissed him, but he could have pushed her away, or I don’t know, removed that awful smirk from his face. I felt like blurting out to the entire class that we had totally made out, so yeah, he wasn’t as great as everyone thought he was.

I hated him, but still I wanted him so much. The fact, he would never be mine sent a dull throbbing somewhere in my stomach and I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. I wanted to grow my nails long enough so I could tear open my skin and remove the things I needed to live; because even that wouldn’t hurt as much as the way Dylan’s making me feel.

I wanted to do something completely crazy like shave my hair off or get a tattoo across my head so I would repulse him and he would never touch me again. I wanted to start acting sad and depressed so he would feel sorry for me, then feel bad at himself for what he has put me through, although knowing him, it probably wouldn’t affect him one bit.

However, most of all I want to lock him in a room, and attach him to a lie detectors test so I could finally figure out what goes through his head when he does stuff to me.

My ignoring him, thing seemed to be going pretty well. Whenever he smiled at me in the hallway, I just stared blankly ahead. When he said hi, I glared at him and refused to answer. When he passed me notes, I flung them in the bin even though I was curious as to what they said.

We had another tutoring session on Friday. I didn’t want to go but there was nothing I could do about it. It was arranged at my house again, but if I refused to let Dylan in, he would report it and we would be back studying at school under the watchful eye of a teacher.

As soon as the last bell went, I stormed out of the school. It was raining lightly outside and I knew for a fact Dylan didn’t have an umbrella. With an angry smirk, I set off towards my house, my hair protected by my trusted companion. Just because Dylan was supposed to be coming to my house didn’t mean I had to walk with him.

I was home for at least half an hour before I head a frustrated knock on the door. Giggling slightly to myself, I let in a soaking wet Dylan. “Where the hell was you?” he growled, shrugging his hoody off and letting it fall to the floor. “I was waiting ages for you to come out. Did you forget we had tutoring?”

“Nope.” I answered, leaving him in the hallway as I walked into the kitchen. I heard Dylan groan behind me.

“Are you pissed at me or something? You’ve been acting like this all week.”

“No Dylan, why ever would I be pissed at you?” I rolled my eyes. He followed me into the Kitchen and leant against the wall, his eyes narrowing.

“You’re so moody all the time.” He whined. I guess he must have caught my sarcastic tone.
“Don’t start.” I warned, scooping a load of dirty pots into the sink.

“Why? I know the reason you’re acting like this. It’s because my girlfriend gave me a kiss.” I felt my cheeks flush because he had got the right answer but I didn’t turn to face him. I squirted some washing up liquid into the warm water I was running into the sink. Even though I couldn’t see him I knew he was smirking. “I’m right, aren’t I?” he sang gleefully. His voice cut through me like a knife. “You got jealous.”

I flipped around suddenly outraged. “Well, what did you expect Dylan?!” I shouted, storming over to him. I must have shocked him because he stopped leaning casually across the wall, and struggled to keep balanced whilst trying to remain cool. I shoved him with my wet hands and any other time I would have found it amusing that I had left a hand print on his chest. He clutched the spot where I had hit him as if I had hurt him. Nah, I wasn’t that lucky. I rolled my eyes at his own accusing ones.

“I barely touched you.” I spat, moving closer so I could glare at him properly. He looked down at me, his eyes wide. My breathing had become deeper as I tried to prevent myself from hitting him again. Emotion was controlling my movements and my mind.

It suddenly dawned on me how close I was actually stood to him. When ether I breathed out, my chest brushed against his. I glanced up at him again and realised the emotion in his eyes had changed; this time it was lust. His eyes were dark with it and they seemed to swallow me up, tempting me as if they were some precious emerald stone. All I had to do was stand on my tip toes and my lips would meet his.

I took an uneasy step backwards but he followed. I didn’t know whether he was teasing me again or being serious. I knew he wanted me too, I could see it in his expression, but Dylan was a great actor. He reached out to touch my cheekbone.

“Stop it.” I hissed, pulling away from him. I turned my back and walked back over to the sink, feeling my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Why don’t you stop it Brie?” He replied.

“Huh?” I had no clue what he was going on about this time. I dunk my hands back into the warm soapy water.

“Stop denying it to yourself.”

“Denying what?”

“How much you want me.” He sang.

“Oh my God.” I jumped as I felt him put his hands on my hips. He pressed his chest against my back and I shivered as his warm breath tickled my neck. “Go away, Dylan.” I muttered.

“You don’t mean that.” No, I didn’t. My stomach was doing all sorts of flips and turns that usually meant I was enjoying something. I pretended he wasn’t bothering me when in actual fact he was the only thing I was paying attention to. “I know how much you want me Brie.” He breathed. I tried to laugh it off, after all, he did sound pretty stupid. His voice was all deep and whispery; he sounded more like he had a sore throat then seductive.

“Then please tell me Dylan.” I croaked, trying to make my voice less shaky. He leant closer to me and pressed his lips against the pulse in my neck. I took a quick intake of breath, not expecting this sudden contact. My hands gripped tighter to the knife I was currently washing. I felt my body respond to him by leaning backwards. I wanted to feel his warmth seep through my clothes. A little sigh of pleasure escaped my lips and I felt him pull away from me, laugher spilling out of his mouth.

“I knew it!” He cried, triumphantly. “You have a crush on me.” I felt my cheeks flush with both anger and embarrassment. I didn’t bother trying to deny because I knew I would just burst into tears. I can’t believe I fell for it. I was on the verge of hysteria; I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry anymore. My emotions were too strong to tell them apart. Dylan stroked my hips one last time still chuckling to himself.

And it was at that moment I felt it; something snapped inside of me and I could have either stabbed him to death or fallen in love. I figured the latter would be less messy- although it was close.