My life as a loser in High School.

I could feel my eyes drooping from lack of sleep. We had been on the coach half an hour and the steady hum from the engines was sending me off. Everyone else was quiet apart from the occasional muttering to people. It seemed that people were as tired as I felt.

Jay had his eyes closed next to me. His head was facing me with his lips formed into a perfect pout. I dreaded to think about what he was dreaming of. More and more people seemed to be dropping off into the land of slumber. It would make sense that I could just go to sleep too, however, there were more people on this coach who hated me than liked me and I didn’t think much of my chances of a picture of me mouth open and drooling to not be on Facebook by the end of the week.

I sighed and mentally gave up, before I closed my eyes and rested my head in that really snugly spot between Jays chin and shoulder. Two hours seemed to last two minutes as I became aware of excited whispers.

“Where are we?” I groaned, stretching out because my muscles didn’t want to co-operate with me.

“We’re at Dover.” Jay answered, nodding out the window. Dover didn’t seem that impressive but all I could see were big transit Lorries and other school coaches similar to ours. “We’re just about to get onto the ferry.” He explained.

“Oh.” I pulled my phone out of my bag and realised I already had seven messages from my mother enquiring where I was. I sent her a quick text back informing her that we were just about to get on the boat and that there would be no signal, so no, I couldn’t ring her back. “I’m starving.”

“Me too.” He agreed. “I hope they have decent food and not that sandwich bar crap. I need a good fry up...” I checked the time on my phone and discovered it wasn’t even seven o’clock yet. I really shouldn’t have been craving a McDonalds this early in the morning but my body clock was all messed up.

“Okay children,” Mr Harris said into a little microphone. “We’re about to get off the coach in the next ten minutes. There are lots of other little teenagers running around and I don’t want you to get confused and get back on the wrong coach. This is the station we need to be at.” He gestured towards a big sign. “Station two. Now, do not forget it. Write it on your hand. Even take a picture of it, if it will help you remember. We do not want a repeat of what happened last year. The ferry ride is at least ninety minutes long. I expect you all back here at quarter past eight. If you are not, I will hunt you down.” He shot ferocious glances at each of us. I don’t think he has ever sounded as threatening as he did right then.

He looked at a female teacher who I recognised from the drama block. “Shall we let them loose?” He asked her. She muttered something back and they both shared a hearty laugh. I never get old people inside jokes. “Quarter past eight.” He repeated again before gesturing to us that we could leave.

I ran a hand through my scraggy hair which had fallen out of the bun I pulled it into earlier. “Shall we?” Jay grinned handing me my bag. I stood up but couldn’t resist taking a glance over my shoulder. How come everyone else still manages to look perfect after sleeping apart from me? Kate’s hair was still silky straight which often took me hours to achieve with my hair straighteners. She was wrapped around Dylan like he was going out of fashion, her head buried into his armpit. He looked vaguely annoyed but it must have been a trick of the light because his expression was neutral when he caught my eye. He shot me that famous lop sided grin that I loved to hate before Jay shoved into me, complaining that his butt was numb and he was going to pee himself if I didn’t get a move on.

“You were making gooey eyes again.” He hissed as we got off the coach. I wasn’t even going to dignify his accusation with a response. The smell of salt and seaweed hit me as I my foot touched the concrete floor. I could feel the rumble of the ferries engines underneath me and I realised that I didn’t know whether I was sea sick or not. I really didn’t want to find out today.

The place where all the coaches and Lorries were parked (I didn’t know what it was called; it looked a lot like a dungeon) was dark and dreary but even that couldn’t spoil the excitement that was being to rupture though me. Jay took my hand and dragged me through the maze of vehicles, dodging the puddles of sea water as we went. “We’re never going to find our coach.” I stated, noticing that there were at least fifteen coaches that were identical to ours.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jay replied. “I used to spend our playing spot the difference with my Nan at the nursing home. I’ll make sure we get back on the right coach.” Great, I had to put my trust into Jay. We climbed the stairs that led us onto the first deck. It was rather busy and I let myself wonder where everyone might be going.

“Food.” Jay grunted and tugged on my arm. “But first, pee.” I rolled my eyes as he ducked into the nearest male toilets. I decided to use the bathroom myself because the toilets on coaches are really unhygienic and I’m always scared they’re going to suck me in.

“Well, I must say, trying to pee standing up with the boat tipping everywhere was quite the experience.” Jay informed me. I screwed up my face.

“Must you tell me every little detail of your life?” I asked, shaking my head before he could respond. The food court smelled so good. We each grabbed a tray and told the caterer guy what we wanted. My mouth watered as he handed me a bowl of fries. Jay requested his full English breakfast and I picked up two cartons of orange juice. “I’m going to be so fat by the end of this week.” I sighed. “Especially if the ice cream is as good as everyone says it is.”

“Oh, hush girl. There is nothing on you.” Jay chimed back pulling me onto a vacant table. We immediately began tucking into our food which I must admit wasn’t bad; once I managed to get past the fact the chips were way overcooked.

“So I’m going into the duty free when I’m finished to get us some snacks for the journey. You coming?” He asked. I shook my head. I had been into enough duty free shops at airports to know that they were boring and over-priced. The big clock on the wall let me know that we had just over an hour left before we were requested back at the bus.

“I’m going to head outside for a little while. I’m starting to feel a bit queasy.” Jay immediately leaned backwards as if I was going to puke all over him.

“Okay, but don’t fall off the boat or anything. It would be a real tragedy if you died before we ever got to Italy. But if you do, can I have your Lost DVD’s because that guy who plays Boone is totally hot.”

I wish I was wearing my pointy boots because the kick I gave him just made him grin at me. “I’ll meet you outside when I’m done. Do you want anything in particular?”

“Just something savoury, please.” I told him before he headed off in the direction of expensive cigarettes and dairy milk chocolate. I followed the signs that led to the outside bit of the boat. Immediately the wind whipped my face, making my eyes water. I breathed in the smell of salt water and zipped my jacket up tighter because it really was freezing.

If I craned my neck around, I could still see the white cliffs of Dover. I smiled because they really were pretty if you were into that sort of thing. I could almost see France if I stared really closely. I took a step forward and placed my hands on the white barrier. The sea that was splashing against the side of the ferry wasn’t the blue-green shade I was used to seeing on the TV. It was more blue-brown.

I put my foot on the first bar of the barrier even though there were signs saying not to. I felt like if I looked hard enough, I could almost see fish and ship wrecked boats and anything else that might have been lurking in the English Channel. “Boo!”

“Ah!” I screamed, feeling a pair of hands grab my waist. I think I had just seen my life flash before my eyes. I turned to glare at a pair of bright green eyes. “That wasn’t funny.” I told a laughing Dylan.

“Yes it was.” He spluttered biting his lip.

“I could have fallen in and been eaten by piranha’s or something.” I shrieked. He raised his eyebrows but carried on chuckling.

“I think you would have had more chance of being dissolved by the amount of pollution there is.” He replied. “Anyway, you’re the idiot who was leaning over the side. Did you not see the sign that says not to?” I shot him a dirty look and then glanced around.

“Where is everyone?” I asked. Apart from an old woman who was throwing bread over the side (did she seriously there’d be ducks floating around or something?) there was no one around. Dylan shrugged carelessly.

“I don’t know. Everyone is either eating, sleeping or puking.”

“Nice.”

“I left Kate and her friends in that perfume shop. You know the one where they give you those little sticks so you can carry around a million samples? That one. The smell was clinging to the back of my throat, so I came out here to get some fresh air.”

“Oh.”

“Why are you out here?” He asked, looking directly at me. The seriousness of his gaze made me think that I should have said something intelligent or poetic, but there was nothing poetic about the boat we were on. I gave a shrug that matched his earlier one.

“I was seeing if I could spot a mermaid.” I told him.

“You are kidding right?” He asked, brushing his hair out of his eyes. What little sun there was was shining through the clouds and highlighting him, making him look like some sort of dark angel. This setting could have potential. I smiled at him.

“Maybe.” The wind got hold of a few loose strands of hair and pulled them across my hair. I was about to flick them away, when Dylan reached out and carefully tucked them behind my ear again. The feel of his fingers tracing my cheek made my cheeks flush, although that could have just been blamed on the cold.

It was going to happen again. He was going to kiss me for the second time (or was it the third?) I realised that this time now would probably be the only time we would spend alone over the next week. His eyes travelled down to my lips and could feel my breath quicken. Then I ruined it.

“Thanks.” My voice broke through the trance my mouth seemed to have on Dylan. He blinked a few times before smiling at me. He made no sarcastic comment, or stormed out like he usually did when something interrupted those moments. Gosh, I was confused. I would have preferred any of those things instead of this; instead of him pretending it didn’t happen.

I turned to face the see once again and placed my hands back on the barrier. He did the same and I noticed he was wearing black fingerless gloves. His pale fingers looked almost white sticking out of those dark gloves. Goosebumps erupted all over my body and I had a feeling it was less to do with the temperature and more to do with the fact his hand was pretty close to mine. All I would have to do was move my little finger a couple of centimetres and we’d be touching.

Without even telling my body to, my hand shifted and our skin was touching. It was like we were two magnets being drawn to each other. He glanced down and traced the number two I had written on the back of my hand earlier (just in case Jay failed). As soon as his hand touched mine, all of the feelings and the love I felt for him welled up deep inside me.

“Ahem.” If I and Dylan really were magnets, then it was like one of us had been flipped around, the speed it took us to spring away from each other. Jay was stood behind us, bags weighing his arms down and one of his perfect eyebrows raised.

“I really should see where Kate is.” Dylan mumbled before taking off.

“I knew it!” Jay screeched as soon as Dylan was out of ear shot. “That was so romantic! Like Titanic, but better!”

“Dylan’s hardly Leonardo Dicaprio.” I replied.

“No, he’s way hotter. You two are so gonna end up hooking up by the end of the week!” He exclaimed. I let my eyes fall to the floor; every time he said something like that, I felt guilty for not telling him about what’s already happened between us. “It was such a good idea of mine to sit at the back near him.” He gushed.

“Yeah, now I can see whenever Kate has her hands all over him.” I commented. He tutted back at me.

“Brie, we do not let minor things like girlfriends get in the way of true love...”

***

We made it back to the coach with exactly three minutes to spare. Mr Harris nodded at us as he ticked our name off the register. “Now, we only have another day to go.” Jay sighed. I grunted in response. Not like I wasn’t totally thrilled to be going away with my best friend, but we could have used a plane or something. It would have been much quicker.

Amazingly, no one was late getting back on the coach. I even heard Mr Harris muttering “Something’s not right. Something should have gone wrong by now. Maybe we’ll break down on the way?” I didn’t bring up the little fact that I nearly made us miss our ferry because I was so late.

Of course the coach ride was agonizingly slow. Jay couldn’t have picked worse places for us to sit. I couldn’t talk to him about anything because there were two gossip queens behind us (You know, Kate and one of her minions.) I didn’t trust their ears to not be tuned into our conversation.

Dylan hardly said anything or if he did, it was to his two male friends that were sat on the right side of him. I wish Brett were here; it would have been nice to have more than one friendly face on this trip. I had to admit though; I was secretly pleased that Kate and Dylan didn’t seem as tight as they used to be. Even though he was sandwiched between her and one of his friends (I think his name was Lewis.)

The minutes dragged by slowly. The bus driver had thoughtfully put on re-runs of The Simpsons for us all to watch although my neck started to ache from staring up at the TV’s. He then decided to put on High School Musical karaoke, and though I admit I do love me a little bit of Zac Efron, after the seventh time “Breaking Free” was played, I wished the bloody film had never been made. I had turned around once and realised that Dylan now had his headphones in. I would have gladly listened to his angry music then listen to my drama teacher warble through Gabriella’s lines.

It was around nine o’clock when people started dropping off again. We had just stopped off at a service station, where I managed to brush my teeth using bottle water. France didn’t seem that different to England although the air smelled different. It was more fresh and... warmer. Everyone also talked really fast. I didn’t think my French was up to their standards. I hadn’t spoken a word of it since I was thirteen and managed to drop it as a GCSE.

My eyes felt heavy again and I was pulled into another restless sleep. A flash of light woke me up. My first thoughts were that someone has taken a picture of me, and my money was on Kate when I realised the flashing was coming from outside. There seemed to be a lightning storm or something. I really hope it didn’t follow us to Italy, because any kind of storms always meant bad weather and I really hadn’t packed for rain.

I glanced down to the front of the bus and realised everyone, excluding the coach driver, was asleep. Great, I was the only idiot who had been woken up. I snuggled back down into my travel blanket and squeezed my eyes shut, willing sleep to come to me. It didn’t work. My eyes didn’t want to close and now it seemed like I was wide awake. Perfect.

I stared out of the window for a few minutes although I couldn’t really see anything apart from the occasional lightning and the stars. There were a lot of stars in France. I guess there were a lot of stars everywhere, but you couldn’t really see them in London because of the pollution.

“Brie?” The voice should have startled me, but it was so soft I almost didn’t hear it.

“Huh?” A hand touched my shoulder and I immediately knew it was Dylan.

“I know you’re awake. I saw your reflection in the window.” He said. I rolled my eyes.

“Of course I’m awake. I wouldn’t have replied to you if I wasn’t.”

“Shh...” He whispered. I craned my neck far enough around to see what he was doing. Kate’s arm was hooked around his waist and he was carefully lifted it off him. It took all of my will power not to burst out laughing. His expression looked like he was expecting her to bite his hand off if he woke her.

“What are you doing?” He quickly pulled his finger to his lips signalling that it wasn’t okay for me to talk yet. I couldn’t break his concentration. I patiently waited for him to set himself free. Once he did, he swiftly moved to the empty double seats that were beside ours. He patted the seat next to him.

I eyed it warily before decided that I didn’t have anything better to do. I guess I could talk to Dylan for a few minutes. And I’m not taking any notice of that butterfly feeling in my stomach, either. “I couldn’t sleep.” Dylan told me, once I moved beside him.

“Me neither.” I replied. He grinned at me before gently tugging on my blanket I had brought with me. I resisted for a moment but then let him under. What harm could it do? His body was so warm next to mine. Jay was warm too, but he lacked the spark Dylan gave me. I felt myself huddle closer to him. He smirked which made me realise that he definitely knew what I was doing. I decided I didn’t care anymore.

“The stars are really awesome.” Dylan commented. I pulled a face.

“If you’re going to get all soppy, I’m going back to sleep.”

“You just said you couldn’t sleep.” He chimed back. I shrugged.

“I’ll staple my eyes shut.”

“Over dramatic, much?” He stated. I ignored him.

“So...” Dylan looked down at me. “What did you want? Why did you ask me to sit here?”

“You’re the only one awake. And I’m bored.” He smiled.

“And what do you think I can do about that?”

“I don’t know. Let’s entertain ourselves. Let’s play a game!” His eyes lit up.

“Like eye spy? It’s a little dark to be playing that.” I said. He smirked at me once more and I knew what was coming.

“What about truth or dare?” He suggested. The way his eyes twinkled told me that I didn’t really have a choice and I was playing whether I wanted to or not.

“I’m not doing any dares. I have learnt my lesson the hard way with that.” I shuddered recalling a moment at the boarding school where I had to put dog food down my pants and sit through an entire school day with it there.

“Okay, no dares. Truth can be just as fun.”

“But how do I know if you’re telling the truth?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow. He smiled at me.

“It wouldn’t be any fun if I didn’t. But you have to tell the truth too. I can tell when you lie.”

“No you can’t.” I responded. He just stared at me with an amused look on his face. “Me first, okay?” He nodded. I thought about a question to ask him. I desperately wanted to find out his Kate situation and how he really felt about her but that would sort of give away the fact I liked him. I decided on an easy-ish question. “What’s the worst thing you have done whilst you have been drunk?” I asked.

He raised his eyebrows at the crappiness of my question. “I don’t really get drunk often.” He said. “I can’t think of anything I’ve done, that’s been so bad I’ve regretted it.”
“So no drunken kisses? No puking up on a stranger?” He shook his head. I felt disappointment swell in my chest. I was expecting something good, not this let down answer. “Why don’t you drink?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Is there some rule book that says I should drink just because I’m a teenager?” He asked. He almost sounded angry. “You don’t drink often either.”

“That’s because I look about twelve and I could never get served in a shop or a club.” I replied. I don’t think I have ever been drunk in my life. Sure, some girls used to sneak in bottles of wine and I’d have a swig before spitting it out into a paper cup because wine tastes like really strong vinegar but worse. “You just seem like the sort of person who gets invited to a lot of parties.” I managed to twist the conversation around to make it seem like I was paying him a compliment. It worked because he smiled.

“I don’t look pretty when I drink. Or at least, the morning after I don’t.” That was impossible. However, I could just be blinded by the small fact that I thought I was in love with him. But I’m sure even Jay would agree it would take a lot for Dylan to not look as appealing as he does. “Okay, I think I’ve gotten naked once and ran around the garden; however I was like fourteen and even more lanky than I am now. Are you happy now? I’ve answered your question.”

“Ecstatic. Though, I must admit, I thought the answer would be a lot more entertaining.”

“Sorry, I don’t live up to your expectations.” He grinned. “My turn! Okay, erm, have... No, er, are you still a virgin?” I groaned.

“How come I knew you were going to ask me something sexual?”

“It’s a boy thing. Now answer.”

I rolled my eyes. “No, it’s a Dylan thing. Yes, yes I am. Are you happy?”

“How come?” What sort of question was that?

“What do you mean “how come”?” I repeated.

“How come you are still a virgin?” Well, this was verging on a little too personal.

“I’ve already answered your question. My turn now.”

“Hey, I expanded on my answer. It’s only fair you do as well.” God, he was infuriating at times.

“Well, I don’t know. Could be to do with the fact I was in an all-girl’s boarding school for most of my life. Or I actually want to be in a proper relationship with someone before I do it. Or maybe I’m completely hideous and it’s entirely my fault I’m still a virgin because no boy wants to have sex with me.”
“Believe me, there are worse looking girls than you.”

“Wow, thanks Dylan.”

He flashed his teeth at me. “No problem.” What I wanted him to do was tell me that I wasn’t completely hideous but this was Dylan we were talking about and I figured that was as good a compliment I would ever get from him.

“Now, my turn and I’m going to ask you the same question. Are you still a virgin?”

He smirked. “No.”

“Of course you’re not.”

“Hey, what is that supposed to mean?” He didn’t look annoyed, just curious. I stared at him.

“You have girls all over you every single day and you want me to think that you have never given into temptation?” He opened his mouth to reply but I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. So, who was it?” Now, it was his turn to shake his head.

“No, I’m not doing that girl thing. We are not going to paint our nails and eat ice cream whilst discussing all the gory details.” I rolled my eyes.

“Believe me; I don’t want to know all the gory details. But I’m gonna assume she was really ugly because you don’t want to tell me who she was.”

“It was Kate!” He suddenly exclaimed. “My first time was with Kate.”

“Oh.” That was all I could say. I mean, I was expecting that he had had sex with her, but her being his first was completely different. You always remember your first time, or at least that is what I’ve heard.

“You seem surprised.”

I swallowed the lump that had just formed in my throat. “Well, yeah. Haven’t you had girlfriends before her?”

“Yeah, but it was never anything serious. Kate is my first serious girlfriend.”

“Oh, wow.” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know how to feel. Was it a good thing that Dylan hasn’t had many serious girlfriends? Or was Kate that special to him, he classes her as his only one.

“Okay, my turn now. Who was your first kiss?” I shook my head not wanting to answer. “Aw, come on! I’ve answered all of yours.”

“Well, I’m sort of embarrassed because my first kiss was stolen from me.”

“By who?” I looked at him pointedly and his face lit up. “Oh shit! I was your first kiss?!”

“Shh.” I hissed at him.

“Well, that explains a lot of things. You had no idea what you were doing.” I glared at him and started to get up. “No, no! I’m sorry.” He whispered, encircling my waist with his arms and dragging me back down to his seat. “I’m just shocked that’s all. I’m sorry I stole your first kiss.”

“You should be.” I muttered, but I was finding it hard to stay angry because he still had his arms around me and he was nuzzling into the back of my neck. I could feel my body start to get warm and that fluttering feeling in my stomach sped up. “Who was yours?” I asked him, closing my eyes. Although he was rather bony for a male, he was actually comfy to lean on.

“Sally Johnson at the year seven Christmas Disco. She was the first girl in our year to develop boobs so I was seen as quite the hero.” I would have rolled my eyes if I wasn’t too tired to open them. “Hey, don’t fall asleep; it’s my question now.”

“Ask me tomorrow.” I replied; sleep making my words sound funny. Any smart person would have moved back into their own seat, but not me. Right then, I didn’t think about the consequences tonight’s actions would have tomorrow. The sound of Dylan’s breathing and the gentle hum of the coaches’ engine lulled me into a deep sleep.