Give Me a Reason to Believe

By the time I reached Gerard's block, I was sweating and panting and ready to drop. It was like a million blocks from the school to his house and I had run the whole way.

Oh well. It was worth it.

I wasn't JUST running to get there faster... I was still extremely pissed from what Odelette had said, and I had to burn off some of my angry energy.

Also, to spare the guys some grief, I didn't want to give her the chance to catch up to me and force me to beat her to death with a blunt object.

I'm nice like that.

I slowed to a walk as Gerard's house came into view. His basement light was on, which told me he probably had some of the guys over and they were either watching a movie or doing something horribly stupid.

Depended on whether Frankie was there or not.

As I got closer, I heard some music blasting from downstairs, and I rang the back doorbell. The music suddenly ceased, and I heard murmurs. I knew they were unsure whether they heard a ring or not, so I rang it again.

5 pairs of feet rushed up the stairs and a red faced, sweaty, messy haired Gerard swung the door open. His face split in a grin and he grabbed me around the waist and swung me around before hugging me tightly.

"Hey babe. How ar--.." He trailed off and his smile faded when he saw the expression on my face. I was ready to burst into tears. Either tears of anger, frustration, or worry I did not know. But I knew he wouldn't be happy when I told him what I'd done.

Did I have to tell him?

Of course you do, dumbass. Don't be anymore of a coward than you already are. TELL HIM.

He might not get angry. He might understand. He's sweet like that...

Don't be ridiculous. Of course he's going to get angry, he's obviously been on Odelette's side this whole time. Tell Frankie first. He'll understand. He doesn't seem to love her as much as everyone else.

He doesn't really seem to like her at all.

"Babe?... What's wrong? What happened?" asked Gerard, now looking pretty concerned.

I tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"Nothing at all. Frankie, can I see you in the kitchen, please?" and when the others started to follow, I added, "alone?"

Gerard gave me an odd look and reluctantly headed downstairs with a very confused Mikey, Ray and Bob.

Once we got in the kitchen, I shut the door and turned my worried face to Frankie's expectant one.

"I punched Odelette."

"Ahahahahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Are you serious? How hard? Was she conscious? What'd she do? Did you only punch her once? Did she try to fight back? Let me see your hand, are you knuckles bleeding? Damn. You could have killed her! Why didn't you do a more thorough job?" he was laughing all through this bombardment of questions, and it was hard to understand. I was so shocked that he wasn't angry, surprised, confused, anything. He thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

"Yes I'm serious, not very hard, but she bit her lip or her tongue or something, so she was bleeding when I left. But she WAS conscious. She told me some disturbing things about her and Gerard, so I got angry. I only punched her once, but I did slap her beforehand. She slapped me after that, which brought on the punch. I know I could have killed her, and I didn't want to because A) I'd go to jail! and B) Gerard would hate me," I said, as tears came to my eyes and my voice broke. He quieted down and his eyes bore into mine.

"Hun, what exactly did she say to you?" he asked softly.

"She... she said that... that her and Gerard once had something going... and they were in love. And that she broke it off.. and he was crushed. She implied that I was only something he got off the rebound.. and she could have him back if she wanted him... which she did. And she told me to watch my ass. I don't know what that means, maybe she'll try to hurt me.. .or get someone else to hurt me. It scared me a little bit. But I need the truth, did she or did she not date Gerard?" I finished, looking directly into Frankie's eyes.

He sighed. "Lena, I hate to do this to you, but yes, they did date. For about a year. They seemed to be in love, but he was a lot happier when she wasn't around, which would suggest that she didn't make him as happy as he thought. He feels for you so much more and so much deeper than he could ever feel for her. I've never seen him this happy. Since Odelette dumped him he was wallowing in a pit of self pity and alcohol. I haven't seen him touch a single drop since you came into his life. Since that one day during summer, where we talked to you in your gazebo, he hasn't touched any at all. It just stopped! Do you want to know what happened the day we met you? When we went back to his house, he was more active, more responsive, and just brighter than we'd seen him in a long time. I asked him what it was that made him take this sudden turn, and he said 'today, I realized that I have a reason to live. A great one. I've seen an angel, Frankie. A real live angel'." Frankie smiled at me and patted my arm as he finished.

Those last words took the breath right out of my chest.

Tears spilled down my cheeks, and the biggest smile I've ever given appeared on my face. The foreboding first words of his statement was forgotten as the sweetness of the last ones melted my heart.

Gerard loved me...

loved me more than he could ever love... her.

He had always loved me, and, I realized now, that I'd always loved him.

Still, there was this nagging fear that he would not like what I had to say.

"How will I tell Gerard? Any of them? They've known Odelette longer, and as close as we already are, something tells me they'll think I'm just being a vicious, jealous bitch. What do I do?" Panic rose in my chest again.

"Well, you have to tell Gerard, and tell him the real story, before Odelette gets to him and twists the story so she looks perfectly innocent. Trust me, I know. I have personally witnessed--AND experienced-- the two faces of this evil woman. I'll be right there with you, and no matter what, I have your back."

He smiled reassuringly, and I felt as if all my worrying was stupid and unnecessary.

We walked downstairs and the guys were sprawled out on the furniture; Gerard on the couch, his legs stretched languorously, Bob in the recliner, Ray on the arm of the chair Gerard was lying on, and Mikey on his stomach on the floor, fiddling with his glasses.

When they heard us, everyone looked up and Gerard sat up curiously. I walked towards Gerard smiling, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"Oh, baby.. oh, honey-- what's wrong?" Gerard asked softly, concern and tenderness plain on his face. I sat beside him and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Gerard... please don't be angry with me... please..." I began.

"What's wrong, darling? Of course I won't be angry with you, what's going on? You're breaking my heart," he said as he held me tighter.

"Gerard I... I talked to Odelette today.. and she said... she said that she... has feelings for you. I didn't know how to take it.. I was scared... She said she was going to take you from me..." Damnit, why is this so difficult? Just expose the lying bitch and get ON with it!

His hold on me loosened.

"Elena, what are you talking about? I told you that we don't--... And what the hell do you mean, take me from you? You're being ridiculous. I'm sure thats not what she meant. I'm going to go talk to her." He got up and began maneuvering around Mikey to get to the door.

A little red flag went up.

"No! Gerard! Wait! I mean.. I still have something to tell you.. I... I got scared. And I was mad at her... so I... Gerard, I slapped her."

He turned around slowly, white faced and incredulous.

"You HIT her? Lena, what's gotten into you? Is she okay? Why would you hit her?" His voice was rising with every word. I winced as if he'd hit me. His face softened a little.

"You don't understand! You don't know what she was saying! Anyways she... she slapped me back.. so I ... I lost my temper. I punched her, Gerard. I made her bleed," I closed my eyes at this last part. I didn't want to see his face.

It was dead silent.

I didn't hear him turn to go.

"You're... you're not going to go talk to her, are you? You're not leaving?" I asked timidly.

Silence. Thirty seconds.... A minute.... Three minutes... Five.

"No, no I'm not going anywhere," he walked over to me and grabbed my chin with his hand. He jerked my face up to his, "open your eyes, don't be a coward. It's you who's going. I don't think I can be around you right now."

My heart stopped. He couldn't mean that. Couldn't be around me? My face crumbled and I began to cry again.

"Gerard, come on, man.. She just--" began Frankie.

Gerard didn't let him finish.

"Shut up. Odelette's been a good friend to me, and has never hurt a soul," he turned his attention back to me, "You had no right to do what you did, and you're lucky you didn't get worse. Now go, Elena."

He spat my name out as if he couldn't wait to get rid of it. I had never heard him say it so roughly, with so much disgust. I felt my heart shatter.

I bit my lip to keep from crying out loud, and fled, jumping over Mikey. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.

Frankie's P.O.V.

"You're an asshole, Gerard. You're fucking blind," I said. He looked at me wide eyed, and winced. He looked hurt and ashamed. Something in his face told me that he knew I was right.

I left the room and slammed the door behind me. Lena was just about to shut the door behind her.

"Lena, wait!" I yelled.