Give Me a Reason to Believe

"What's it to me? What's it to me? Fuck you, Gerard! After all that bullshit you're gonna sit here and say "what's it to me"? I'm your best friend! She's your girlfriend! Do you have any idea what you put her through? And for that trashy French whore? Whatever. If that's how you're gonna be then fuck you. We don't need you, and while you're like this, we don't want you, either," screamed Frank, jumping to his feet.

I couldn't believe the shameless reply Gerard had made. I didn't feel any tears this time though.

I only felt hurt; hurt and angry. Was this how he treated his friends, his girlfriend? Because if it was, I wanted nothing to do with him.

He'd caused me enough pain after I'd been nothing but kind and sweet to him. And he had gone from me to... to her.

Odelette.

And she'd probably welcomed him with open arms. I didn't know that I could ever hold him, kiss him, ever again.

Not while I held that image in my mind.

"Why, Gerard? With Odelette and the... the drinking. Frankie told me about how you used to drink. Why did you start again?" I said softly, trying to keep them both calm.

He wasn't listening to me. He was staring at Frank with smoldering eyes, a white lipped expression, and tightly balled fists.

Oh, no.

"Its none of your fuckin business what I do! And if you guys are such GOOD friends to me you'd leave me the hell alone with what I want to do. Or," he turned to face me with a cruel expression, "WHO I do."

This time I felt tears. I forced them down. I wouldn't let him see me cry. Not ever again. This man was heartless, so that was how I wanted to appear to him. I hardened my heart against him.

Apparently that last remark was too much for Frankie.

With a loud yell, he pulled back his fist and nearly sent Gerard's bottom teeth through his lower lip.

It made a sickening sound, and I turned my head. I normally hate fights, but right then, I didn't care if Frankie beat him to death.

At least thats what I told myself.

He fell back onto the couch and his hand went to his jaw, and I could see that he was a little dazed. As he fell I jumped up; it was a natural reflex.

Frankie stood there, panting, his fists clenched so tightly the knuckles had turned white. He seemed hesitant to do anything more, seeing as how Gerard was just sitting there, staring into space.

Suddenly, Gerard lunged forward and tackled Frankie to the ground, knocking a lamp off of an end table and shattering it everywhere.

I let out a little shriek, because Gerard seemed to be a lot stronger than Frankie, and there's no telling what he could have done in that state. You think I'm overreacting, but you didn't see his eyes. They had this unscrupulous animal look in them. It was terrifying.

I stood rooted to the spot, unable to do anything. It was a problem that was rarely presented, but in some cases, if I was scared, my body refused to listen to me and actually DO something about it.

So there I was, helpless to ... help.... as the horrible scene unfolded before my eyes. Occasionally Frankie would hit Gerard hard enough to fend him off for a second, but Gerard would be right back on top of him, beating the shit out of him.

Frank wrapped one of his hands around Gerard's throat while another tried to wrench itself out of Gerard's grasp. Then I saw something that galvanized me into action.

Gerard was reaching for a piece of the shattered glass from the lamp's base. I didn't want to know what he planned to do with it. I lurched forward and grabbed onto Gerard's shoulders, jerking back and trying to pull him away from Frankie.

"Gerard! No! Stop! You don't know what you're doing! Please, honey!" I was trying to pull him off while saying this, and he finally responded.

Not exactly in the way I'd hoped.

"Get the fuck off of me!" he shouted as he lashed out at me with his right arm in hopes of flinging me away.

Too bad he had picked the glass up with his right hand.

I felt a white-hot pain tear through my cheek, and I fell back onto my ass.

Everything went silent.

Gerard's eyes were as wide as saucers as he watched me clamp my hand to my cheek, torrents of blood running through my fingers.

He looked at his blood streaked hand with horror, as if it were foreign to him; as if he couldn't believe the hand that did that to me was actually attached to him.

"Lena... baby, I'm sorry.. Oh, god, I'm sorry," he hoarsely whispered as he made a move towards me.

"Don't touch me," I said as I scuttled backward.

He looked like I'd struck him, and his eyes glistened. I didn't feel any sympathy for him now. He had been so cruel.

He and Odelette were welcome to each other. He obviously didn't want me, so I didn't want him anymore.

Frankie scooted over towards me, and put his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around his abdomen; he didn't seem to care if I got blood on him.

I looked up at him, and his warm tears fell on my face. Tears of anger? Frustration? Just plain sadness at what he'd just seen? I didn't know.

"If you touch her again, it will be the last thing you ever fucking do. Now go," came Frankie's ice cold, yet surprisingly steady voice.

Gerard opened his mouth as if to say something, but clamped it shut again. As a single tear rolled down his cheek, he got up, and without a word, he left.

I was glad to have his arms around me. There was nothing sexual or heated about the way we were sitting; just one friend comforting another.

I sat there, shivering, as Frankie held me, silently trying to force his tears down.

When he succeeded, he said, in a shaking voice, "Come on, sweetheart. Let's go get you cleaned up."

He detached me from him, took my hand, and led me to the bathroom.

He sat me on the sink and took a warm, wet cloth to my cheek. He started with water, which wasn't that bad, and then peroxide, which was. I nearly cried, and he let me squeeze his hand as hard as I wanted. I think I nearly broke him.

When he had gotten through the parts that were painful--for both of us-- he bandaged me.

"Thank you, Frankie. Not just for this, but I mean.. for taking care of me. For defending me against Odelette and Gerard. For reassuring me and supporting me with all this shit. You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for; you're an angel. And I love you," I said with a grateful smile.

"I love you too, Elena," he said in a startling tone. I looked up at him, and there was a tenderness in his eyes that I couldn't even explain. He brushed the hair out of my face and gave a small smile.

And before I could respond, his lips claimed mine.

His mouth was warm; sweet and urging. There was a fire in this kiss that Gerard could never have stirred. All my surroundings melted away, and my head began to spin.

As stupid as that sounds.

He ended the kiss, and we just kind of stared at each other for a minute.

"I always have..." he whispered, almost so that I couldn't hear him. He wrapped his arms around me, and we just sat there like that. This embrace was different; this one held something so much more than the kindness of a friend.

I had discovered a new, deeper emotion for this boy, this boy who stood here, holding me so gently.

And, deep down, I knew that he felt the same things for me.

I remember thinking that I had never felt like this in Gerard's arms.

And I sometimes think now that maybe Gerard wasn't ever meant to hold me like that in the first place.

That didn't matter. All that mattered was that I knew then who I should have been with all along.

And Gerard would never hurt me again.