Give Me a Reason to Believe

Frankie's P.O.V.

Oh, good God almighty, I love that girl.

You don't even understand; when she came to me for comfort, when I felt like she trusted me so much, when she put her arms around me, I had to fight with all my might the urge to buy her the world.

After I dropped her off, I called my house from my cell. Nobody answered, so I figured I was free to drive around with my thoughts for a while. I wanted to feel this beautiful night's air, because I had never felt more alive.

I just drove down the quiet streets, slowly, going over this entire day in detail.

My knuckles went white as I gripped the steering wheel harder when I thought of the look on Gerard's face just before he had slashed Lena's face open.

I wanted to do the same to him. Maybe not his cheek, though. Maybe his throat.

I shook my head as if to clear these odious thoughts. I didn't really want him dead... I was just frustrated.. and hurt. This guy had been my best friend my entire life, and I couldn't understand this behavior. It made me feel savagely depressed.

I wanted so badly to help him, but I didn't know how. And now, after all he'd done, I felt like I'd be betraying Lena if I tried to buddy up to him again.

But something told me that no matter how angry she was, her kind and caring nature made her want to see him be just as he was before.

I wanted to see him as he was before too; but in a different way. I wanted to see him as he was before we even met Odelette. He was the greatest guy you'd ever want to meet.. but he'd changed somehow when she came into the picture. When it came to Odelette, he was detached, distant, and even dishonest to us sometimes.

He was just like her. She had ruined him. Possibly forever.

I stopped the car as I approached the local park.

I'll sit in here for a while with my thoughts, this is always a peaceful, pretty place.

It was even one of the few places here that was safe after dark.

I parked the car along the curb and walked to the swingset where I'd spent so many late nights and early mornings; especially when my parents were getting divorced. It was the best place ever to just relax. I don't know what it is about parks; you just feel innocent again. Like a child.

I stopped and listened when I heard a voice. I couldn't really distinguish it, but it sounded slightly familiar. I wasn't close enough to tell what it was saying, and I could make out two dark figures. Damnit. They were on my contemplation apparatus. By which of course I mean the swings.

I started walking slowly and quietly towards them, maybe I'd figure out who they were. They didn't seem to notice me.

When I finally got within earshot, and I could see them clearly, I stopped again and my breath caught in my throat.

What the hell??

Normal (Elena's) P.O.V.

As my answer to his pleas sunk in, his body went limp and he sank off of his swing to the ground.

His face was contorted into an expression of pure agony, and he kept clenching his fists, pulling up handfuls of grass and clawing at the ground, as if he wanted to just dig a hole and die there.

"Lena... why? I-I don't know what I can do! Why don't you love me anymore? I'm nothing without you. P-Please, give me another chance!" he pleaded through tears as he pounded his fists on the ground and grabbed at his hair.

Come on. Feel something. You must. Look at him, he's pouring his heart out. FEEL SOMETHING!

But I couldn't. As I looked at him, I felt no other feelings arise in my chest. Just pity. As I continued watching him, I realized he must still be drunk. Maybe even drunker than when he'd left Frankie's house.

He must have gone and drunk some more after he sliced me.

At least he wasn't slurring, and he seemed to understand everything we were saying.

Well, now I did feel a new emotion.

But it wasn't love, or anything like I'd expected.

It was disgust.

"Get up. You look pathetic. You honestly don't know why I don't feel that way towards you anymore? Of course you don't. You've been to preoccupied with the woman who came first in your mind. That French whore you love so much. Well you know what? You're welcome to her, because I don't want you anymore. You pushed me to the back burner; you ordered me out of your house because of something she started, and you honestly think I'm going to forgive you because I love you? ... loved you? You must be dense," I finished my tirade and he looked up at me with a shocked, wounded expression.

As much as I hated him then, I still liked to think I was a genuinely soft hearted person, so I looked away from his wide, dark eyes.

"You can't mean that. It wasn't that big of a deal, I just wanted to make sure Odie was okay... She has been so kind to me... and we've been through all our high school years together.. of course I was going to get a little upset when you hit her for no apparent reason, I mean--..." I didn't let him finish THAT bullshit statement.

"No apparent reason? Are you retarded??? Gerard, she threatened to take you away from me, maybe even hurt me. Back when I cared about you, that was a big deal! It was a fucking huge deal! She wanted to take away the only thing I loved, because she couldn't stand to not be the center of attention 24 fucking 7. I suppose you never really heard the true story anyways, being too cowardly to go and actually see her, and too much of an asshole to stick around long enough to hear ME out," I finished, angry tears coming down my cheeks, as I remembered how he had acted so callously.

Fuck him.

"So what IS the real story, Lena? So she threatened to take me away, she was probably kidding! She's a sweet girl, and I don't see how she could do something like that. You probably just overreacted like you always do, and--" There was NO way I was going to let that one lie. No fucking way.

Before he got to finish, I slapped him across the face as hard as I could. It made a loud cracking sound in the silent night air, and he was silenced, his eyes large and dark, a vivid mark similar to the one I gave Odelette was already visible on his face.

That's right, bitch. I hit you. What are you gonna do about it?

He said nothing, only placed his hand over the cheek I had smacked, and his eyes began glistening again.

Oh, spare me the waterworks. Pansy.

You had it coming. You're pathetic. I don't know how I didn't see this sooner. You're weak and spineless. How did I ever love you?

We both jumped and looked out into the darkness as we heard someone cough.

Someone stepped out of the shadows and revealed himself to us, a bemused expression on his face.

Oh, fuck.

Frankie's P.O.V.

I heard everything they said. I had no idea she could be like that. On one hand, I was shocked, because she had always seemed so sweet and kind, and on the other, he deserved it. With any other girl, he probably would have gotten a lot worse, and she had only spoken the truth.

I was also surprised because I had no idea things would be that strained with them.

"Frankie, I-.." she began.

I waved my hand in a dismissive gesture, and she fell silent. I didn't want an explanation. I had heard all I needed to know. I stayed calm for her sake, but all I wanted to do was wrap that swings chain around his neck and strangle him.

He had hurt her. I wanted to hurt him. It was logical.

I decided I was being childish, and walked a little closer.

"What are you guys doing here? Lena, why aren't you at home, what are you doing with this asshole?" I asked softly, gesturing towards Gerard. He winced.

"He tricked me. He got Mikey to call me and pretend to be having troubles, so he could talk to me. I don't know why I haven't left yet; why I didn't leave as soon as I found it was him," she replied, as if he weren't even there.

"Frank, I just wanted to... I don't know what... I guess I wanted to explain myself. I needed her to know that I didn't mean to... " he glanced at her cheek, "to hurt her. I was angry, and drunk, and... I don't know what else. I'm sorry... I'm sorry I tricked you, Lena. I'm sorry for everything. I just want things to be how they were..."

Ah, Gerard...

Normal P.O.V.

Gerard said all this in a pathetically small voice, and I felt my heart break a little bit. I kept my face like stone for Frankie's benefit. I didn't want him to know I was going soft on Gerard...

Poor, poor Gerard...

Shut up.
Make me.

Oh, God, not the internal arguments again. I thought I'd gotten control over those.

"We understand, Gerard... Its just going to take some time, you know? I think... I think if you just promise to cut Odelette out... I mean, she's no good for you, man.. She's.. there's something just not right about her. I believe Lena about what happened in the school. She's been horrible to me before, I just didn't know how to tell you... I mean, she made you seem to have some semblance of happiness..." said Frankie uncertainly.

Gerard nodded. He knew that Frankie was right. He even seemed to look like he'd known this himself.

And he probably did. He just didn't want to lose her. She loved him. Or made him think so, anyways.

Nobody wants to lose that.

And here he had, twice.

I started to understand some of his actions in the past couple of days. I felt my anger evaporate.

Maybe things could be different; maybe we could just be friends, and I could just be with Frankie...

Oh, shit. Gerard doesn't know about... about how I feel for Frankie.

Should I tell him? Well, that would be silly. I don't even know if Frankie feels the same way...

I smiled inwardly.

You know that's not true. You know he loves you with all his heart.

Yeah, but I like to be modest.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Gerard began first.

"The only real happiness I ever had was with Lena... And now I've lost that, probably forever. Unless I straighten up my act, that is.." he said hopelessly.

Again I opened my mouth to tell them both what I had been waiting to tell Gerard since he revealed that it was he and not Mikey at the park. But once again, my opportunity slid by as Frankie spoke.

"Actually, Gerard, there's something I want to tell you. Something I want to tell both of you."

My breath caught in my throat.

Lena, I know I should have told you before, but I was scared. I didn't know how to tell you, but I figure if I don't do it now, I'll never get another chance to. I love you, Lena. More than a close friend. I've been exploring these feelings for weeks now, and I know that I love you. With all my heart,"

Called that one.

"and I'm sorry, Gerard, but if you try and take her from me, again, I can't be held responsible for my actions." He finished with a little bit of a half smile. Oh, that nutty boy.

I could tell he was being serious, though. He loved me, and dear God, I loved him back. he didn't want to fight his best friend for me, but he would if he had to.

"You deserve her, Frankie. Much more than I ever did. I... I hope you both are very... very happy.. I... I have to go," Gerard said, suddenly very upset looking, and his voice cracked a little bit. He got up, and just before he turned around to run, I saw his face crumble and he started to cry.

I felt a stab of guilt. Even though this wasn't my fault, and I knew that I couldn't help who I did and did not love, I felt bad for Gerard. I still wanted to be his friend, he just needed help. And who better to give him that help than his best friends?

I sank back in the swing and sighed. Frankie came and sat at my feet.

"Now that you know... what do you think?" he asked tentatively.

I looked down at him and smiled warmly.

"I think... that you are the most amazing person I've ever met. And I love you too, Frankie. I love you so much, and I'm just glad you had to say it before I did," I finished with a teasing grin. He threw a handful of grass at me.

As I reached down to grab a handful to throw back at him, he grabbed my arm and pulled me off the swing. I landed on the ground next to him, and he turned over so his face was inches from mine.

"Remember that day we all played in the park together?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied.

"Would you believe me if I said this was all I wanted to do that whole entire time I was acting like an idiot on the slide and everywhere else?" he asked sweetly.

He was so damn cute! I also realized, though, that he had waited for me for a hell of a long time. I felt stupid for not realizing sooner. But seriously, who could tell what that guy was ever thinking when he was acting like a Skittle nut?

I was too shy to answer this, for reasons unknown to me. I blushed bright red, and he was looking into my eyes as if he wanted to stay here forever, under the moonlight with me, like in some sappy insipid love story.

He started leaning in slowly, and I knew he was going to kiss me. I closed my eyes, and a thousand thoughts raced through my head.

Just before his lips reached mine, I bailed.

"Frank? ... I think I should go home..." I said, my voice wavering.

He gave me an understanding smile, and helped me up. Even though I didn't live more than 8 blocks away, he insisted on driving me.

"Its dark, its late, its Jersey. You're coming with me," he commanded as he opened the passenger door for me. I stuck my tongue out at him as I got in.

We had a similar good-bye scene as when he'd dropped me off before, only this time, it felt more natural. More complete. We both knew each other's feelings now, and it was the best I'd felt since I first fell in love with Gerard.

I pushed THAT venomous thought to the back of my mind.

It was about 11, and I was pretty beat. I changed into some pyjamas and collapsed on my bed. Before long, I drifted into a deep, peaceful slumber.

I was soon jerked out of that slumber, though, by the sound of my cellphone on my nightstand ringing like a madman. I checked my clock.

Come onnn, it's 3 am, leave me alooone!

I answered, and to my surprise, it wasn't a drunk, delirious Gerard, but it was in fact a sober and panicked Ray.

"Ray, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Lena, it's Gerard. I'm coming to pick you up. Everyone's at the hospital. Don't tell your parents anything; we haven't told ours. Just leave the house as silently as you can, I'll be there in 5."

With that, the line went dead. I was surprised that he'd said 5, because he lived a good 20 minutes away.

Cold fear rose in my chest, and there was a taste like copper in the back of my throat. I had no idea what could be wrong with Gerard, but if it was enough for law-abiding Ray to triple the speed limit to get us there, it was enough for me to worry about.

I threw on some decent clothes and a jacket; I didn't have to creep downstairs, my parents weren't home anyways. They would probably be too out of it when they came home to notice that my shoes weren't at the door, and they wouldn't take the time to check my room.

I sat in the driveway, anxiously looking down the street every time I saw headlights. I forced myself to stay calm, but it was hard. I was terrified.

Finally, Ray pulled up, screeched to a stop, and threw the passenger door open.

"Ray, what happened to Ger--" I stopped as I saw his face. It was streaked with tears and he looked almost grief-stricken.

He didn't answer me, just sped off towards Belleville General.