Give Me a Reason to Believe

Later that night, after I had called Isabella back and described all these new happenings to her, I went and lay down on my bed.

This was just too much. I was exhausted. Ever since we’d kissed I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Would he ever kiss me again?

I had no idea.

Did he enjoy it?

Still, no clue.

Does he actually like me?

Buddy, let’s not even GO there!
This was way too confusing without my insecurities interjecting, so I left it alone.

Or tried to, anyways.

I wished desperately that I hadn’t finished my painting, because that would give me something else to think about, but alas, I had put the last splotches of blood red rain on that canvas and had put it to dry.

I couldn’t ever face looking into his eyes again, I would be too embarrassed, and I knew what I felt about him would be written all over my face.

Damn. Why did I have to be so damn curious?

Couldn’t I just think "okay, he kissed me. B.F.D. It probably didn’t mean anything, and I don’t care, because I don’t like him."

But no, I can’t say that. Because I know it’s not true. I am madly in like with this emerald eyed boy, and I knew I would go to any lengths to feel what I felt when his lips met mine again.

And something told me that he was thinking exactly the same thing.

Nobody could kiss like that and not mean it.

And there was something I was overlooking.

Yes, I had kissed him first, but that kiss ended!

HE started the second one! I had just remembered that!

Yes, I pulled away and HE pulled me back and kissed me again!

Oh joyous day, Gerard kissed ME, so he MUST feel something for me!

He wouldn’t have done it just to make me feel better about kissing him in the first place, because I just knew he wasn't like that. I don't know how, but I knew

. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait to see him again.