Give Me a Reason to Believe

The next day, I got up and showered. It was about nine a.m., so the boys probably wouldn’t be up yet.

I brushed my hair and threw on some black shorts and a white Misfits t-shirt. My parents, I knew, wouldn’t be back until about supper time, so I went out for a drive.

I wanted some new canvases, and I had to explore the town anyways, so I hopped in my little Subaru XT and drove aimlessly down the street.

The first store I came up to was a place called the Get-In-Get-Out. It was a little gas station corner store type, and I decided to go in for a Froster. I’m a sucker for those ice cream Slurpee combinations. Besides, it was broiling today, I had an excuse.

After I purchased my little Froster, I walked back outside to find none other than Gerard walk out of the WolvXerine comic store across the street.

As soon as I saw him I smiled and waved, and he smiled right back and started walking across towards me. I leaned against my car and greeted him.

“Hey! How’s it going? Aren’t the guys still at your house? What are you doing up so early?” I asked all in one breath, curious as hell.

“Hey, pretty good, yes, and getting the new X-Men issue. How are you?” He replied without missing a beat, quite amused. He looked at me like he thought I was damned precious.

“I’m pretty good. Just stepped out into this lovely ninety degree day and decided I needed something cold and sweet,” I said, holding up the Froster.

“Well, should I go jump in a tub of ice, and you can have me instead?” asked Gerard, with a playful smile and a little laugh.

“Tempting offer, but I think I’ll stick to my slurpee, thanks,” I replied smoothly, “And how come the guys aren’t with you?”

“Ah, they’re all back at the house sleeping. I was the first one to bed, so naturally they all had to call me a pussy and beat my time. They’ll likely be up and about around noon ish,” he answered, rolling his eyes.

“Cute. Want to take a little ride while you’re waiting?” I asked hopefully.

“Actually, I’d rather walk. Care to take a little walk while I’m waiting?” he asked, his eyes dancing.

“Love to,” I said.

He walked me around town, showing me the various stores, shops, stations, and what have you.

We stopped in a park to play with a loose dog who ran up to greet us, and got into a conversation while sitting on the bench to catch our breath.

“So what got you into singing?” I asked him.

“Well, my grandmother has a lot to do with it, because she has the voice of an angel, you see, and she thought that I could do well at it. She never pushed me to it, though, only suggested it and let it run its course. I finally decided that I should try it, after a long run with art, that I’m actually still heavily into, and I’m in a band called Raygun Jones. It’s pretty rough still, but we’re working on it,” he answered.

“That’s pretty sweet. Who else is in the band with you?” I asked, “Anyone I know?”

“Well, there’s me, and Ray, and Mikey. Frankie plays guitar, but he’s got his own thing called Pencey Prep going, and Bob, well, he’s really more into mixing. He doesn’t really play an instrument, other than drums, and he makes some music sound amazing with his tuners and everything. There’s another guy in the band, his name is Dave, and he’s our drummer. He’s pretty cool,” Gerard said, looking directly into my eyes with his intense gaze again, “What got you into painting?”

“I originally wanted to try illustration, because of the X-men and Hellboy comics, but after a short bout I realized I sucked at it, so I just said well, let me try painting, and I’ll never bother you again. To myself, I mean. I decided I’d try something else if I couldn’t pull painting off, but I totally could, so here I am,” I replied, deep in thought, really wondering how I was liking painting so far. With a muse like Gerard, who wouldn’t love it, even IF you sucked at it?

“Are you serious? I love comic books! Especially the X-Men and Hellboy! That’s awesome, we love so many of the same things!” he said, smiling broadly.

Too bad we don’t love that many of the same people... I thought sadly.

That pulled a fragment of courage out of the dark realms of my being right then.

“Gerard...” I said slowly, “About yesterday... what did that mean to you?”

He knew what I meant. He wasn’t even going to pretend he didn’t, because he was just as curious about it as I was.

“I’m not sure yet, but I can tell you right now, that I enjoyed it more than anything else that’s been going on lately. It was such an impulsive thing, I’ve never done something like it before. Do you... do you feel the same way?” he asked tentatively.

“I really do, I think. If I understand what you were saying, then yes. I feel exactly the same way. I felt... chemistry. What people call sparks. Romance, if you will. A ... chemical romance of sorts,” I finished with a laugh.

“I love that phrase. A lot. Would you mind if I used it, ever, somewhere?” I told him that I didn’t. At all.

He laughed, too. Not in a mocking way. It was such a sweet, melodic laugh that I instinctively knew I wanted to hear again, needed to hear again.

By this time, it was about noon, so we decided to head back to my car so I could drive us both home. We drove in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. There was nothing more that needed to be said, and we were happy with that.

Happy to just be near each other, enjoying each other’s company.

Call it love, call it like, call it anything you please, anything at all.

Whatever it was, I was loving it.