Standing Still For Far Too Long

Brady was back from the Warehouse on the next morning. The Warden was in the Boy’s Division room at four-thirty to wake Gerard; he would be the one to go get him. He found the boy shivering under a terrible excuse for a sheet with his head resting on the filthy mattress. It might have been May, but the mornings were cold. He didn’t bother to wake him up; Brady’s frame was slight, and Gerard had no trouble carrying him back to the main building where he then helped the half asleep boy back into his bunk bed.

Gerard walked slowly back to his own bed on the other side of the room; he was just about to climb in when a pale hand reached down and rested on his shoulder. Gerard looked up and saw two rounds eyes that challenged the size of the earth staring back at him.

“Are you going to be able to get back to sleep?” Frank’s voice was just above a whisper, and it sounded with a slight drowsiness that wasn’t threatening to his consciousness.

“I doubt it.” A similar toned voice found its way out of Gerard’s mouth.

“Well, why don’t you come up here…?” Frank let out a yawn, “we can talk a little.”

Gerard found himself grasping the edges of the bed and hoisting himself onto the top bunk, then he found his face buried in the soft fabric of Franks shirt. His movements became frantic as he searched for something to help him pick up his face, but he only managed to press his hand into Franks face. He succeeded in lifting his head, despite the flailing that his hand had induced from Frank, but when he finally managed see where his hand was -- and remove it -- the look on Frank’s face was already one of mock horror.

“You nearly suffocated me with your big hand!” Frank exaggerated his gasps for air as he started clutching his throat.

Gerard shrugged and tried to suppress his growing smile, “You invited me up here. So it’s your fault by…invitation.”

Frank scoffed, “I suggest we stick to your bed from now on with our little chats.” His smile grew, and he used his left hand to pull Gerard down so that he was lying down. They both assumed the positions that they had been earlier; both hands rested behind their head, their legs were straight, and their eyes were glued to the ceiling that was just as interesting as the bottom of Frank’s bed.

“We’re going to be really tired today.” Gerard’s voice broke the silence.

“Why? Can’t we just take a nap later?”

“Well, today is Division Come Togetherness Day; at least that’s what Mr. Tom calls it. We’re supposed to spend the whole day with the girls. It’s on the second Thursday of every month so…”

“Well that should be fun…”

Gerard noticed the sarcasm right away, “Do you have something against girls?” He laughed quietly in an effort to lighten to the mood.

“No, I’ve just had my share of bad experiences with them.”

“Like what?”

“They’re just not nice.”

“Not nice like how?”

“They’re just bitches.” The change of tone was evident in Frank’s voice, and it nearly made Gerard shiver. The volume of his voice had lowered, and the pitch had followed suit. He forced himself to look over at Frank, and he saw that his facial expression was darker; his curiosity got the best of him.

“We’re going to be stuck here together for a long time, Frankie. Can’t you just…you know…tell me about it?”

He felt the bed move as Frank shifted and sighed, “I was living in this town in Rhode Island; I think it’s been about a year, and I met this girl through one of my friends. Well, she liked me and all, and I guess I liked her too. But then she just did something really shitty to me. She just ruined my reputation with everybody, so I had to leave. That’s basically it.”

Gerard was thankful that he’d gotten anything out of him, and he didn’t push it further.

“A girl here likes me.” Gerard blurted the words out quickly in an attempt to change the subject.

He felt Frank’s eyes begin to stare at him, “How old is she?” The tone of Frank’s voice was back to normal, and the mood lightened considerably.

“She’s 15. She’s the oldest in the Girl’s Division.”

“What’s she look like?”

“She’s tall…a little taller than me. Uh…she has long brown hair and her eyes change colours sometimes. She’s really skinny.”

“Sounds attractive.”

“Yeah…”

The moment suddenly got awkward, and the interest in Gerard’s admirer was slowly dissipating.

“I’m tired now.” Frank stated quietly.

“Me too.” Gerard began to sit up, but Frank’s hand shot up quickly to stop him. Gerard looked over, and it was then bright enough outside to allow him to see the barely visible pink tint in Frank’s cheeks.

“This is sort of embarrassing, but do you want to stay Gee? I mean, I used to sleep with a…a teddy bear that I’ve had for a really long time. It sort of got lost. I mean, you don’t have to; only if it’s not weird. Am I being weird? Oh shit, I mean I-”

Gerard laughed, “Calm down Frankie. I’ll stay if you want me too. I know how you feel…this stuffed lion that my mom left me got ripped up by Brady. Stuffed animals are comforting!”

Frank grinned, “Finally someone who thinks like me.”

Gerard settled back down into the bed, “The first thing that I’m doing when I leave this hell-hole is going to buy a stuffed lion. It’s kind of…what told me that my Mom wanted me but…couldn’t keep me.” His words lost their volume near the end, and he could feel his eyes begin to water.

“I’m sure she still loves you, Gee. Don’t go to sleep sad.”

“I can’t think of anything happy,” Frank could sense the sudden gloominess that coated Gerard’s words.

“I’ll tell you a joke…”

He got a small laugh to come from Gerard, “Jokes are lame.”

“This one involves a Lion.”

“Alright, fine.”

“What did Simba say when he was running away from the wildebeests!?” Frank’s voice sounded with enthusiasm. He waited for an attempt at guessing to come from Gerard, but his ears heard nothing.

“Gee? Aren’t you going to guess?”

“Uh…who’s Simba? And what the hell is a wildebeest?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I don’t know what I’m even supposed to be kidding you about!”

“They don’t show you The Lion King here?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Okay…the first thing that we’re going to do when we get out of this hell-hole is fucking watch The Lion King!”

“Okay…”

“I’ll tell you the joke when we’re done.”

“Okay…”

“Can you say something besides okay?”

“Alright.” Frank could sense the grin on Gerard’s face, and he slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

“Go to sleep.”

“Okay…”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Okay…”

Frank paused and started laughing, “Do you know what you just said?”

“No, what did I just say?”

“You just…you just agreed to…oh never mind.”

“Okay…”

“If you say okay one more time I’ll kick you in the face.”

“Try it!”

“Alright, after I sleep.”

“Alright.” Gerard chuckled and turned his back to Frank before leaning over and grabbing his pillow from the bottom bunk, “Goodnight Frankie. Thanks for making me happy.”

“Goodnight Gee. You’re welcome.”

“I just rhymed.”

“Goodnight!”

Both boys fell asleep with their mouths twisted into grins, their minds free of all torment, and both aware of the dependent feelings that they were developing for each other. Everything was peaceful as the early morning began its transformation into day.