Deception

Back at school, Lori and I ignore each other. Alex defends me, knowing the full story, while Jack attempts to mend our broken relationship. No amount of trash talk will settle her down, and no amount of mediation will persuade her. Lori writes nasty comments in the bathroom stall, attempting to erase all the crap about her. Sure, some people still take shots at my close relationship with Alex, but Lori's huge scandal is more interesting. Much more interesting. Although not everyone knows Zachary Merrick at Dulaney or the guy she "did it" with in the bathroom stall, more people know about Lori and what her favorite activity is.

At least, they know now.

At lunch, I sit with Jack, Alex, Miranda, and their good friends. Riley and Lori sit on the other side, leering at me. Obviously, Riley isn't over the whole "you're good friends with Alex Gaskarth and pals" thing. Riley's girlfriend, Valerie, waves, but her smile instantly turns into a glare after Riley whispers something into her ear. What a dumb girl. The sterling silver purity ring still shines on Riley's finger. Under the table, I see Valerie clinging to Riley's knee.

"So, I heard that Lori hasn't been a virgin since sophomore year. Is that true, Kaleb?" Kara asks, finishing her yogurt.

I shrug. What do I know about Lori, anyway?

"I really hope not, because Zack's not the type of guy to move that fast. You know what I mean?" Kara reaches out for my hand. "I think it was for the best that you two stopped being friends."

Zack is an uber Christian guy that will not let go of his values for "some girl". Unlike Riley's purity ring, Zack's actually stands for something.

I push the sandwich on my cardboard tray around, watching the dry pieces of turkey, American cheese, and lettuce fall out. Alex comfortably drops an arm around my shoulders. "I'm really not liking the whole glaring contest they've started. It's like they're trying to challenge us to a duel when there's nothing to fight about. Lori's actions are questionable. Riley has a thing for Kaleb. Valerie can't think on her own." He turns to me. "Why can't they just talk it out with you?"

Because that makes too much sense. Alex's simple solution is apparently too complicated for silly Lori and stupid Riley.

I fix my ponytail and stand up to throw away my lunch. Within seconds, Melanie, a redhead cheerleader decked out in her uniform, shoulders me, the cardboard tray smashing into my chest and smearing all over my blue classic Oxford shirt. The syrup from the canned mixed fruit drips onto my American Eagle jeans, the lettuce sliding down with the juice. "Oops," Melanie says, smirking. She flips her perfectly wavy hair to Alex, blows him a kiss, and struts back to her seat.

The entire cafeteria stares at me and my dirty shirt. After several seconds of silence, the surrounding tables burst out into laughter. Their giggles are contagious, spreading throughout the cafeteria, jumping from one table to the next. Only Alex's table of friends frowns as I sprint to the girls' bathroom. I sprint past the security guards, past the angry teachers, and finally, I reach the bathroom. I yank the door open and rush in, tears streaming down my chin. I can feel the embarrassment rise in my throat, sadness growing hot on my cheeks. The door opens again, and I hear the slow "click-click" of heels.

I try to hide my face behind the several pieces of paper towels, but my hiccups don't stop. "Hey," Miranda says softly, her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, Kales. I've got a sweatshirt in my hands. We can fix this." She smiles as I wipe the dark streams of mascara from my cheeks. I turn on the faucet, the water turning onyx as I cup water onto my face. Miranda hands me her emerald William and Mary sweatshirt after I ball up my Oxford shirt and toss it into a corner.

The two of us sit down across from the sinks and stare at the ground; we mutually understand the silence. Finally, Miranda stands up and sticks out a hand. "C'mon, enough of this sulking crap! You have to get out there and show them you're fearless!" she shouts, pushing the bathroom door open. "C'mon, Kaleb! Show those bitches who's boss."

It's definitely not me.

"C'mon, girl. You need some backbone," she says, eying the crowd outside the bathroom. Alex steps forward, his brow furrowed in concern. "It's time to grow up and show them that you're bigger than they are."

Alex links arms with me and steers me towards class. Jack and Miranda follow closely behind, scouting for dear Melanie. I look for her too in the sea of teens. Of course, she's nowhere to be found.

Alex and I enter BC Calc together, and I sit down, checking my phone for any messages. Nothing. I think about all the times Lori and I texted each other during class, how she caused me to lose my phone, how she told me Riley liked me.

Now, it's over.

I pull out Lori's book of notes, random words from Cosmo Girl, Teen Vogue, and Seventeen and pictures of sexy men taped onto the cover. Before I open it up, Alex squeezes my hand. "You miss her, don't you?" he asks softly, staring at the notebook. "Even after the stupid things she did and how unsafe they were, you still love her, don't you?"

I shove the notebook back into my dark blue Jansport backpack and take out the homework from a night ago.

"Hell no," I reply, flashing him a smile.

"Fuck no."