A Last Good Bye

Ch11
Karen

Teenagers are whiny, annoying, stubborn to the dark side, brats. They are worse than my son when it’s past his bedtime and he’s screaming that he isn’t tired. And Dilela was the worst brat I had ever come across.

I finally stalked back to my apartment, slamming the door, and looked around angrily. I was so mad I couldn’t stand to sit down. I just stared at the contents of our small living room, with the floor mostly clean, the slightly worn chairs, the comfy sofa, and the soft rose colored walls. It took quite a few minutes for me to calm down enough to be able to think. Yeah, I was ticked off and with good reason.

I eventually realized my son wasn’t there, which was a blessing. I couldn’t take another potentially annoying brat. I needed silence. I needed the ever lasting peace that the temple had more than enough to offer. I sank down to the floor and sat cross legged. Although I wasn’t much of a meditator, my son was better at it than me, I did sometimes meditate. This was one of those times. I relaxed my muscles and breathed slowly. I felt my body let go of the stress and anger that had gathered over the course of the day. I let go of all thoughts, letting them flow out of me as I breathed out. I opened the gates of my mind and soul to the tide of the Force, letting the calming waves wash on my shore and taking all the negative energy from me. I laid still and welcomed the warm glow of the Force, tanning my fair presence, imprinting wisdom into me. For a time, there was no time. There was no space. There was no temple, no son, or bratty students or even pestering masters. There was the Force.

I was awoken from my half sleep, trance-like state when the door announced someone was there. I got up slowly, finding myself physically more tired than I expected. It was close to the evening meal and I was acting like it was late at night. I cursed Dilela even more.

To my surprise it was Lyn. She came over with a cup of what looked like hot chocolate. I blushed deeply. Lyn only brings me hot chocolate when she knows I’m upset. She must have sensed it which meant I was really steaming. I wondered how many other people had noticed and not said anything.

“Are you going to stand there all day or am I going to be allowed in?”

I forced a laugh out, feeling the last of the anger leave as joy took its place. I was probably over-reacting. I stepped aside and let my best friend in. She took a seat on the couch and put the cup on the nearby table. I drew up a chair and grabbed the cup. It was extremely hot so I blew on it, looking at my friend.

Lyn finally got a master shortly after I came back to the temple pregnant. She was a very valuable friend during that rough time. She had managed to convince her master to let her stay and help me, especially as I came close to my due date and little things like walking, bending, putting on clothing and shoes, and looking down came to be hard or impossible. She was there during birth and she got to hold the baby after Mirmo and I had our chances. She was dragged away after that by her master, insisting she focus on her own training. Lyn was not happy at that decision, but I strongly encouraged her to start her real training. She had wanted a master for so long and was so obviously hurt that she didn’t have one when I got one so easily.

Lyn became a great knight. She was known for her good, though not the best, lightsaber skills. She had a commanding presence in the Force and would wield it with admirable skill. She was more ahead on healing techniques than I was and I was the one with a child. Her greatest skill came to be no surprise. She was a great negotiator. She had all the skills: Empathy, patience, a sternness that could not be ignored, and a feeling of reason with her. She had managed to overcome my stubbornness with my master and make me talk to him even when I had sworn I wouldn’t. She would stare at you with these eyes that were so strong that you had to turn away and do what she wanted. She had taken on stubborn kings when her master had failed. She had one slapped the president of an outer rim planet for insulting the Jedi and demanding that the president respect her. Amazingly enough, the president thanked her for that slap, saying it was the wake up call that he had needed for years.

Lyn was knighted the day after Tem started school with the other Force sensitive kids. She came to me crying and screaming in joy. I was so glad Tem was gone because Lyn wouldn’t calm down for half an hour. She spent the rest of the day just about skipping in joy. It’s a bit strange to see a twenty-eight year old woman hop around like a child on too much sugar.

Now Lyn was looking at me with those same eyes. I hastily took a large sip of the hot drink and squint my eyes when I felt my throat being scorched. I coughed several times and sucked colder air.

“Alright, talk. What happened between you and the new girl that got you so mad the whole temple is whispering their theories?”

I choked again on the drink. The whole temple felt my anger? Maybe Mirmo was right, I really do need to shield more.

“Yes the whole temple. Karen, you really need to work on those shields.”

I sighed and agreed with her.

“Now, what about that girl? What happened?”

I asked her if she really needs to be this stubborn.

“Someone has got to.”

I smiled and begin explaining the day to Lyn. Dilela got through her meditation session ok. We moved on to the Force. I thought she was ready. I wanted her to learn control of the Force and control of herself. Dilela wanted something else. She said she knew how to control the Force and that she didn’t need me telling her what to do. I decided that it would be a good time to break for lunch. I led her to the cafeteria and said I would be back in half an hour. I went back to the apartment to get some decent food and came back. To my surprise, she was standing at the door. I asked her if she had eaten. She gave me a look and asked me what we were going to do next. I decided to let my question go for now. I would have someone watch her eat at dinner. Instead of answering her, I turned around and started back to the training room. She quietly groaned to herself when she realized where she was going. I told her to stop it.

We sat down on the floor again. I went through a quick meditation with her. She was not happy about that, but she did it all the same. Then I worked with her to feel the Force. At first I had calmed her down and had naturally opened her mental barriers to the Force. I quietly instructed her to not resist the flow of the Force. Her connection was weak. I told her to fully open herself. She said she was open. I told her not to talk. Talking would distract her. She said she could talk and feel the Force. I told Dilela her connection to the Force was weak because of her talking. She said she didn’t need any more Force. She could use what she could feel. I told her she was angry and her anger was cutting her connection. This was true. I could feel it in the Force.

Her connection finally snapped and her patience and temper went with it. She stood up and started ranting. I didn’t bother to tell Lyn the details of the rant, but the words were harsh and harmful. I did not take the bait and yell or punish Dilela, but told her over and over to calm down. Eventually, my steady request worked. She ranted out her feelings and shut up. I waited some more until her breathing slowed down. I could tell the silence was killing her.

I told her she better go to her room and work on some reading I assigned her. It was on the history of the Jedi. She said nothing to me and I walked her back to her place. That is when I came back to my apartment and allowed myself some much needed venting.

Lyn listened to all of this, saying nothing and showing little on her face.

“Wow, she’s something alright. Well, she’ll calm down. You need to give her time. She’s grown up a lot like you and has some control over the Force. She doesn’t see why she needs more. She’ll come around. Just keep working with her. If you want, I’ll talk to her.”

I told Lyn not yet. Now that my anger had cooled down, I could see that Lyn was right. Dilela needed to be shown there were more uses to the Force than what she knew. Perhaps I needed to get to know her better.

“I bet you do. Meanwhile, go drink your hot chocolate quickly. I can feel your son bouncing all the way here.”

Sure enough, there was a ring at my door. I opened the door and was hugged by my son. At least someone wanted my love.