A Last Good Bye

Ch 4
Tem

I like to learn. Learning is fun. At least learning in my class is fun. Learning with Mom isn’t so fun. But I better not ever let Mom know that. She would get hurt.

Today we learned how to feel the Force in each other. But first we had to go through our exercises. Master Nuk says it’s very important we go through them. I like them. I think they are a lot of fun because Master Nuk makes them fun.

First we have to sit down and quiet our mouths. It was hard at first to sit still for so long. The only time I have to sit and not move is when Mom puts me in time out when I’m being bad. Master Nuk says this isn’t punishment, but a good thing.

Then we have to quiet our minds. Our teacher says our minds are very loud. We talk in our minds like we talk with our mouths. She says we can’t hear anything if we’re talking, so we have to be really quiet. So we have to make our mental voice be quiet too. This isn’t hard for me. Mom says she wishes she had it so easy. Mirmo says that Mom never did this as a kid and it’s harder when you’re older. I’m glad I’m doing this now!

Next we have to get rid of our emotions. At first I didn’t understand how we can get rid of our emotions. Our teacher says that our emotions are very loud like our voices. If we want to feel the Force, we can’t be feeling other things like fear or anger. So we have to let go of them. I don’t have any anger, except when Mom makes me sit in the corner. Sometimes I have fear. I fear storms that are really loud at night or when I can’t find Mom. But I’m happy the rest of the time. Mom says sometimes I’m too happy.

Master Nuk has a fun way of making our emotions go away. We close our eyes and breathe in and out slowly. Then she tells us to imagine a cloud sitting over our heads. The cloud is big and heavy. The cloud has all of our emotions, like the good and the bad ones. Then we let the cloud rain so the water runs through us and into the ground. The teacher says this is the cloud letting out the emotions in a good way. I always see the cloud crying. Mom says sometimes crying can get rid of our emotions. I think she’s right. I always feel better when I cry.

Now we can feel the Force! I like feeling the Force. It’s all warm and like a hug, only even better. I can’t get hugged all the time, but I can feel the Force a lot! Sometimes when I want a hug and no one can give me one; I’ll feel the Force and imagine the Force hugging me.

We have to open ourselves up to the Force. We have to imagine throwing out our arms and letting the Force come in. The first day we did this, our teacher had us throw out our arms so we know what to imagine.

We then feel the Force in our whole body. We have to feel it from our head to our fingers to our toes. I like the feeling of the Force in my toes. It tingles. One girl started crying when she did this. Master Nuk asked her what was wrong. The girl said she didn’t like the feeling. She couldn’t make the Force go away.

Master Nuk says we should never fear the Force or hate it. I don’t think I could do that. I asked mom why we would fear the Force. Mom says sometimes the Force can do scary things. I asked her what kind of scary things. Mom said I would find out when I’m older. I asked Mirmo. Mirmo lifted me up with the Force and said sometimes we can lose control of the Force. When that happens, bad things happen. He then let go of me and I fell on the couch. That wasn’t scary. That was fun.

Then we have to feel the Force outside of ourselves. Master Nuk brought in a bubble kit one day and let us make really big bubbles. It was a lot of fun to play with the bubbles. We had to clean up afterwards because we got all sticky.

She told us to imagine ourselves inside of the bubble. We were going to feel the Force inside of that bubble. That was fun. The Force feels different outside of us. It’s bigger and more of it. Mom says I’m right. There is more of it outside of us and it’s bigger.

Today we learned to make our bubbles bigger by imaging the sides of the bigger stretch. We made our bubbles so big that we bumped into each other and a lot of kids gasped. I didn’t. I was used to this feeling.

Mom and I bump our bubbles all the time. Mom calls this linking. Whenever I want to feel Mom, I can just make my bubble find her. I can feel Mom’s bubble bump back to tell me she knows I’m there. Mom doesn’t want me to let the kids know I can do this. Mom says that the kids will get jealous. So I didn’t know what to say when I was doing really good at this. Our teacher said that this was my special gift. We all have our own special gift and the other kids will find their own. I think the teacher was lying.

We practiced raining the Force through us again. The teacher let us have a snack break. Mom gave me blue milk and a cookie to eat for snack. The cookie was really good. The other kids got blue milk and crackers to eat. I traded part of my cookie for a cracker with a friend. My friend said the cookie was better than the cracker, but I don’t think so.

The next thing we did is lightsaber fighting. We’re learning how to move around with a stick in our hands. We learned how to hold the stick just like we would if it was a lightsaber. I wanted to swing my stick around and pretend I was fighting, but I know that is bad. One kid did that once and he wasn’t allowed to hold the stick for the rest of the class. He had to sit and watch us. Master Nuk says lightsabers aren’t a toy and our sticks aren’t toys either, so we can’t play with them. No one plays with their stick anymore.

We learned how to put our feet in a certain way. This is called a stance. We have to hold our sticks in the right way too. Every stance is different. Master Nuk gives each stance a number. Then she shows us what the stance looks like. We have to copy her and she fixes us if we don’t have it right. We went through five stances over and over. Then she called out a number and we have to get into the right stance. It’s hard keeping them straight.

It was lunch time after that. Mom was at the door when we were putting up everything. I wanted to run over her, but I had to finish up cleaning. When I was done, I went to Mom. She hugged me again and wouldn’t let me go even though I tried to get away. She held my hand all the way back to the apartment.

She made us lunch and we talked about our day. When I was done eating, I had to get out my school work. Mom has some books for me to work on. I have to do exercises out of the books.

We went over the old words from last week and then I learned how to spell five new words. The words were: grass, life, tree, sun, cloud. Mom had me draw a picture of each one. For life, I put me, because I’m life. Mom had me write down each word below the picture. Then we spelled the word out loud. Then Mom tested me on each one. I hate being tested. Mom makes me do it over and over until I get it right.

Mom was going to go to math, but Uncle Mirmo came over and told mom it was time for her new student. I was so happy. I hate math. It’s boring and hard. Then Mom told Uncle Mirmo to do math with me. I wasn’t so happy then. Mirmo said it would be fun. I wasn’t sure.

I hugged Mom before she went. I don’t mind hugging Mom if there are no boys around.

“Have a good night. Behave for Uncle Mirmo and take your bath like a good boy.”

I made a face. I hate baths. Mom frowned at me.

“May the Force be with you, Tem.”

Then Mom left.