I'm Not Okay Until I'm With You Again

Day of the Dance [Still]

The final bell rang, and I left the art studio with Gerard. We were going to go meet up with everyone else. As we walked down the hallways, we were hand in hand smiling endlessly.

"Are you excited for tonight?" I asked looking up at his gorgeous eyes.
"Of course princess. Are you?"
"Of course" I smiled
"Good 'cause I have a surprise for you." he chimed a toothy grin and a wink.

We walked a little more until we got to our lockers. Not all of ours were together so we usually met up at mine or Gerard's.

"Hey guys!" Mikey came up and hugged me.
"Hey Mikey" I giggled "Uhh, how much sugar did you have today?" I asked skepticaly.
"Too much" Bob suddely appeared smacking Mikey in the head. Mikey mouthed an "ow."
"You guys ready to go?" Ray asked.
"Yes ma'am" Gerard said smiling down at me.

We all walked through the back of the school and started to head to 'my' house.

The Ways' house wasn't that far away. Although we do take a long-cut because we don't want to run into any of the 'pops.' One time that had happened and some of us were bloody or just hurt emotionally, mostly crying from me. It wasn't that bad out. I mean for Jersey in the winter it wasn't that bad. We haven't even really had our first snow yet. Though, even if my hands got cold Gerard will keep me warm.

...

"God that was fucking brutal!" Frank sighed as he slumped into the large couch.
"Dude! It's only a mile to the house from the school, AND you were riding on Bob's shoulders the whole time!" I recalled.
"Yeah...but it's hotter up there! the sun..." he hissed like a vampire.
"Vampire" Gerard mumbled.
"HEY YOUR THE ONE WHO PUTS WHITE MAKEUP ON!" Frank retorted giggling.
"Douche, you promised you wouldn't tell anyone" Gerard mumbled starting to chase after Frank. Everyone began to laugh at the wild Frank hunt.

After that little fiasco the girls all stayed at the Ways' house and the boys went to Frank's house to go and get ready. We rented a limo 'cause we couldn't roll up in my 'nice' rusty van. However, I didn't mind it was Gerard's Idea, he wanted it to be the best night of my life.

"Hair time!" I said coming out of the bathroom with my dress on.
They all groaned monotonously. Let's just say no one was really over enthusiastic on looks..other than me.
"We still have to get our dresses on!" Bam said groaning "Why does this have to be a fucking formal dance? And why do we have to go!"
"Because" I paused "and Frank loves you" I said simply
She giggled at the mention of Frank's name.
"Alright bitches, get your dresses on stat!" I said pointing at them crossing my chest.

Gerard's Point of View

Tonight was the night. The night of my life. The night with my true love, my life, my soul. God, she was so perfect....and beautiful, and nice, and smart, and did I mention perfect? I was unbelievably nervous. I mean...what if I don't look good in my tux? What if I ramble and ramble on? What if I step on her when we're dancing!

"Come on gerard get your tux on!" Frank yelled at me. I was taken out of my daze.
"What? Oh, yeah... o-okay..." I sighed shakily.

I walked into the bathroom and pulled of my shirt. I then put on the buttoned up shirt. I looked at myslef in the mirror and sighed, straightening my collar. I fixed the buttons so they didn't show. Then I stripped of my skinny jeans and pulled up my fancy pants and buttoned them. I put my red tie on and pulled on my coat. I gave myself a final look and smiled happily, fixing my hair a bit. I began to pile on the eyeliner! My favorite part, ha.

"Gerard are you done yet! God, you take longer than a girl!" Ray knocked on the door.
"Yeah, hold on" I said before grabbing the black velvet box in my pocket.

Madi's Point of View

"Alright everone let's see how you all look" I said holding up mirrors.
'Oh my god!' and 'You look gorgeous' flew through there lips.
We all heard a honk from the driveway and we paused to look at the window. The boys were outside waiting in front of the limo. All of them looked stunning, and smiling ear to ear.

"Come on!" I said pulling them along.
I grabbed my clutch and we walked out the door. Everyone was standing outside waiting for their arms to be embraced with their dates. Except...Mikey...he was still in the limo.
I yelled and tried to run in my heels and almost tripped, but gerard caught my fall.

"Hey babe! Wow! You look beautiful" he gasped "As usual" he winked in a suave manor.
"You look pretty damn handsome yourself" I smiled. "Where's Mikey?" I asked.
"I think he's in the limo." He grinned "Come on." He grabbed my hand and I blushed slightly.
"Oh my god!" I gasped walked into the limo. There were streams of lights and plush leather seats.
"Hey Madi!" Mikey waved frantically. I laughed.
"Thanks Mikey we missed you too." Bam snapped fake angry.
"Hey...everyone else!" he smiled.

Everyone laughed and the driver sped up. We were all talking and laughing. I loved it, me and all my friends just having a good time, and going to have an even better time.

"Hey driver! Pump up the tunes back here!" Ray yelled to the cheuffer.
"Yes sir!" he smiled through the mirror.
We all sang along to the music and had some drinks.
"We are are, everyone" The driver said as I suddenly noticed the limo came to a hault.
"Yo, thanks man" Gerard said giving him a tip.
"No problem, thanks kid, have fun" he winked.

We all walked out and gave the guy our tickets. Luckily our school had enough funds to have the dance at a fancy hotel ballroom. I instantly heard loud rap music and hip-hop. I didn't prefer it much but it was easier to dance to then rock I guess..
"May I take this dance" Gerard gave a gesticulation and bowed.
"You may!" I said grabbing his hand.

I pulled him to the center and we both danced our hearts out. Everyone was around us and we were all dancing with each other in a big circle. Then a slow dance song came on and Gerard cleared his throat and gestured his hand.
"May I?" he asked
I just nodded sheepishly.
The song they were playing was "There for You" by Flyleaf...

He wrapped his arms around my waist and I put my head on his shoulder as we swayed...
the lyrics were so powerful.

I wanna be there for you
Someone you can come to
Runs deeper than my bones
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be there for you

I shed a sient tear and remembered the time Gerard promised me he'd always be there for me.
"I love you" I whispered in his ear, slightly whimpering.
"Forever and ever" He whispered back.
The song ended and we parted; he looked in my eyes.
"Do you wanna go out to get some air or something?" He asked concerned.
"Sure" I replied.

I waved to everyone else and we walked past the big secured doors. We walked to what I
was guessing was the courtyard for the hotel. There stood a vacant, beautiful garden with a fountain in the middle.

He pulled me over to the fountain and we sat down just staring into eachothers eyes until he broke the silence.

"Madi, you know I love you with all my heart, right?" he began.

"Yes, and I love you too" I smiled.

"Well I was, uh, just...thinking..." he trailed off and got down on one knee. "Madelyn, will you marry me?" he looked up to find an answer in my eyes as he shed a tear.

He almost cried, fainted and couldn't breathe at the same time.

"Gerard...we're...highchool...Mikey.....I don't know....we're...love..you....I c-can't do this" I sware I could have fainted.

I couldnt say no, I couldnt leave him, I couldnt say yes, were only in high school, I couldn't take this anymore, I had to leave I had to get out.

I took off my heals and ran as fast as I could, tears streaming down my fast rapidly. I didnt even look back. I couldn't see his face. It would just make it harder. I could hear his cries and his hurried footsteps.

I ran and ran and ran, my legs were gonna give out but I didn't care. I ran to the Ways' house. Luckily no one was home now. I ran to our room and I grabbed my bag and my stash of extra money I've been saving since i was 5. I quickly got a piece of paper. I wrote in scrabbily writing with tears dripping down...

Guys,
I'm sorry. I couldn't take it. Most of you probably already know what happened from Gerard. And I just wanted to say I love you and that you'll probably never see me again. I'm leaving, I don't know where but I am and I can't stand life without you guys, but I guess I'll have to. I love you all with all my hearts consent. Mikey, I hope you find the girl of your dreams some day and you become the kick ass famous bassist of My Chemical Romance. Frank, i hope you dont get expelled for one and i hope you get famous, and do me a favor and take care of Bam for me, make sure she doesnt get in too much trouble :] Ray, you have awesome hair, and it's always been fun playing with it, you are the best guitarist I know and I hope you all make it through and get signed. Bob, BOBERT MY MAN! I love you and I hope you keep banging those drums, AND my cousin, Emily ;). Gerard, I love you and I'm sorry I have to do this, I'll miss you forever and I'm sorry. I hope you guys make it big time and I'm sorry. I love you.
xoxo
Madi

And that was the hardest part. I was now crying hystericaly and there were smudges everywhere on the note from my tears. I wiped my makeup and called a cab. About 15 minutes later I heard the cab honk and I was afraid that Gerard had come. I hope he has the time of his life being a rockstar. I jumped in the cab.
"New york, pronto" I gasped
"Got it" he said then drove off very quickly.

Gerard's Point of View.

I just lost my love. I hope she's at home. I ran in and told everyone what happened. They were all shocked and we ran as fast as we all could to my house.

We finally got there and the door was wide open and I quickly ran inside.
"MADI?!" no answer. "MADI?!?!" I cried helplessly, no answer. Everyone split up and we searched the house.

"Did you find her?!" I asked franticly after they all came back.
"No" the all said, ashamed. I fell to my knees and began to cry silently.
"But i found this" said the voice i came to know well, my brother.

He set down something next to me, and I glanced up at it. I scanned through and read the signature and saw the name I loved, cherished, adored. Madi.
"Read it" Frank almost whispered
"Okay," I choked out "Guys, I'm sorry. I couldn't take it. Most of you probably already know what happened from Gerard. And I just wanted to say I love you and that you'll probably never see me again. I'm leaving,I don't know where but I am and I can't stand life without you guys, but I guess I'll have to. I love you all with all my hearts consent. Mikey, I hope you find the girl of your dreams some day and you become the kick ass famous bassist of my chemical romance. Frank, i hope you dont get expelled for one and i hope you get famous, and do me a favor and take care of Bam for me, make sure she doesnt get in too much trouble :] Ray, you have awesome hair, and it's always been fun playing with it, you are the best guitarist I know and I hope you all make it through and get signed. Bob, BOBERT MY MAN! I love you and I hope you keep banging those drums, AND my cousin, Emily. Gerard, i love you and i'm sorry i have to do this, ill miss you forever and I'm sorry. I hope you guys make it big time and I'm sorry. I love you.
'ex-oh-ex-oh', Madi"
I choked up, now I knew there were many tears streaming down my face and same with everyone else. I looked up at everyone with pleading eyes and all I saw were their red puffy eyes and sniffles.

She was gone.

The love of my life, gone.