Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

“Gerard, come on. Stop it. You’re over reacting.” I yelled as I watched Gerard pace back and forth in front of me.

“Over reacting? Over reacting?! This isn’t over reacting, this is over reacting!” he screamed. He kicked over the coffee table and various things went flying. He then walked over to the cabinet where our TV was held, opened it up and pushed the TV onto the floor.

I stood in shock, staring at the very expensive, and now broken, television.

“What the hell is your problem, Gerard?!” I yelled.

“What is your problem, Frank? Am I not good enough for you? Do you not love me anymore?” he looked at me, obviously holding back tears that threatened to fall.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

I didn’t know how to answer him. I didn‘t know anything anymore.

I walked over to him and tried to hug him.

“Get away from me!” he yelled and pushed me away.

He started to cry.

“Gerard…” I trailed off.

“Just…go away.” he said, hiding his face with his hands. He didn’t want me to see him cry.

“Fine.” I said.

I walked up stairs to my room and slammed the door.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I could hear him crying from my bedroom. I wanted to go comfort him, but at the same time I didn’t. So I sat on my bed listening to him crying, mentally debating on whether I should go to him or not.

I heard a choked sob and a couple hiccups and I decided to at least see if was ok.

I walked out of my bedroom and followed the sound of his crying.

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

He was standing on the balcony looking out. Our apartment was on the 7th floor so we had an amazing view.

“Gerard?” I walked out onto the balcony and stood with him.

He stood there completely silent staring out at the view. I looked closely at him and I could see he was still crying.

“Why?” he whispered. More to himself then to me I think.

I sighed.

“I..I don’t know why…” I said.

“You don’t know why!? How can you not know!? You should know why you cheated on me! Tell me why!” he screamed.

“Please stop yelling Gee…” I almost begged

“Go to hell.” he said.

I stared at him as he looked down at the city.

I wish I never slept with her. I wish I never hurt Gerard. But I did. And he needs to get over that.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

“Was she good? Was she better then me?” he asked bitterly.

I so did not want to talk about this.

“Gerard lets not start this. Lets talk about something else.” I said

“No. I wanna know. Tell me.” He said

“Gerard, come on. Lets no--”

He cut me off,

“No. Tell me dammit!” he screamed.

At that moment I was afraid. He was so angry. But instead of showing him I was scared I got mad, and used my anger instead of my fear.

“She was good! She was so good that she made me forget all about you!” I yelled, instantly regretting the words that came out of my mouth. They weren’t even true. Well mostly. I mean, she was good. But no one could make we forget about Gerard.

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I

He stared at me, completely shocked.

“Gerard I didn’t mean that.” I said.

He didn’t say anything he just stood there staring at me.

“Gerard I’m sorry.” I said

He look back down at the city.
“I knew this would happen someday.” he said with out looking at me.

“What?” I asked

“I knew my happy world would come crashing down.” he said

“Gerard…” I started to speak but I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“I knew you’d hurt me.” he said

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I

He turned around and looked at me. His back was to the railing.

“Come on, Gerard. Lets go inside. We can talk in there.” I said

He stared at me then smiled. I smiled back.

“I can’t do that Frankie.” he said, that smile never leaving his face.

My smile slipped of my face as I stared at him confused.

“You hurt me Frank.” he said

“I--” I started but he cut me off,

“Now it’s my turn to hurt you.” he said, he lefted himself up so he was sitting on the railing, his eyes never leaving mine.

My mind was racing and I had no clue what he was doing.

“I’ll always love you.“ he said. Then he leaned back and began to fall.

“Gerard! No!” I yelled.

I ran up to the railing and look down. I could only watch as he plummeted to his death.

And it was all my fault.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you