Rachie's Fantasy Island

"Oh my effing gorsh," T.R. said as he and Billie walked out onto the Rachie Golf Course.

"This is gonna be freaking awesome, yo!" Billie shouted at the top of his lungs, swinging the bag of golf clubs around.

"We'z gonna be better than all those professional golfers. Yow!" T exclaimed.

The once sunny sky suddenly turned cloudy and lightning bolts and thunder erupted.

T.R. started shaking in his spot, since he was absolutely terrified of thunderstorms.

"Never steal the Great and Almighty Rachie's word, dumbass!" Rachel's booming voice shouted from the Heavens, AKA: the real world, which was more like Hell than anything.

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes, m-ma'am," Teddydore trembled, shaking in his spot.

"...okie!"

The clouds unrolled and everything was sunny, the birds were chirping, and it was like nothing had ever happened.

"Aw, poor Theodore! I'll keep you calm," I said from the real world.

"Get back to writing, Leetrice!" Rachel shouted at me.

"Alright! Criminey!"

See, the reason why Billie Joe and T.R. were golfing was because they had just randomly decided that golfing would be a kickass hobby for them. So that's what they did. Cos they never made plans, cos then the Joker would mess around with their heads, and they were scared of the Joker.

"Why I'll be on this patch o' grass and clubs, I'ma be called Teezie Woods. Holla!" T exclaimed, taking a club out of the bag Billie was holding.

What was neat about these golf clubs was that they were black and had a red heart grenade at the end for the part you smack the balls with. Oh em gee, I want one of those, lol.

"Should we get a car thingy to ride around in?" Billie asked.

"Yeah! But we need a caddy." T pondered.

Sanjaya suddenly skip-de-looed over dressed in Scottish clothing, which consisted of a pink kilt with a pink sash, a pink Glengarry (for those of you who don't know much about the Scottish ish, it's a traditional Scottish hat. Duh, lol.)

"Oh my God, I'll be yo' caddy!" Sanjaya exclaimed in his usual pinched-ball voice. Not like he has any anyway!

"Yow!" T exclaimed, running off to find a golf cart.

"Why ain't chyooh wearin' a kilt, Billie?!" Sanjaya interrogated Billie, holding up a pink Hello Kitty flashlight.

"Cos, oh my God, I want the world to see my red flannel thong!" Billie pointed at it, showing off his true Scottish roots. And he really was Scottish, too! I know, cos I looked it up, lol.

"Stop blabbering, Leetrice," Rachie ordered.

"Can I just tell everyone what Billie's ethnic background is?!"

"...FINE! Make it snappy, yo. Teezie Woods is about to come back!"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEP

"...sorry about that, folks. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack," I said in a sheepish voice after passing out for a few minutes. "So, Billie is Scottish, Irish, Cherokee, which is Native American to you uneducated morons! European and Italian!"

"Italian pride! YOW!" Rachie exclaimed.

"Yeah, she's Italian. You just wish you were Italian like her."

"Duh. My great-grandpa, who we call 'nonno', was in the Italian mafia! Yow!"

T.R. returned with a golf cart that was so gay it could have been the leading float at the Gay Pride Parade 2009.

"Oh my God! Where did you find my wheels o' transportation?" Sanjaya exclaimed, jumping in the back of the cart.

The golf cart was rainbow and had frilly pink string thingies that you see on bicycle handlethings hung from the back, and there was a picture of Hello Kitty on the doors.

"In the parking lot. Get chyo' butts in here and let's get goin'! YOW!" Teddydore started the cart up as Billie got in and threw the bag of clubs in the back, smacking Sanjaya in the head with it.

"Oh my God, ow," Sanjaya said, rubbing his head.

T.R. sped off at one hundred miles per hour.

"AAAHH!" he screamed, trying to slow down.

"Wheeeee! Sedjedo! Douchye' bah, do'h, do'h, do'h! Sedjedoooo!" Sanjaya sang, enjoying the ride.

Billie was passed out cos he was still slightly drunk from the night before.

They pulled over at hole seven, cos there were only three holes at the Rachie Golf Course, and they were seven, two and three. Seven was first, then two and three, cos that made 723, lol.

"Billie, go stand by the hole, lawl," Teezie Woods said, putting the ball on the put.

Billie scratched his ass and ran about thirty yards away where the hole was, cos Rachie liked to watch people lose the game cos she was a golf pro. Well, not really, just in Rachie's Fantasy Island! Yow!

"ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HIT IT NOW!" T.R. shouted, winding his club up.

He spun it around in circles before smacking the ball really hard. It literally flew up in the air and went the speed of light, so it ended up near the hole in about 0.00000009 seconds.

Unfortunately, it ended up smacking Billie in the head.

Which it was only a tap on the head and it landed in the hole.

"OW!" Billie shouted, rubbing his big fat head. "DAMN IT, T.R.!" he shouted.

T.R. ran over to him and stared down in the hole, thrilled that he got a hole in one.

"Yow!" he exclaimed, jumping up in the air and clicking his heels together.

"You hit me in the head, dumbass!" Billie shouted.

"Whoops?" T grinned innocently.

"I am SO gonna get you back!" Billied glared at him. "Wait until I get my vendetta..."

"Ohh, la cucaracha!" T exclaimed, dancing around like Lucy did in that one episode where she turned the house Cuban-style for Ricky.

"You're dumbass," Billie grumbled, walking off.

Sanjaya had been standing off to the side, picking his nose the entire time.

A few days had passed on Rachsteria Lane and the Internet had gone down while T was trying to get on the computer to visit the Curious George website, cos T.R. liked Curious George a lot. But the server was down because the WWW (Willy Wonka Workers) were trying to fix a kink in the power lines.

"Ohh, kinkeh," Teddydore said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ohh, baby," I said like Cisco McCarthy.

"Oh God," Rachel said in a disgusted voice.

"Shut up, Rachie! I can't help that he's got thoughts."

"Gross..." she muttered.

See, the Internet on Rachie's Fantasy Island was provided by the Willy Wonka Workers, which was what "WWW" stood for. They all worked pretty hard and kept the Internet going right, but sometimes Rachel got bored and liked to make the Internet go down to piss everyone off because it amused her.

"Hurry up, you piece of ish!" T exclaimed, smacking his computer moniter.

Out of nowhere, one of the WWW popped out of the moniter, holding a giant mallet, and smacked T.R. on the head with it, then went back into the moniter.

"Ow!" T exclaimed, seeing birds fly around his head. "Oh my God, Tweety!" He passed out.

Through the speakers on the computer, you could hear a quiet snicker of the WWW...

Like, eight hours later T.R. woke up, cos he went into a temporary coma. All that time he had been passed out in front of the computer, the Internet had been fixed and the Paula Deen website was up cos Billie needed a recipe for a pecan pie for his vendetta.

T.R. slowly opened his eyes and yawned, then stood up and stretched, scratched his ass, then went into the kitchen.

"Sup, yo?" T yawned.

"Hiiii, Teddybear!" Manhuahua exclaimed, walking in behind him with thirty hairbows in his head.

"Oh God, I must be having a nightmare..." T muttered.

"Uh, uh, uh, feed it to me, T.R.! YOW!" Mark exclaimed, humping T.R.

A lightning bolt suddenly flashed and struck Mark. He turned black and crumbled to a pile of dust on the floor. His hair bows were unharmed, cos they were actually Rachel's.

"Damn chihuahua," Rachel muttered, making her hairbows levitate into thin air. A portal appeared and the hair bows flew through it and went back into the real world. The portal closed.

T.R. had not been paying attention at all since he was staring at a pie Billie had left sitting on the counter.

"Oh my God, is that apple pie?" He walked over to it.

"Nope," Billie said, walking in from the Love Chamber. "It's pecan! Ya wanna piece?" He smiled.

"Sure!" Teddydore exclaimed happily, taking a seat at the table.

"Comin' right up! Ya want any whipped cream on that?"

"Yeah! What's pie without whipped cream, el oh el?"

"It's a hunk of crust with sticky shit, yo!"

"Holla!"

Billie grabbed the can of Reddi Whip out of the fridge, then grabbed the pie and snuck up behind T.

"I'm really sorry about what happened earlier, Billie," T apologized like a good boy, lifting up a perfectly polished fork. "I didn't mean to smack your mongoloid head with that ball.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Billie said, quietly creeping up behind him.

"No, really, it's ju--"

T was cut off by Billie smashing the pie really hard into his head.

"Here's your whipped cream!" Billie sprayed whipped cream on his head and grinned.

"Damn it, Billie Joe!" T exclaimed, wiping the pie off of his face.

Corbin Bleu suddenly popped up out of nowhere.

"I'll clean ya up!" Corbin exclaimed. "YOW!" His 'fro suddenly grew thirty inches and he started wiping T off with it. "Need ya ears cleaned, too?!"

"Yeah, I could use them cleaned out," T said thoughtfully.

Corbin shoved his afro in T's ears and cleaned them out.

"There ya go! Yow!" Corbin's hair went back to it's normal sized fro before disappearing.

"Thanks, yo!" T exclaimed, staring at the sack of potatoes Corbin had cleaned out of his ears.

"Holla!" Corbin's voice echoed.

T.R. and Billie Joe had eventually forgiven each other for their shenanigans and went on with their friendship, being so close it was almost gay. And the manhuahua had sadly came back to normal human form to annoy and molest everyone on the Island.