Every Mistake That I Make

The rest of the day, for Dallas, was extremely uneventful. She spent a good half hour in her bathroom, touching and pulling at the skin around where Mikey had hit her. She made herself something to eat, attempted to watch a little telly, but gave up on that and trailed upstairs. Dallas fell asleep lying diagonally across her bed. She knew she wouldn’t be disturbed until at least half-seven that night, because her mum, brother and sister were going to visit her grandmother in her nursing home. Dallas highly doubted she’d stay asleep till then, though.

When she did wake up, however, she felt her face throbbing and her mind felt oddly disorientated, as it often did when she fell asleep during the day. Dallas struggled off the bed and stumbled to her dressing table, collapsing onto the stool in front of it and looking at herself in the mirror. Her reflection stared back; she looked oddly hostile, with a red cheek that was beginning to bruise, her hair sticking up all over the place.

She buried her face in her hands. This was all just such a mess.

Just as she thought this, the phone rang, piercing the silence around Dallas. She leapt up off the stool and hurried downstairs, snatching the phone out of the cradle before it could stop ringing.

“Hello?”

“Dallas...” It was Gerard. “Dallas? Are you okay? Is this Dallas?”

“This is Dallas,” she answered softly, sitting on the third step of the stairs. “I’m fine.”

“You took off so quickly,” Gerard said. “The teacher’s are a bit mad. Mikey’s got a detention.” Dallas looked for the clock. When she found it, she knew they’d all be out of school and at home by now.

“I’ve been trying to call you since you ran off,” Gerard told her.

“Really? I’ve been asleep.”

Gerard made a soft sighing noise, and then, “are you sure you’re okay? Anya’s really worried...We all are.”

“Is Anya there?”

“No.”

“I’m fine. Ring her and tell her I am,” Dallas informed him. “I’m not in the mood for talking right now...” A wave of sadness overwhelmed Dallas very suddenly, making her bit her lip and curl her fingers into fists.

“Do you want me to come over?” Gerard offered. Dallas shook her head then realised Gerard couldn’t see her.

“No, it’s okay...I need some time alone...” She knew that wouldn’t convince him.

“Well...okay...” She’d been right; he wasn’t convinced.

“Did you say Mikey got a det...”

“Yeah, he did. He’s a bit pissed off.”

“At me?” Dallas leant against the wall, feeling tears prick at her eyes and her voice crack.

“No! No, I don’t think so. I think he’s pissed at himself...I know I would be...I know I’m pissed at myself. We shouldn’t have fought. It was stupid.” She heard Gerard sigh and sighed herself.

“I just can’t believe he did it,” she found herself whispering down the phone. “I’ve been trying to convince myself for so long that he’s okay, he’s a good guy, and I still think he is, but I don’t know if I can...” Dallas stopped herself, then continued. “He didn’t mean to hit me...right?”

“Right.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.”

Once the simple statement was out, Dallas regretted saying it instantly.

“What do you mean?” Gerard asked curiously.

“Nothing,” Dallas clammed up immediately. “I have to go.” She hung up before he could say anything that would stop her and then wandered through to the living room, fighting some tears that threatened...she finally let them out after collapsing on the sofa. Her head hurt and her throat ached. All she wanted was to just forget everything that was going on around her. She just wanted to think that her life was fine, even though it wasn’t...

Her eyes travelled around the room and landed on her mother’s drinks cabinet.