Knowing
Strong Girl
I looked at him pleading with my dull eyes, pleading for him to not go; he'll never know why I beg so.
"Why do you want me to stay so bad!?" he questions my reasons I want to tell him I do.. Instead I ignore so I don't have to lie.
" I mean Kane is still here." I mentally hurl at the name.
"Come on babe." he continues
"Don't make me feel guilty , you know I don't want to go...but i have to"
I look up and stare into his eyes.
So full of love, loyalty and joy. There like a childs, so full of life and oh so bright.
But some where in there is all the pain, it's there I know it is, it's just hidden is all.
I wonder what he thinks when he looks into my , dull, lifeless eyes.
How he manages to stare at my ugly for so long I don't understand.
I Avert my eyes saving him from having to look at the pathetic person before him , and to safe myself from getting caught up in his immense beauty.
"Babe look at me please I wanna gaze at your beauty."
"I won't look at you because I'm not beauty therefor no beauty to gaze at and don't call me fuckin' beautiful if you know I'm not, I thought i was good enough to not be lied to!" I yell annoyed with his lies.
"Fine fuck it I don't have time for this I'm going!" He snaps back
"Don't swear at me!" I say hurt as he stomps out the door , each footstep taken rips me apart and the last slam of the door make me physically sick.
I stand staring at the door replaying it over and over.
My Horror movie disrupted by another.....Kane.
I feel his dirty hands snake around my waist. I freeze. I don't turn around know that seeing his face will only make this evan more painful.
His hands slowly make there way up my shirt, I do nothing.
He begins kissing my neck , the smell of alchole and stale food attaches to me. It's HIS scent, my fear. It's the scent of my ever reoccuring nightmares , then the sound , the sound of them...his voice his dirty lips attaching to my skin.
It's almost unbearable.
But I must be strong for Arthy boy , I'm his strong girl. I Must take the pain and not allow it to bother me
Baby , your the strongest person I know, such a strong beautiful gorgeous little girl, my strong girl
I replay him saying that to me in my mind.
I use it to get through this, knowing that I need to be strong for him and it causes me to be.
"Why do you want me to stay so bad!?" he questions my reasons I want to tell him I do.. Instead I ignore so I don't have to lie.
" I mean Kane is still here." I mentally hurl at the name.
"Come on babe." he continues
"Don't make me feel guilty , you know I don't want to go...but i have to"
I look up and stare into his eyes.
So full of love, loyalty and joy. There like a childs, so full of life and oh so bright.
But some where in there is all the pain, it's there I know it is, it's just hidden is all.
I wonder what he thinks when he looks into my , dull, lifeless eyes.
How he manages to stare at my ugly for so long I don't understand.
I Avert my eyes saving him from having to look at the pathetic person before him , and to safe myself from getting caught up in his immense beauty.
"Babe look at me please I wanna gaze at your beauty."
"I won't look at you because I'm not beauty therefor no beauty to gaze at and don't call me fuckin' beautiful if you know I'm not, I thought i was good enough to not be lied to!" I yell annoyed with his lies.
"Fine fuck it I don't have time for this I'm going!" He snaps back
"Don't swear at me!" I say hurt as he stomps out the door , each footstep taken rips me apart and the last slam of the door make me physically sick.
I stand staring at the door replaying it over and over.
My Horror movie disrupted by another.....Kane.
I feel his dirty hands snake around my waist. I freeze. I don't turn around know that seeing his face will only make this evan more painful.
His hands slowly make there way up my shirt, I do nothing.
He begins kissing my neck , the smell of alchole and stale food attaches to me. It's HIS scent, my fear. It's the scent of my ever reoccuring nightmares , then the sound , the sound of them...his voice his dirty lips attaching to my skin.
It's almost unbearable.
But I must be strong for Arthy boy , I'm his strong girl. I Must take the pain and not allow it to bother me
Baby , your the strongest person I know, such a strong beautiful gorgeous little girl, my strong girl
I replay him saying that to me in my mind.
I use it to get through this, knowing that I need to be strong for him and it causes me to be.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hmm any opiniative comments for a little hepl would be appreciate thank you ^_^