Lost ... Without You

"Josie?"I heard somebody call out to me. I whimpered and tried to push their arm away.

"Josie?"they called out again, more urgently this time.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to escape it, so I opened my eyes.

"What?"I asked, and saw Brian hovering on top of me.

"Today's the day,"I heard him say rather nervously.

I squinted and looked at him. Last day? "Please tell me it ain't today."

He smiled somewhat sadly. "I'm afraid it is."

I closed my eyes and murmured a prayer. I felt Brian's lips pressing gently onto mine as he laid on top of me.

"I'm so sorry,"he murmured as his hands traveled under my shirt.

They took a tour underneath my shirt and began to massage my sides. I knew he felt my quiver against his touch, but I couldn't help it. The more he touched me, the more I craved.

"Brian,"I whimpered.

"Mm?"he asked, trailing kisses down my neck.

He began to suck on that sweet spot and licked it a few times, causing soft moans to erupt from the pit of my stomach as a fire grew stronger inside.

His lips found their way up to my lips and he sucked on them gently.

"I'm going to miss you,"he muttered.

At that, I pushed him away and turned my face away, closing my eyes quickly. I felt him rise up a bit from surprise, but then I felt his hand touching my face. I felt his hand turn my face around and I closed my eyes tighter, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Josie,"he begged lightly. he rubbed his nose against my neck but I wouldn't give. "Josie please,"he pleaded.

I opened my eyes and felt them grow watery. "Brian,"I whispered out, trying beyond my might not to cry. I had a knot in my throat, but I couldn't cry. I knew I was giving him a hard time, but I couldn't help it. I just didn't want him to leave.

There was a small knock on the door and Brian quickly got off me. I wiped my eyes and wrapped the sheets around my body.

The door opened and in toddled Maddy. "Mommy? Daddy?"she said softly.

Brian got out of bed and went over to her. He bent down and gathered her in his arms. He picked her up and brought her over to our bed. There, he laid her down next to me and seconds later, he came in beside her.

She crawled over to me and put her head down against my lap. "What's wrong Maddy?"

She shook her head and Brian leaned in closer to her. He raised up her shirt a bit and blew on her tummy. That set her off and she began to giggle. She tried to push him away but didn't succeed.

"Daddy!"

He laughed and looked up at me. His smile faltered a bit. "I better get ready."

I sighed and nodded. "I'll help."

"Where you going?"Maddy asked Brian, sucking on her thumb.

He looked at me before directing his answer to her. "Daddy has to go away for a bit, but I'll be back soon,"he said, smiling and bending down to kiss the top of her head.

She just looked at him and closed her eyes. "Bye-bye daddy,"she said, waving her small hand at him.

- - - - -

I watched as Brian put his suitcase inside the bus. Val and Matt were talking to the driver and the rest of the guys were off with their girls. They didn't seem to shed tears seeing as how they were used to it, but I wasn't.

"It'll be okay,"I heard Gina tell me as we watched Jimmy walk by with his suitcase in hand.

"She's right. Just wait and you'll see, nothing's gonna happen,"he assured as he headed into the bus.

"All set?"Matt called out as everybody gathered around the entrance to the bus.

I was carrying Maddy and she just looked at everybody with curiosity. "Where they going?"she asked, pointing at Val as she walked over to her.

"We're going on a a little trip. But we'll be back, you'll see!"she chuckled as she blew onto Maddy's tummy. "I'm gonna miss you Maddy."

Slowly, one by one, everybody came to say their tearful good byes.

"Daddy,"Maddy said softly. She held out her arms and he reached for her.

"I'm gonna miss you, baby,"he said as he kissed her cheek.

She nodded and hid her face against his neck.

"Take care of her, yeah?"he asked, looking at me with a smile. "We'll be back in about two months, but I promise I'll call everyday."

I smiled and took Maddy from him. "Yeah, okay, good luck and have fun."

I smiled and waved as he got onto the bus. The door closed behind him and in a few moments, the bus roared with its engine. It backed out of the drive way and Maddy and I watched as the bus left the drive way. I could see everybody inside waving and I waved back.

"Look, there's daddy,"I whispered out to Maddy as I saw Brian waving to us. Once she spotted him, her face lit up and she began to wave. "Bye daddy!"she called out.

A few minutes later, the bus left out view and Maddy and I were left standing on the empty drive way.

"Come on, Josie, it'll be okay, watch,"Gina said as she put her arm around me and steered me back to the cars. "In a few months, they'll return and it'll be all good again."