I Never Told You What I Did for a Living

The ride was quiet and awkward. I hadn't seen this man in four years, what could we possibly have to talk about? He must have known that I hated him. How could he be so delusional to believe that we were okay?

I was shocked at how close he lived. His house was only about an hour away, and it was amazing that I hadn't run into him at least once before. When I finally spoke, it was to ask a question that had been eating away at me since I'd seen him on my couch.

"So you and Mom have been keeping in touch over the years?"

He turned to me, surprised that I was talking. "Yes. I wanted to keep in touch with you, too, but she was determined that you were better off without me."

"Then why come back now?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

"No. I want to know. I'm entitled to some answers."

"Your mother's worried, Lily. She decided that some time away from school and your peers would be beneficial."

"So why did she send me to you?"

"You need a father figure in your life. It might as well actually be your father."

I turned my gaze back to the window, watching the world pass me by. When the car finally stopped, I took my suitcase and went into the small house.

"You can stay in the guest room," he gestured to a small bedroom off the entryway.

I threw my bag onto the bed and shut the door. I had to stay true to my promise, so I pulled out my phone.

"I made it here," I explained as soon as I heard Gerard pick up.

"Where are you, exactly?"

"The middle of fucking nowhere. I don't think I'll survive here. I'm on a farm, and the only person for miles around is my dad."

"You'll be fine. Just serve your time like a good little prisoner and you'll be back here with me before you know it."

I laughed. "I'm really beginning to like the inmate analogy. Can't Mikey just come and get me?"

"I'm not about to mess with your dad, Lily. I know how fathers get when they're protecting their daughters. But that doesn't mean I want you to stop calling. I want to hear how you're doing, okay? If anything happens, I'll be there in a heartbeat to bring you home."

"Then why not come get me now?" I whined.

"Hang in there, babe. You'll make it through."

A few minutes later, I dared to exit the bedroom. I'd been in the house a total of ten minutes, and I already knew that the room would be my sanctuary. I would probably spend the majority of my time locked away in there.

"So, your turn. Tell me what made your mother so upset that she resorted to calling me," Dad tried to strike up a conversation as I entered the kitchen.

"I ran away."

"Why? She provides a fairly good life, doesn't she?"

"She doesn't understand me. So here's a warning for you: I may run away if you try to figure me out."

"You won't get very far out here."

"I'll try either way."

"Best of luck to you, then."

I couldn't hide my surprise. He wasn't going to try to stop me? No wonder Mom didn't want him around me. He was as bad of a parent as she was.

"I missed you, Lily," he spoke softly, and I almost didn't hear him.

"I sure as hell don't miss you and Mom fighting," I replied. I couldn't honestly say that I'd missed him, and for some reason I didn't want to lie to him. It was obvious that he was trying, and I didn't want him to know that it wasn't working.

"I don't miss that, either. But you've got to understand how hard it was for me to let you go."

"It didn't seem that hard."

"Don't be that way. It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. I missed so much."

"So did I," I shot back, knowing that my words would hurt him.

He nodded slowly. "I think it's time that we got to know each other again."

"I think it might be too late."

His eyes were full of sorrow, and I knew that he wanted to make things right. "I can never make up for lost time, Lily, but we can start over. I want to be your Dad again. I want you to trust me again."

"I want that, too, Dad," I couldn't help but crumble at the remorse in his tone. "It's going to take time, though."

"We've got nothing but time."

"I've got a life that I want to get back to. I can't stay here forever. My boyfriend will come looking for me if I don't go home eventually."

"And who's the lucky boy?"

"It doesn't matter. Mom doesn't want me to be with him."

"He's a bad seed?"

I laughed. "Far from it, actually. I just spend too much time with him and Mom wants me to play the field."

"You can never spend too much time with someone if you really care about them."

Once again, my shock was evident. Was it possible that Dad was really understanding where I was coming from? I couldn't believe that I had hated him for so long, only to find that he wasn't that bad after all.

Maybe living with Dad wouldn't be quite the torture I'd thought.