I Never Told You What I Did for a Living

I woke up much too early the next morning. The apartment was silent as I slipped from Gerard's room and sat down on the couch. I looked around, trying to commit every detail flawlessly to my memory. I studied the shelves that lined one wall, and each item contained there. I didn't know when I would be back, and I didn't want to forget anything. I picked up a picture of Gerard and Mikey. They looked so happy. Another picture caught my eye, and I smiled when I looked at it. It was of Gerard and I, and it had been taken when I had lived with him.

"Hey, I took that."

I jumped in alarm as Mikey brought me out of my trance. He laughed as I set the picture carefully back on the shelf.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"Yeah, right. That explains why you snuck up on me."

"You're a little tense today. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just don't want to leave."

"Gerard's going to mope around for a few days after you go. That's what happened last time. I had to leave at night because he was pulling me down with him," there was a soft smile on his lips.

"That doesn't make me feel better. I don't want him to be like that. And I don't want you to get upset, either."

"We'll see you more often now, don't worry. That's the purpose of taking you home."

"I wish I could just stay here. It would be better for everyone, if you think about it."

He shook his head, still smiling. "While you can, you've got to live a normal life."

"What do you mean, 'while I can'?"

"As soon as you're done school I know you'll move in here and get all fucked up like us."

"Maybe that's what I want."

"Eventually you'll get what you want, then. Just not yet."

"Okay, I guess I can deal with that. As long as it happens."

"It'll happen, Lily. I can tell when you two are together that it's going to last."

I smirked. "Thanks."

Once Gerard was awake, I started to get my things together. My stomach squirmed in protest as I hauled my bag out to the car. I didn't want to leave.

I called my dad quickly to let him know that we were leaving soon, and Mikey and Gerard came outside.

"Shotgun!" I yelled as Mikey reached for the door handle.

"Fuck," he muttered, moving aside and getting into the backseat.

I slid into the passenger seat as Gerard started the engine. I gave him directions and watched as the familiar city sights flew by. Gerard played with the dials on the radio, eventually giving up and putting in a CD.

"Sound familiar?" he grinned.

Instantly, I recognized what was playing. It was the same Smashing Pumpkins CD that we'd listened to that day we ran into each other at the grocery store. I smiled and began to sing along to "Today." Gerard joined in after a few moments.

"You guys are crazy," Mikey muttered.

"Nope, just happy," I replied.

We spent the rest of the ride talking about random things that we found interesting, like movies and TV shows. The conversation drifted to my new school after awhile.

"So far I've only met one group of people that I actually like. Before them, it was always suck ups and nerds that wanted my attention. I've already made an enemy in one of my teachers, and probably by now this kid named Ben. I kind of ditched him for the new group I'm hanging out with."

"But the important thing is that you've found friends," Gerard commented after I'd finished my summary of the school. "I really didn't have many of them in high school."

"This is the most friends I've ever had at once," I admitted. "Nobody liked me at my old school. It's wierd having people that want to hang out with me."

"Well, now you know what it's like to be as cool as me," Mikey teased.

I turned in my seat and punched him playfully. "I'm way cooler than you."

We all laughed as the car pulled into my driveway. I got out and threw my bag over my shoulder.

"You coming?" I leaned back into the open doorway to talk to the guys.

"Umm... I don't think so."

"You're staying for dinner," I informed them.

"We're kind of out of place," Mikey mumbled.

"Get out of the car!" I yelled, making them jump. I smiled pleasantly as they climbed out and walked with me to the house. Gerard slid an arm around my waist and pulled me close as we went through the door.

I let my dad know we were there, then gave the guys a short tour of the house.

"And this is the best room in the whole house: my room."

"Wow, you've got a shitload of posters," Mikey noted.

"White walls bore me."

We sat in my room for awhile, listening to my CDs and talking. It wasn't long before dinner was ready and we went to the dining room. Dad was quiet throughout the meal, and immediately afterwards I went to wash the dishes. I could hear quiet talking from the dining room, and I was happy that they were continuing to be civil.

When I returned, I could already feel some form of tension spreading.

"Lily, we've got to go," Gerard, who was already standing,said.

Mikey stood, too, and the two of them headed for the door. I ran after them.

"What happened?"

Gerard kissed me softly. "I'll call you when we get home, okay?"

Without another word, they left. I went back to the dining room and found my father looking pleased.

"What the fuck did you say to make them leave like that?"