I Never Told You What I Did for a Living

I sat in the back row in my first class, and it wasn't long before the room filled up. None of my new friends were in this class, and I felt alone. It didn't help that when I looked up I saw both Carrie and Ben glaring at me from the front row.

I found myself doodling absently on my notebook, not paying any attention to the class going on around me. I was slightly shocked when I heard the bell ring, and realized that I hadn't heard a word that was said.

"Nice sketches," Angela nodded at my notebook when I met up with her in the hallway.

"Thanks," I replied, slightly embarassed.

"So, about Josh," she began, sounding a little nervous.

"It's okay. He didn't know about Gerard. I don't hold it against him."

"Good," she seemed relieved. "I know what that's like."

"Having Josh like you?"

She laughed. "No. I mean, moving here and leaving your boyfriend behind. When we came here I was so crazy about him. He was amazing."

"What happened?"

"We tried the long distance thing for awhile. He called me every night, and we kept it going for as long as we could. Eventually it just got to the point where we wanted to be around people that we could see every day. We just sort of grew apart. We couldn't follow what was going on in each others' lives, and it got too hard. I wanted to be with him, but we just couldn't seem to make it work."

I felt worry growing in the pit of my stomach, spreading through me like venom in my bloodstream. "Do you think that'll happen to us?" I whispered.

Angela's eyes widened. "Lily, I didn't mean it like that, I swear. I was just telling you what happened to me. You live a lot closer to your boyfriend than I did to mine. You can see him all the time if you want to. It won't happen to you."

"But I can't see him. My dad just said some really shitty things to Gerard, and I don't think he'll let me go and see him anytime soon."

"You guys'll get through this," she attempted to comfort me. "Forget I said anything."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Did you love him?"

She looked down and didn't speak for a long moment. "I think a part of me still does," she admitted, pain pouring from her words.

"Why don't you call him?"

She looked up, and stared at me, terrified. "Why would I do that?"

"Maybe he feels the same way."

"He doesn't."

"But how do you know?"

"Because when we broke up," she paused and took a deep breath. "He said that there was someone else."

"Sorry," I mumbled, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Believe me, if I thought there was any chance, I would have talked to him a long time ago. I really miss him," she whispered the last part, and I felt my heart go out to her. She seemed so tough and strong, it was scary to see her falling apart. I thought I heard her sniff back tears, but she was quickly composing her facial expression. I watched as she returned to the serene, reserved girl that I had first seen in the cafeteria. I made a mental note to talk to Kevin about this ex-boyfriend that had caused Angela so much pain.

The bell rang and interrupted our conversation.

"I guess we should go to class," she mumbled, grabbing her books.

I nodded and did the same. I was glad that we'd had this talk. It had let me see a new side of Angela. It made me feel closer to her. As we walked to our next class, I realized that over the past few days, I had come to consider her as my best friend. She was definitely a better friend than anyone else I knew, including Jill. For some reason, the thought of that comforted me. I knew that I could turn to her if I needed to talk. Something told me that I was going to need her for just that reason a lot more than I'd ever needed anyone else.