I Never Told You What I Did for a Living

We burst through the emergency room doors and I raced to the front desk.

"How can I help you?" the thin brunette seated there asked pleasantly. She was much too calm. I knew it was her job to stay calm, but I didn't think this was the time or place for her serene demeanor.

"Can you tell me where-"

"Lily?"

I spun around at the sound of my name. Dad was hurrying down the corridor, his arms held out to me. I rushed towards him, allowing him to hug me for the first time since I was a child. It was such a simple gesture, yet it was like passing a milestone. Why was it that it took tragedy for me to let people in?

"Can I see her?"

He nodded and led me to the door of her hospital room. "But before you go in, you should know-"

I pushed my way into the room, ignoring whatever advice my father was trying to give me. The clean, sterile smell flowed through my nose and attacked all of my senses. I was suddenly more alert, more aware of the scene around me.

The room was decorated in pale blue, with floral trim running across the walls along the ceiling. It was divided by a thin, off-white curtain, which had been drawn to hide a second, unoccupied bed. As much as I tried to avoid it, my eyes were eventually drawn to the only person in the room besides myself.

I crept up beside her bed, staring at the wires and tubes protruding from her arms and nose. I sat in the chair that had already been pulled to her side, and slipped my hand into hers.

"What have they done to you, Mom?" I whispered faintly.

Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of my voice, and it took a moment for them to focus on me. She stared for a long moment before pulling her hand away.

"Who are you?" her eyes were wild in terror.

"Mom, it's me, Lily," it frightened me to see her like this.

"Lily? I don't know a Lily. And I definitely don't have any kids."

I felt as though she'd just slapped me. "I know I haven't been the best daughter, but you can't just disown me. I'm here for you."

She shook her head defiantly. "I don't have a daughter. I want you to leave."

"But-"

"If you don't get out of here in five seconds, I'm going to start yelling for help," she threatened.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I nodded and left her. When I had stepped back into the hallway, Dad was instantly by my side.

"What happened to her?"

"After you left, your mother started getting severe headaches. This morning, her sister was visiting her and she just collapsed. She's got a tumor on her brain, and it's left her with acute amnesia," he explained, trying to soften the blow with his gentle tone of voice.

"Acute? Acute means minor. This is serious. She doesn't know me anymore. She doesn't know her own flesh and blood! How can she not remember giving birth? This is anything but acute."

"No, Lily, it's acute. She remembers some things. That's why I'm here."

"She remembers you and not me? This is bullshit! I'm not the one who ran out on her! Why should she remember you?"

"I know you're hurt, but this has nothing to do with you. She doesn't know I left her. She thinks we're newlyweds. The last thing she remembers is our honeymoon."

"So she knows everything about her life except the last seventeen years?"

"Exactly."

"When will she be normal again?"

"They're going to examine the tumor more in the morning and see if they can operate. Even if they remove it, there's a slim chance that her memory might not return."

"And then what? You move back in, pretend that you're a happy, loving couple again? What about me? She doesn't know I exist, Dad. How would you explain suddenly having a teenager living in your house?"

"I said a slim chance, Lily. The odds are that she'll be completely normal. She'll know the part of her life that she's forgotten for now, and you can choose whether you want to live with me or her."

"That's the first real choice I've ever been allowed to make for myself. Why do I get to choose now?" I raised an eyebrow in suspicion of his motives.

"Because your mother's health obviously isn't good, and I'm not sure you're really happy where you are right now. Hanging out with those kids is a form of rebellion, I'm sure."

I sighed and wiped a tear from me cheek as my eyes dried in frustration. "It's not rebellion, they're just nice. I get along with them. I've got lots in common with them. And I want to graduate with them. I've already made plans, and I don't want to break them."

"If you're sure, then I won't argue."

"I'm sure. But once school's over, I'm moving back here. With Gerard, though, not Mom. I'll be closer to her, but we can both still have our space this way."

"You sound like you've put some thought into this," he observed.

"I've had a lot of time to think. I'm pretty sure this is the best way to make everyone happy."

"And am I included in this plan?"

I nodded. "You'll be free again."