I Never Told You What I Did for a Living

"Wake up."

The gentle command tugged impatiently at the edges of my consciousness. I groaned and ignored the familiar, rough voice. It was a voice I loved to hear. Except when it was waking me up.

"Wake up," the voice repeated. I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter in a silent protest. "Lily, you've got to get up. Mikey can't figure out your coffee maker and he's going to break it."

I sighed. "So let him break it. If I get up, you're going to make me go to school. I'm not stupid, Gerard. I know your tricks. Besides, I can't leave the two of you here alone all day. You'll destroy the place."

"Teach us how to make coffee and we'll be occupied for awhile," he bargained. He crawled up beside me on the mattress and buried his face in my neck.

"Where'd you sleep last night?" I asked.

He pulled back and shrugged. "Me and Mikey stayed up talking and I didn't want to wake you up, so we each took a couch."

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and let my feet make contact with the chilly tiles of my floor. I left the bedroom and Gerard followed. I found Mikey squinting at the buttons on the coffee maker from behind his glasses. He held the clear glass pot in one hand and a fresh filter in the other.

"You seriously can't figure it out?"

"The clock's not set," he muttered. "I don't know how to set it."

"You only need the clock if you're using the timer," I took the pot from his grasp and began to fill it from the tap as he placed the filter in the basket. I poured the water into the compartment and measured out the coffee grounds. I pushed the "On" button and immediately a gurgling sound filled the room. "Was it really that hard?"

"No," he admitted, looking ashamed.

I gave him a hug and smiled before turning and leaving the room.

"Where are you going?" Gerard called after me.

"To get dressed. I can't stay here all day, can I?"

Gerard and Mikey dropped me off at school awhile later. I wandered the intertwining hallways, not really paying attention to where I was going. I knew I should have been looking for my locker or even for a familiar face, but I couldn't seem to tear my gaze from my own feet.

My shoes were dirty. I needed to clean them, but it was pointless. Nobody was looking at them except me.

"Lily!"

My head snapped up as I heard my name. Natalie was running through the hallway, dodging other bodies to reach me. What was her hurry?

"Where have you been?"

"I had to go... see my mom."

"Oh. You missed my moment," a shy grin spread across her pale face.

"What moment?" curiosity burned my insides.

"You know how me and Kevin decided to go to graduation together? We're sort of dating now."

"Good for you!"

"Yeah. He asked me yesterday in the cafeteria. I wish you were there."

"I'm sorry I missed it. You should have called me."

"I tried. You didn't answer."

Guilt flooded my body and my face burned as I attempted to make an excuse. "I guess I wasn't carrying my phone with me."

"Are you okay? You look like you're going to hurl."

"I'm fine. I should get to class."

She stepped aside and let me pass. I hurried down the hall and hardly noticed when I collided with something solid.

"Slow down, Lily."

I tried to push past whoever I'd just run into. Somehow I couldn't tell my friends about my mom. Even after the changes I'd went through, I still hated burdening people with my problems. I needed to get to the bathroom before the tears building behind my eyes spilled out. But the person held me back. Finally, I looked up.

When he saw the look on my face, Kevin didn't speak. Unlike anyone else, he didn't ask how I was doing or what happened to make me this upset. All he did was nod slightly and pull me into a hug.

I didn't know how to react to this gesture, but I didn't have a chance to think. A choked sob came from behind my back, and I spun around to see Natalie looking betrayed. She had tears that mirrored my own and she spun and darted down the crowded hall.

I'd been in this school a total of five minutes and I'd already done something I knew I'd regret.