Killing Jar

I went to the studio the next day, though I didn't feel like it. As I walked past an opened door, I heard someone call my name. I back tracked until I was standing in the door, looking at the 4 members of Panic at the Disco. I immediately looked at Ryan who was busy inspecting his guitar.

"You came in today," Brendon said, smiling. I looked at Brendon. "You feeling better?"

"Yeah," I said, forcing a small smile.

"That's good," Brendon said.

"Yeah," I said. Neither of us said anything. Great. An awkward silence. "Well, I have to go and get ready. Recording time."

"Yeah," Brendon said. I forced one more smile before leaving the room. When I was farther down the hall, I heard a door close and footsteps behind me. I looked behind me and saw Brendon following me.

"Can we talk for a moment?" he asked. I turned around to face him.

"Yeah," I said. He waited until he was in front of me to start.

"I feel like there's something you're not telling me," Brendon said. "And I want you to know that I'm here to listen to you. You can trust me."

"I know that," I said. "But I don't have anything that I need to say."

Brendon sighed.

"I can tell when you're lying," he said, sounding frustrated. I sighed this time.

"Brendon, there are some things that I just need to keep to my self," I said. "Trust me when I say it's for the best."

"It's not usually good to keep things inside," Brendon said. "Trust me. I know from experience."

"Yeah," I said, getting angry. "And I know from experience that it's best to keep some things a secret."

"I don't see why you just don't talk to me," he said. "We can't move forward in our relationship if we don't talk."

"Fine!" I said, raising my voice. "If you want to know so bad what it is I'm keeping from you, then here it is: I slept with Ryan. I cheated on you. And I just ended things with him yesterday."

I instantly regretted exploding like that. Brendon say anything. He didn't say anything for a moment. I heard a door open.

"Brendon?" It was Ryan. I caught his eye as he looked this way. His eyes stayed on my face for a second, taking in my worried look before going back to Brendon's back. "Brendon?"

I looked at Brendon. He was just staring blankly ahead.

"Brendon?" I said this time. I reached out, touching his arm gently. He flinched away and looked at me.

"You cheated on me?" Brendon asked. I looked past Brendon at Ryan, whose eyes widened.

"Yes," I whispered.

"With Ryan?" he asked. I nodded my head. Brendon looked down, nodding his head slightly. He sighed. "Well. All I have to say, and I'm sure by now you're ready for this, but we're over."

I nodded my head. My eyes were watering. I tried not to cry. I didn't want to cry in front of Brendon and Ryan.

"I'll talk to you later Ryan," Brendon said calmly turning around. "Right now I need to go home and think."

Ryan didn't say anything. I looked up as Brendon passed Ryan. Ryan looked at me one more time before returning to the room he was in with Jon and Spencer. I let my tears fall. It's my own fault for everything that's going wrong.