I Wanna Hit You Just to See If You Cry

'You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?’ Ed hollered across the empty halls of his boyfriend’s flat ‘Don’t lie.’
‘Why should you care?’ Alex slurred, stumbling as he attempted to remove his shoes.
‘You know what happens when you drink!’ Ed yelled back, walking away from his clearly drunk boyfriend.
‘Ed. Baby, don’t do this.’ Alex whined, walking after him and sliding his arms around Ed’s waist.
‘Don’t do what?’ Ed shrieked, pushing Alex away ‘You’re the fool that drinks for kicks and doesn’t remember what happened the next morning!’
‘What?’ Alex asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘You don’t know how many lies I’ve had to tell just so I can stay with you!’ Ed whimpered, getting pushed back against the wall, his arms pinned by his sides. Alex ignored him and roughly pushed his lips against Ed’s. Ed attempted to squirm free from Alex’s grasp, but failed miserably. Alex kissed him again, too drunk to notice the tears pouring over Ed’s cheeks.
‘You know you want this…’ Alex murmured, pressing his hips forcefully to Ed’s. He let out a whimper of pain and tried again to free his arms.
‘Lex, please, let me go…’ Ed whined, tears forming again ‘You promised me you wouldn’t do this again…’
‘Do what?’ Alex asked, still not noticing the tears spilling over his boyfriend’s cheeks.
‘Hurt me.’ Ed sobbed ‘All those bruises I had; I told you I’d fallen down the stairs, Alex. Because you couldn’t remember knocking me out the night before.’
‘Remember when I had those cuts on my cheek; I told you I’d slipped, didn’t I? The truth was you didn’t remember taking a knife to my throat.’
Alex suddenly stepped towards Ed and grabbed his t-shirt. He twisted the material in his fingers and almost lifted Ed off the ground.
‘Don’t you ever say I hurt you again, got that?’ Alex spat, his beer breath making Ed wrinkle his nose in disgust.
‘I can’t lie any more Alex.’ Ed whispered, tears now flowing messily over his cheeks. Alex dropped him with such a force that he instantaneously fell to his knees.
‘You’re a waste of space, Minton.’ He cursed, kicking Ed in the chest.
‘You’re a useless, hopeless, lying little waste of space.’ He continued, kicking Ed a few final times before stalking away into his bedroom.
Ed lay there watching his t-shirt change to an interesting shade of red before he thought to contact someone. He pulled out his phone and managed to string together a simple text. ‘Ali help.’
He sent it and then watched the blood drip from his side onto the wooden floor of the flat.
Within seconds Ali came bursting in through the doorway, all thought for sleeping neighbors long thrown out of the window.
‘Ed! Ed…’ He cried, catching sight of Ed lying bloodied on the hallway floor.
‘Who did this to you…’ He asked, running over and kneeling beside his older friend.
‘Alex…’ Ed stuttered ‘It was Alex again…’ His chocolate brown eyes glazed over and closed slowly.
‘Ed stay with me, for God’s sake stay with me.’ Ali begged, pulling out his phone and quickly dialing 999. They told him to keep talking to Ed and that the ambulance wouldn’t be long.
Those were the worst few minutes of Ali’s fairly short life. Twenty-one’s hardly old, is it?
When the ambulance arrived, a nurse took him away to talk to him.
‘What’s his name…’ she asked gently.
‘Ed… Edward Minton…’ Ali stammered through tears.
‘Are you a close friend of his?’ she inquired, her voice still gentle.
‘Ye… Yeah.’ Ali replied, his voice gradually growing more stable.
‘Well, I can tell you this now. With a bit of treatment, he should pull through just fine, okay?’ She said smiling weakly and patting Ali on the arm.
‘Yeah.’ Ali smiled weakly back.

That was three long, long years ago. Ed did survive, but was in a coma for just over five months. Safe to say, the scene he witnessed when he awoke cheered him up no end.

There was a sickening crunch as Ali’s fist connected with Alex’s jaw.
‘If he dies because of you, I’ll hunt you down wherever you are, and kill you like you fucking killed him, got that?’ Alex whimpered in conformation and then turned and ran.
Ali sat back down next to Ed and dropped his head in his hands.
‘What the fuck have I just done? God I’m an idiot.’
‘No you’re not.’ A familiar voice said from next to him ‘You did the right thing. You shouldn’t have to worry about him any longer.’

Ed moved out of Alex’s flat as soon as he was discharged from hospital. He ended the relationship the next day. It was, as he put it ‘a waste of two years of my life.’ He moved in with Ali, as he was pretty lonely since his flatmate James left for university.

One day, after a walk purely to gain fresh air, Ed returned to the apartment. He was met with a sight so unusual he wasn’t quite sure what to do.
Ali was sat on the sofa, knees held close to his chest, sobbing.
‘Ali what’s wrong?’ Ed asked, putting his arm around the younger man. Ali pushed him away and carried on crying.
‘Ali, please tell me what’s wrong.’ Ed begged. Ali let out a depressed and shaky sigh.
‘Please.’ Ed said, looking at Ali.
Ali pulled a piece of paper from nowhere and quickly wrote something on it before folding it in half and thrusting it into Ed’s grasp.
‘Don’t open it until I’m gone.’ He said, leaving rapidly.
Ed gently unfolded the note and read the few words written in Ali’s messy scrawl.
‘Ed, I’m in love with you. That’s what’s wrong.’
Ed gawped at the note, not quite believing what he read. He breathed out slowly.
‘I never thought he’d feel the same…’ Ed whispered, brushing away a few tears ‘Never in a million years…’ He remembered then that Ali had left mere minutes ago. He darted to the door and threw it open, and then raced down the two flights of stairs down to ground level. He scanned the car park for any sign of life but there was nothing. He quickly checked Ali’s jeep. Still nothing. A genius plan hit him then. The river.
Ali’s always liked being around water, Ed thought, that’ll be the first place he goes.
Sure enough, as soon as Ed arrived at the river he saw an instantly recognizable figure hunched up beside a tree. As he got closer, he could hear that Ali was still crying, well, sobbing if he’s honest. Ed walked over to him and knelt down beside him.
‘Ali,’ Ed started. Ali looked up at him, his eyes uncharacteristically nervous.
‘You have to understand that it’s not wrong. On this occasion, it couldn’t be more right.’ He continued and gently pressed his lips to the blond’s.
‘I understand.’ Ali replied, attempting to wipe away his tears.
‘So, with us feeling the way we do…’ Ed began ‘Would you be my boyfriend?’ Ali smiled at him and nodded.

To the two men, it feels like they’ve been together all their lives. But what happened to the man they forgot? Yes, Alex Davies still loves Ed Minton. Now living on his own, he sobered up, thinking he still stood a chance with Ed. No chance, that is. Breaking two of his ribs and putting him in a coma for five months pretty much ruins any chance you had.
But, Alex didn’t realize this until he saw what he saw through Ali’s living room window.

It was a dark night, almost three years since Ed left Alex. Winter was descending on the city of York, occasional snowstorms battering the surroundings.
Ali and Ed were watching a rerun of some old tacky romance movie to take their minds away from the freezing weather outside. Ed was lying so that his head was resting on Ali’s chest, directly on his heart. Ali was gently twisting Ed’s raven black hair in his fingers.
Neither of them noticed Alex watching through the window. He was there all night. And what broke his heart the most was the way they said those three magical words to each other. In each other’s arms, that’s how.
Now, Alex Davies is not an idiot, as much as he acts like one. He’s a good enough lip-reader to work out exactly what they said.
This is what he saw:
Ed nuzzled further into Ali’s chest before looking up at his younger boyfriend.
‘I love you,’ He whispered, gently pressing his lips against Ali’s. Ali looked down at him, smiling.
‘I love you too.’ He whispered back, softly kissing the top of Ed’s head.