Scattered

My day off hadn’t been as satisfying or interesting as I’d planned. Once I finally fell back to sleep around eight thirty, I didn’t wake up until noon. Upon entering the living room, Candie was nowhere to be seen and this time she didn’t leave a note. So I took it upon myself to make a sandwich. I was starving by that point, so I went all out. I fried some ham on the stove, added some turkey, cheese and mayonnaise once that was done and then decided at the last minute to put some lettuce on it. I must’ve stared at the sandwich for a full minute before I took everything off, threw the soggy bread away and got two new slices of bread, this time toasting them. I added everything back on, including a fresh set of mayonnaise, and had nodded proudly at the finished product.

If you’re curious, it was delicious.

Other than my brilliant chef moment, I did nothing else worthy of excitement. Candie returned at around three o’clock, claiming that she’d been covering someone’s shift. I tried explaining to her the meaning of a “day off” but she didn’t listen. I went back to bed at five o’clock because I didn’t have a social life outside of Candie who permanently plopped herself on the couch after changing back into her pajamas. I woke up at seven thirty, made myself a TV dinner and watched the ending of some western on television with Candie who was completely engrossed in the film. I grabbed a book after I was finished eating and read until eleven o’clock, then went to bed.

I didn’t sleep so well because of how many naps I took throughout the day, so the majority of my night was spent tossing and turning or sleeping in thirty minute intervals. I still didn’t roll out of bed until ten thirty, where I’d been trying in vain to go back to sleep since seven.

And now you’re all caught up to where I am. We had the early shift at the bar and had to be there by eleven. As I leaned up against the counter, I contemplated which shift I liked better. The early shift didn’t have too many customers, especially not during the first half. But if we claimed the first shift, it was usually time to clock out at five which was pretty much the bar’s rush hour. The late shifters would then clock in after we left. The late shift was definitely busy, which meant more tips and money is always good. But the late shift could last up until two in the morning on the weekends and my body usually hits rock bottom around midnight when I’m working the late shift, so I spend about two hours in a zombie-like state.

I supposed the early and late shift were even, both with their own pros and cons. I didn’t really prefer one over the other unless on certain days.

As I came back to reality and out of my thoughts, I realized the bar was practically deserted. I wasn’t surprised, it was only twelve thirty. I observed the people who were there, noticing a group of friends sitting in one of the back booths, two men chatting away at one end of the bar, and a certain band occupying the other end who were conversing with Candie.

I hadn’t been paying much attention to what they were talking about, but I did hear that their first concert in Miami was coming up this weekend. They’d been spending the past couple of days setting up the venue and rehearsing. Apparently they had sold around a thousand tickets which was one of the largest crowds they’d be having on the tour so far.

Snapping out of my trance, I noticed one of the men at the other end holding up his empty glass. I pushed myself away from the counter and meandered over to him, offering a quick smile.

“Refill or something new?” I asked.

He contemplated for a moment before shaking his head, “Just a refill.”

I nodded, taking the glass from him to fill it to the brim with beer. I slid it back towards him, smiling again before returning to my spot.

I played with my fingers, picking at the purple nail polish absently that was almost completely gone. I would have to paint them again soon. What color? Red? Black? Blue? Dark green? Maybe—

“Hey, you okay?” I jumped upon hearing Candie’s voice. I looked over at her and noticed not only her, but Mike, Tre, Billie and Adie were watching me as well.

I shook my head, clearing my mind, and smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t know, you’ve just been quiet. Ever since yesterday. Is something up?” she asked.

I grinned at her concern. “No, everything’s good. I’ve just been thinking a lot, I guess.”

She fully turned to face me, leaning her elbow against the counter, a mirror image of my position. “What about?” she asked curiously. I noticed that the others had already gone back to their conversation and I returned my eyes to meet Candie’s blue ones.

I shrugged, looking back down at my horribly chipped nails. “I don’t know, lots of stuff I guess,” I told her. “Everything’s just kind of…” I searched for the word. “Boring, I suppose.”

I paused for a moment, ripping off some more nail polish before bringing my gaze back to hers.

“My life’s always been pretty repetitive, you know? Wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, go to bed and then do the same thing the next day,” I said. “Now’s not much different, except it’s wake up, go to work, come home, watch TV, go to bed and do it again tomorrow. The days we have off I just sit around the suite, sleeping or watching movies or even reading.”

I pursed my lips, pulling my teeth over my bottom lip and nipping at the skin inattentively.

“I guess I’m just waiting for something exciting to happen. I mean,” I gestured with my eyes and a tilt of the head towards the group of musicians behind Candie. “That was a surprise, sure, but I know they’re not going to be here much longer. It was nice to see them again and I’m glad they’re here, but I guess I just want… something permanent. Or long-term.”

Candie appeared to be thinking for a moment, staring at the countertop without actually seeing it as she thought. She then looked at me and asked, “Is it because of…” she motioned vaguely behind her. “You know, him?” I set my lips in a firm, thin line. “Does him being here bother you or…?” she trailed off, purposefully not finishing her sentence in hopes that I would fill in the gaps myself.

I was silent for an instant. Apparently my hands were very interesting to me that day. “I don’t know,” I finally said. “Maybe.”

It was quiet again.

I heaved a sigh. “Having him here just makes it all so… real, you know? I know he doesn’t… I know it’s not the same anymore,” I gazed intently down at my shoes. “It’s not like I want something from him. He’s started over, not intentionally because he had no choice, but he has someone now. He’s happy. And I just…” I lifted my head skyward, already feeling the tears welling up. But I refused to let them fall. I’d cried enough over him. I glimpsed back down at her, the sorrow evident in my eyes. “I’ve been holding on so long and I need to let go.”

“Oh, sweetie,” she murmured, rubbing by arm soothingly. I sniffed, swallowing thickly and attempted a smile in gratitude for her comfort and for listening. “I’m glad you said that, though,” she told me encouragingly. “That you’re willing to move on. That’s a big step.” She smiled proudly at me, a twinkle in her eyes. “Things will get better.”

“You promise?” I asked innocently, managing a half grin as I looked at her through my eyelashes.

She returned the grin and nodded. “I promise.”


The day wore on like any other day would. The boys left not long after Candie and I’s conversation, mentioning vaguely that they had “things to do”. I figured it had to do with their band—interviews, rehearsals, meetings, things like that. Billie managed to wink at me, or us, on the way out and I blushed a fiery red, mumbling something about washing the glasses before disappearing through the Employee’s Only door.

The sun was slowly beginning to set in the sky, shining through the windows in hues of red and orange. As expected, the bar was beginning to draw a crowd. People of all ages – well, those legal to drink, anyways – had rounded up tables to drink with their buddies. Two tables in particular were businessmen, as they still had their slacks and dress shoes on with discarded suit jackets on their chairs. They were laughing loudly and sharing a bowl of peanuts we sat at each table.

At another table in the corner, a group of young adults were sitting and grinning excitedly amongst themselves as they chatted calmly. From the looks of it, most of them had probably just turned twenty-one and were out on their first adventure of bar hopping. I smiled slightly as I recalled that this was where I had my first drink. Publicly, at least.

“Busy night, busy night,” a voice chanted from behind me causing me to jump. Kenny dodged my form as he scuttled around the bar to deliver to the tables. It most definitely was a busy night whenever Kenny dropped in to give us a hand. The bar itself was completely full with no extra stools to spare. Currently, Candie and I were taking care of the drinkers at the counter, occasionally switching ends whenever someone needed a refill. There were only a few talkers. Most of them kept to themselves or murmured quietly amongst their neighbors.

“I hope Claire and Johnny are going to be here soon,” Candie muttered from my left. I nodded vaguely as I refilled a glass before sliding it over to its owner. The aforementioned Claire and Johnny were the two out of four other bartenders that worked here. They were usually the ones that took our spots when our shifts were over while we took over shifts for two boys named Eddie and Tom.

“Then again,” I started to reply after Candie was finished with her refill. “If it gets any busier, Kenny might ask us to stay.”

Candie was groaning before I even finished my sentence. I didn’t blame her.

“Hey sweetheart, mind filling me up?” A man asked with blonde hair that was slicked back in an overload of gel. I nodded and took his glass after asking what he’d been drinking.

Kenny swung himself around the corner of the bar and bent down close to my ear as he passed. “Do you have any idea where your employees are?” he hissed. I furrowed my eyebrows and glanced at him briefly before returning the blonde man’s glass to him with a quick smile.

“No,” I answered. “I don’t exactly talk to them much. Why?”

“They’re four minutes late,” he snapped with gritted teeth. I was taken aback by his tone for a split second before I understood the stress he must’ve been under.

“Well, I’m sure they’ll—” The doors to the bar flew open. Speak of the devil. “—be here soon.” I finished, sending them both a look as they scampered through the sea of customers with guilty expressions. They stammered their apologies but the look on Kenny’s face was anything but forgiving.

He shook his head and threw his hands in the air. “Whatever, I don’t care right now. Just get to work.” He stormed into the back room, apparently feeling as though his presence was no longer required now that we had two sets of extra hands.

Claire quickly saddled up next to me where I was cleaning a few used glasses to wash her hands. “You’re lucky we’re busy tonight or else Kenny would’ve had your ass,” I said to her, raising my eyebrows to emphasis my point.

She sighed heavily. “I think he’s going to have our asses either way when it’s closing time,” was all she said before running to the tables to take orders.

The sun faded into the night as the evening wore on. Candie and I didn’t leave because Kenny never told us to and we weren’t just going to ask to leave. Kenny did eventually wander back out to continue helping us, but overall we were still doing most of the work as he observed us. It was probably nearing nine o’clock when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I’d just finished refilling a bowl of peanuts and turned to face a pair of startling green eyes. I jumped back a bit, not expecting such a surprise after my mind was already cluttered with work, work, work.

“Hey,” he grinned, the side of his mouth turning upward in some form of amusement to my reaction.

“Hi...” I stretched the word out a bit, making it sound almost like a question.

The blue-haired singer continued grinning up a storm. “We’re finished with practice,” he announced proudly, outstretching his arms a bit. The sheen of sweat coating his neck proved that he’d been working hard and apparently had made his way here right after. I ogled the smooth skin briefly. He looked like he had a bit of a tan.

“Really?” I finally said, tearing my eyes away from the torturous exposed skin.

“Yep,” he answered, popping the ‘p’. “So now I’m all yours,” he smirked at his own wording and I bit the inside of my lip. I wish, I thought to myself, feeling a bit frustrated. He knew what he was doing, if the teasing look in his eyes was anything to go by. He probably thought I had some sort of crush on him and he was wallowing in the fact that he had such good looks to woo the ladies with. “Well,” He interjected before I had time to say anything, not that much came to mind at the moment. “We’re all yours,” he corrected just as a certain bassist and drummer appeared at his sides as if they’d been waiting for an introduction.

“Hey, Spence!” Tre all but shouted into my face.

I grinned and tore my gaze from Billie, allowing those R-rated thoughts to evaporate. “Hey, Tre,” I chuckled. I smiled at Mike as well, momentarily feeling a warm hum in my stomach at the fact that all three of them were really standing in front of me. Sometimes it was just so surreal. “Hey, Mike,” I greeted.

“Hey, Spencer,” he gave me a one-sided hug as his own form of greeting and I returned it. I tilted my head towards the bar where a few men had just left, leaving some seats open for them. I went around to the other side and picked up the empty glasses that Johnny had yet to get rid of after they paid for their drinks. I took them to the sink and sat them inside before approaching the three males with a half grin.

“So,” I sang the word a bit. “What’ll it be tonight, boys?”

“A beer,” they answered in unison. I knew which beer they always ordered and they were aware of that, so they didn’t bother to specify.

“Coming right up,” I laughed and began preparing the glasses.

“You know,” Tre said, leaning forward on his elbows against the counter and sitting on his knees on the stool with his butt slightly in the air. “I used to spell beer like ‘bear’. Like, it was by accident, but I did it. All the time.”

“‘By accident,’ he says,” Mike taunted with a roll of his eyes.

Tre reached around Billie to slap the taller man and I scowled loudly, as I’d just sat the full drinks in front of them.

“No fighting with breakables nearby!” I ordered, only half serious. Tre drew back and pulled a face that suggested he’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and I smiled proudly before pushing their drinks toward them.

And it was like I’d said the magic word or some unseeable force had decided to jinx me because there was an outraged shout from the other end of the room at one of the tables.

“You did what?” an older man shouted, red in the face with a vein protruding fiercely from his forehead. He stood harshly from his chair and kicked it a few feet behind him.

There was a younger man sitting in front of him, a half-empty glass of beer clutched carelessly in his hand as he stared up at his friend with disinterest.

“Dude, chill,” the younger man exasperated. “It was like three years ago, it’s no big deal.” The guy waved his hand as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

The former glared murderously down at him, clenching and unclenching his jaw. “It is a big deal,” he argued. “You slept with my wife!”

“Ooh snap,” said Tre eagerly.

“You weren’t even married to her yet!” The latter seemed astounded.

“That’s ‘cause we were engaged!”

“Look, you weren’t supposed to know, okay? It’s not like it meant anything and I mean, it just sort of slipped out.” The younger man tried to reason, his words slurring a bit from all the alcohol.

I spotted Candie near the table the two guys were arguing. Our gazes locked for a minute and she looked a bit scared, if not a little annoyed as well. It wasn’t often that people got into fights where we worked – we’d only actually seen one in person and it got pretty ugly. We’d heard about others from Johnny since they were prone to occur during the night shifts when he was working.

“Oh, it just ‘slipped out’,” the man mocked, using quotations with his fingers. “Yeah, no, I totally understand. I mean, having sex with your buddy’s fiancé isn’t important or anything,” he looked on the verge of snapping. “Why the fuck would you go behind my back like that, man? The fuck’s your problem?”

“It was when you two had that fight!” the younger one defended. “Remember when you left for the night and I was there? I just offered to drink some wine to calm her nerves, I didn’t mean for anything to come out of it!”

“Oh, this is getting good,” Tre rubbed his hands together and I slapped him on the back of the head.

“Did you take advantage of Molly?” The man shouted, reaching forward to viciously grip his collar, yanking him forward. “By God, if you hurt her I swear on my mother’s grave—”

“Okay, guys,” Johnny warned, stepping around the bar to approach them cautiously. “If you want to fight, I think it’s best you take it outside—”

“No!” The man boomed, causing most in the room to jump. I stepped around the bar as well to stand next to Mike’s stool, feeling very nervous that this was about to go downhill fast. Candie looked to be trying to sidestep the two, but she seemed anxious to get too close in fear of angering the man further. “I wanna know what this little punk did!”

“Look, it—it—it wasn’t like that!” the other shouted, his voice on the verge of hysteria. “I—I only wanted to calm her nerves, alright! I was drinking too and she came on to me first!”

It was obvious that was the wrong thing to say because the older man tugged harder on his collar, pulling him slightly over the table and knocking over one of the beer glasses. Johnny shouted at them again, but his voice was drowned out as the younger man wailed before knocking his fist into the man’s jaw to deter him and let him go.

And just like that, the fight was on.

The older man yelled, affronted, and hit back twice as hard, sending his ‘buddy’ to the ground with a red welt on his cheek. I expected the kid to stay down, but he was on his feet swiftly and shoved the guy back. Candie was right in the line of fire and the older man ran right into her, knocking her into a booth and causing her to wince.

“Hey!” I shouted this time, running forward with Johnny to try and break up the fight. There were protests from behind me, all coming from three certain musicians, but I ignored them. I avoided getting hit by running around the opposite side of the table to get to Candie. I helped her up, making sure she was alright and sighing in relief when she promised she’d only hit her hip against the corner of the booth.

I tried maneuvering us around the fight again that poor Johnny had thrown himself in the middle of. I vaguely wondered where Kenny was, but didn’t linger on the thought as I grabbed Candie’s hand.

The shouts were getting louder – half of the audience was cheering them on and the other half was either trying to break it up and help Johnny or attempting to stay out of the way. The other glass eventually fell, rolling off the table and shattering on the ground not far from where we were cornered and I jumped back, thankful I was wearing jeans and sneakers and hoping none of the glass hit Candie.

Just as I found an opening to get us out of the flying fists, the younger man momentarily gained the upper hand and picked up a chair to use as a weapon and without thinking, threw it towards the other man. It managed to nail him on the shoulder and he lost his momentum, tripping over his feet and flying towards us.

I felt myself hit the wall before his body weight fully registered. I felt the oxygen being forced out of me from the impact, following by a sharp pain in my back from slamming into the wall. I gasped as the man stumbled to the ground, his drunken stupor messing with his equilibrium.

I leaned against the wall for a moment, willing the pain in my back to go away and for my heart to stop threatening to burst through my chest. Candie ended up falling right after he hit us, but I had no idea what condition she was in on the floor. I blinked rapidly and shook my head, fairly certain that I hadn’t hit it against the wall since I didn’t have a headache. I slid down the wall to hit the floor next to Candie where she was nursing her head, apparently not having the same luck.

“You fucker!”

I had no idea who was shouting anymore. It looked as though the fight had grown, not including just two men anymore, but four or five of them instead.

I chanced a glance at Candie, watching as she sat up to lean against the wall with me. “You okay?” I checked, looking for any blood when she pulled her hand away and was comforted that I didn’t see any.

It took her a minute to catch her breath before answering. “Yeah, I think I’m good. Just bumped my head on the floor when I fell,” she winced at the lump that was most likely forming, bringing her hand back to rest above it. “You?”

I nodded. “Only got the wind knocked out of me.”

I hear a loud bang! followed by another shortly after. The room quieted down until all that was left was heaving breathing.

“That is enough,” I heard Kenny’s stern voice echoing throughout the room. “If you all want to act like animals, that’s fine with me. But not in my bar,” he was livid. “I’d suggest if you want to continue this pissing match, then take it outside. Otherwise, sit the fuck down. Be expecting a bill for the damages you’ve caused.”

The room was silent for a moment as Kenny’s words began to sink in. “Bunch of damn, bigoted...” Kenny’s mumble was nearly incomprehensible that I wasn’t able to catch the rest of what he said. I heard footsteps as he stomped away from the scene, though didn’t fully leave the room as I would assume to make sure nothing else happened.

I closed my eyes for a second, no longer feeling like my spine was going to shatter as the pain transformed into a dull ache. I felt Candie lean against my shoulder and I rested my head against hers, being careful to avoid where she hit it.

A pair of footsteps approached the two of us and I heard the sound of material rubbing together as they kneeled in front of me.

“Spence?” the person tentatively asked, reaching out to touch my arm. I opened my eyes slowly, catching a blur of blue and green before my eyes adjusted.

Billie smiled once my eyes caught his and he asked concernedly, “You okay?”

Mike and Tre kneeled down with him, eyeing both Candie and I and scrutinizing us for any injuries we might’ve attained.

“We’re good,” I assured them. “We both are.”

Billie watched me for a few seconds, eyeing me from head to toe like he was making sure I wasn’t lying. When he appeared satisfied that he found nothing out of the ordinary, he nodded. He kept his grip around my arm and began to stand, gently pulling me up with him. It took me a moment to regain my balance and he put both hands on my arms to steady me.

When I no longer looked as though I was going to fall over, he asked warily, “That happen often?”

“Not really,” I shook my head, my heart still beating erratically from the adrenaline. “Even when we’re not working it doesn’t happen much. I mean, this is a hotel resort,” I told him. It was quiet as the four of us sort of eyed one another. “Well, that was… fun,” I lamely tried to lighten the mood. Inwardly I hoped that I’d never have to experience anything like that ever again. I almost pissed my pants.

Billie let me lean on him a bit, rubbing my arm slightly with the hand that was wrapped around my back. It was comfortable just sitting in his embrace again. I’d almost forgotten the feeling of safety he gave me.

Tre seemed intent on cuddling Candie. “If you need a shoulder to lean on…” he said, bouncing his right shoulder in her face. She shoved him out of the way, seemingly in a foul mood.

I huffed a sort of laugh and Billie grinned at me. I glanced down at the hand that continued rubbing my arm, noticing the knuckles looked slightly red and possibly starting to bruise. I furrowed my eyebrows and was about to ask what happened and if he’d gotten hurt when a voice interrupted my thoughts,

“Is this what you do for fun around here?”

I jerked my head up in shock. I knew that voice. It’d been a long time since I heard it, but I knew that voice well.

Mike and Tre jumped at the sound of someone else and turned their heads, also appearing surprised by who it was. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Billie squint at the newcomer with an indiscernible expression on his face.

I focused all my attention on them, feeling a large smile involuntarily breaking out across my face.

“Chase?”