Scattered

Chase settled in comfortably the days following his arrival. He’d originally paid for a room at a local motel the night he came to Florida just so he could settle the sleeping arrangements. Initially, he’d planned to stay at his sister’s and drive up to visit me whenever he could. He ended up cancelling his stay at the motel and left his luggage in our living room near the couch, his designated bed. He said he would get a ride up to his sister’s place on Monday where he’d stay the rest of the week with her.

Candie and I both had the rest of the week and weekend off until the following Monday so we spent our afternoons at the beach. Well, we practically spent the entire day at the beach on Friday, but only the early afternoon on Saturday since Green Day’s concert was Saturday night.

Friday had been a good day, the only downside being that I got a slight sunburn. It had been Chase’s idea for us to spend our downtime at the beach so we could relax. It definitely solved my issues of doing nothing on my days off, plus I felt like my life was taking a turn for the better – no longer going through the same routine every day and back to expecting the unexpected. That was the great thing about Chase: he was unpredictable. One minute he’s like the energizer bunny, ready to bounce from place to place as he explores the city, and then the next he’s calm and laidback, all set to just take a seat and watch the sunset.

And you never know what mood he’s going to wake up in or what he’ll be willing to do next. And I liked that. It was that unpredictability that I felt like I’d been looking for. He was adventurous, he always has been, and it was like a breath of fresh air. But he never took things too far to where I’d be uncomfortable. Chase kept an eye on me and occasionally he’d push the envelope, but never to the point of being too extreme for me to handle. It was like he was trying to get me to open up one step at a time; trying to test my limits and get me to experience new thrills.

“Just live a little,” he said after trying to convince me to taking surfing lessons from him. I felt embarrassed because I knew I’d do horrible and in the end I did make a fool of myself in front of everyone – I practically had an audience with everyone finding my lack of surfing expertise amusing – but I had a great time. It put a smile on Chase’s face just seeing me having a good time and his smile was infectious.

After all these years, he was still able to read me like an open book and I was perfectly okay with that.


“So I take it you guys had a good time?” Mike inquired from the other line after I told him about our great beach adventure, sans the humiliation of my surf lessons.

“Yeah,” I smiled. “We got to have fun for once. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed that hard, actually,” I admitted, feeling a bit surprised with how true that was. “Plus it’s great having Chase around again,” I twirled the phone cord around my finger out of reflex.

“So you two are getting along just fine?” Mike seemed hesitant, like he was treading dangerous waters by even touching the subject of Chase’s sudden appearance.

“Well yeah,” I told him, figuring the answer was obvious. “I mean, I was definitely shocked to see him in person after, what, three years of only hearing his voice. But it’s been nice having him here,” I bit the inside of my lip and chuckled to myself. “To be honest, these past few years I haven’t felt like a young adult or anything like that, I’ve felt like I was forty; being cooped up in this hotel, not going out much or seeing new things. Candie’s always been like that and I’m the total opposite. But now that he’s here… I don’t know. I just feel like I can act my age again, if that makes any sense.” I shook my head and rested it in one of my hands. “It’s hard to explain.”

“No, I get it,” said Mike. “You feel like you’re back to your old self. You know, before you entered the real world with a round the clock job,” he said. “Even though you were looking to get away from the hardships of your old life, your new life also came with a lot of work and you had to grow up. You weren’t able to have as much fun anymore because you had other things to worry about.”

“Look at you,” I teased. “Sprouting the philosophies of life and all that. Should I call you professor?”

Mike laughed. “I have my moments.”

I laughed quietly. “Yeah, I guess that’s how it was,” I referred to what he said before. “But I’ve never actually been one to go looking for fun. Truth be told, I was always a little scared of what I might find. But Chase is trying to break me out of my shell, I can tell. And that’s the reason Candie asked him to come here in the first place. I think it might be good for me.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

There was some shuffling on the other line, followed by a muffled voice that I couldn’t quite make out.

“Would you shut up?” More mumbling. Mike groaned. “Ugh, yes, they’re coming to the show. You’ve asked me that three times and the answer’s still the same.”

He was obviously talking to Billie. I couldn’t help but laugh. Some things never change.

Speaking of the concert… “Oh, Mike?” There was a question I’d been meaning to ask him and I felt bad enough as it was asking on such short notice.

There was a little more shuffling before Mike was able to reply, “Yeah?”

“I was wondering if it’d be okay if Chase tagged along with us to the concert?”

I expected him to make some sort of excuse about how they wouldn’t be able to swing another person in, and I wouldn’t have argued if that were the case, but his answer surprised me. “Sure, no big,” he said and I could practically hear him shrugging in that nonchalant way of his.

“You’re sure?” I checked. “It’s no problem at all?”

“No, Spence, it’s fine,” Mike guffawed. “It’s our show, I think we can handle it.”

We talked a little bit more before hanging up, Mike’s last words being, “Yes, Billie, they’re still fuckin’ coming!”


The venue Green Day would be performing at was packed. Mike told us earlier that we could pull around back where they kept the bookmobile. I felt grateful for that because we didn’t have to take the main road where tons of cars were parked near the sidewalks and crowds of people were walking if they had to park farther away. According to Candie, there was a back road we could take that would lead us to the rear entrance of the venue. Apparently she’d been to that place before and had been friends with multiple bands who played in the smaller concert hall next to it.

I wasn’t sure how we got past security or even if there was security there in the first place, but we made it to the back parking lot in one piece. I spotted the aforementioned bookmobile on the opposite side of the parking lot, looking the same as it did three years ago. And I took a second after getting out of the car to ponder incredulously how they managed to travel around the world in such a vehicle. It was roomy, but after a while you tended to feel cramped. I knew they used to use it all the time to hold their equipment for gigs in Rodeo, but driving across the U.S.?

I assumed they had people traveling with them in separate cars or vans. How else would they carry around all their equipment? Plus someone had to set everything up at the venue, didn’t they? I had no idea how things like that worked so I didn’t worry myself too much over it.

“Mike said he’d be waiting by the door for us, right?” Candie asked, climbing out the driver’s seat and meeting Chase and I around the back of the car.

I nodded. Mike said it’d be the only way to get us into the place without causing a fight.

And sure enough, the only back door in sight that we’d been making our way towards flew open and a tall, lanky blonde appeared with a clear plastic cup filled half way with a gold liquid. I automatically assumed it was beer.

“There you are,” the bassist grinned, holding the door open for us as we climbed up the steps. We were led into a simple hallway and I could hear the noise echoing from the main room, full of chatter and footsteps.

A few casually dressed guys, not much older than Mike himself, met us halfway and Mike smiled charmingly, nodding towards us, “They’re traveling with us.”

Chase, Candie and I exchanged discreet looks of confusion but didn’t bothering questioning and instead went along with it with smiles of our own. The guys passed us, offering smiles in return that didn’t appear the least bit genuine.

Mike leaned back towards us as we continued walking once the men were out of earshot. “That’s the only way you guys can get in without a ticket,” he explained to us.

We followed him through a few more narrow hallways, sidestepping a couple other people I figured worked there. The halls were cluttered with old equipment and cardboard boxes, some with items inside them and others empty. The walls were coated with chipped gray paint and it was obvious the floors either hadn’t been cleaned in months or they were so worn that the markings covering them were permanent.

We turned down one final hallway and the scent of smoke filled my sinuses. At last we entered a room with torn, faded green carpet and dirty white walls with random photographs lining them. There were two small couches facing one another in the center of the room with a table sitting in between them. I couldn’t even decipher what color they were anymore. I spotted Adie sitting on the far couch, her dreadlocks pinned up in a casual, yet elegant messy bun.

She had a drink held tenderly in her hand as she talked aimlessly with a guy I didn’t recognize.

“Hey, Adie,” Mike greeted, dragging his feet into the room and dropping his now empty cup on the table that was littered with empty beer cans, unused coasters, a pack of cigarettes and scattered papers.

The dreadlocked woman looked up after hearing her name and the guy she’d been talking to, who sported a faux hawk much like Tre was so fond of doing, spared us a brief uninterested glance before grabbing the cigarette pack and wandering to the other side of the room.

I tucked my hands inside my jean pockets, feeling a little uncomfortable. I felt the warmth of someone’s body step up behind me followed by a hand resting on the small of my back. I turned my head briefly to see Chase smiling at me and raising a teasing eyebrow once I caught his eye. I grinned, instantly feeling a bit better and raised an eyebrow of my own before turning my head back around, leaning into his touch without really meaning to.

“I don’t think you were ever introduced before,” Mike started once he gained Adie’s attention, gesturing towards me. “This is Spencer."

“Oh yeah,” she tilted her head in recognition. “You went bowling with us, right?”

I failed to notice before that, despite being in her presence a few times, we’d never actually been introduced. We shared a mutual acknowledgement of one another, but since neither of us were ever formally introduced, I suppose we figured it wasn’t completely necessary.

I nodded, trying to appear much more comfortable than I actually felt. It was a curse that I was so horrible with talking to strangers. I felt the need to verbalize my affirmation and uttered a lame, “Yeah.”

Adie nodded as well, allowing a small smile to spread across her lips that appeared to be coated in a dark lipstick. It looked purple, but there was a vague red tone to it that made the color more subtle. Her cheeks were perfectly round – the kind that guys would no doubt find kissable – and tainted with a faint rosy red that I couldn’t tell was natural or makeup. But with how creamy her skin was in general, I’d go with natural.

She really was very pretty.

“She’s an old friend of ours,” Mike explained briefly, then motioned to Chase. “That’s Chase, another old friend.”

Chase stepped out from behind me a bit, though kept his hand on my back. “Hey,” he waved with a polite smile.

“Yo, Tre! Billie!” Mike yelled, ambling over to a small fridge to grab a can of beer. He looked back, still bending down. “You guys want anything?” he scrutinized the contents of the fridge. “We got beer, bottled water, beer, I don’t know what that is, more beer...” he rummaged through it, pushing cans out of the way. “We basically got beer and water.”

I grinned. “I’ll take a water,” I said while Chase asked for a beer. I looked to my right to see what Candie wanted but there was no one there. I frowned, wondering where she’d run off to already, but spotted her with the brunette guy who’d been talking to Adie. The social butterfly that she was, she was chatting enthusiastically with the guy, hand gestures and all. The brunette wasn’t quite as animated as she was, leaning casually against the wall in some form of devil-may-care posture, but he looked genuinely interested in what she was saying nonetheless.

Mike didn’t bother asking the question again when Candie didn’t reply so he walked back to us and handed us our drinks.

“Is beer all you guys drink?” I asked mockingly while opening the lid to my water bottle, taking a greedy sip afterwards.

“Pretty much,” Mike smirked, taking a large gulp of the alcohol.

There was a slam, followed by a shout in the room connected to the one we were standing in. Then I could faintly hear footsteps brushing against the carpet and a disheveled Tre appeared in the doorway.

His eyes lit up when he saw me. “Stud!” he exclaimed and broke out into a run. I backed up and quickly closed the lid to my water before he tackled me into the wall, saving us both from a minor disaster.

“Tre,” I groaned, my back protesting to the violent thrust. I thought my being slammed against the wall at the bar the other day had left me virtually unharmed, but apparently it had bruised slightly and I hadn’t noticed. Up until now. I hugged him back regardless, though less aggressively.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” he squealed gleefully right into my ear. There was an obvious trace of alcohol on his breath and the scent of smoke had practically given itself a home all over his red jacket.

“I will be too when you stop crushing my lungs,” I gasped and he quickly pulled away, allowing me to breathe properly again.

“Jeez, Cool, don’t kill her,” I heard from across the room, thick amusement woven into their tone of voice.

Tre lost interest in me after he discovered Candie’s energetic conversation with the brunette who didn’t appear to have gotten a word in yet, not that I was too surprised. Tre high-tailed it over there like a dog who spotted its owner and forced his way into the conversation, hugging Candie from behind and emitting a shrink from the blonde. The guy appeared thoroughly annoyed by Tre’s presence and Tre, if anything, looked a little smug.

I rested against the wall I’d been tossed into, observing the blue-haired male who just entered the room. Well, his hair was more of a faded blue now and the roots were starting to show through. As usual, it was sticking up at odd angles in that just-rolled-out-of-bed look.

Billie had his own plastic cup in his hands, though empty, along with a lit cigarette. He tossed the cup carelessly onto the table that was beginning to really pile up and he bent down to kiss Adie, rubbing his lips together with a cheeky grin to smooth the lipstick she got on him. She bit her lip in return and shoved him playfully.

He came forward to greet me with one of his famous winks, though did a double take once he caught Chase’s form out of the corner of his eye.

“I forgot you were coming,” Billie stated and Chase jumped at the opportunity to extend his arm.

“I hope it’s okay that I tagged along, man.”

Billie shook the outstretched hand. “No, it’s cool, man.”

I rolled my eyes. Didn’t guys have any other terms to refer to one another as other than ‘man’?

“Hey,” Mike announced suddenly, re-entering the room. I hadn’t notice he left. “Who wants to see the stage?” he asked, eyeing all of us and waggling his eyebrows.

Tre jumped excitedly. “Ooh, yes! Let’s go look at my new drums!” He nearly tore Candie’s arm right out of its socket as he dragged her out of the room with Mike. Adie, who I suppose had nothing else better to do, followed behind them and sipped her drink along the way. Chase turned to follow, but stopped short to look at me.

“You coming?”

I glanced at Billie out of the corner of my eye who didn’t appear to be leaving anytime soon as he stood near the fridge reading a piece of paper. For some reason I felt obligated to stay so I shook my head.

“No thanks,” I smiled at him and he hesitated for a second before returning it and jogging out of the room to catch up with everyone else.

I remained against the wall for a few seconds, biting the inside of my cheek as I looked around. I noticed a window on the wall across from me that had closed plastic blinds with creases scattered about them, like someone had gotten in a fight and had been tossed against them.

I finally pushed myself away from the wall, swinging my arms absently as I watched Billie’s still form. Whatever he was reading, he seemed rather entranced in it. I was able to catch a glimpse of his knuckles again where he was holding the paper. They weren’t as bad as before; the bruising was fading away quickly but it was still noticeable.

I made my way towards him, intent on asking about them before I forgot.

Billie, who now had his legs crossed and was leaning on his shoulder against the wall next to him, must have noticed me because he jerked his head in my direction. He didn’t look too surprised to see me, but I don’t think he really expected me to be there, either.

“Hey, I didn’t see you,” he said before looking back down at the paper in his hands. I stopped next to him, trying to take a peek at what was on the sheet without making it too obvious. His head continued to face the paper, but his eyes rolled to face me and there was a faint smirk on his lips. “It’s just the set list,” he told me. Apparently I hadn’t been as subtle as I thought.

He looked back at the paper one last time, eyes skimming it briefly before he waved it carelessly and fully faced me. He tossed it back onto the table before leaning back against the wall, crossing his arms as he looked at me.

“Something up?” Billie asked, his green eyes twinkling a bit as he tilted his head in question.

“What happened to your knuckles?” I finally asked, pointing to his left hand. “Did you do that at the bar fight?”

Billie furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at his hand. He flexed the aforementioned hand and examined the knuckles like he had no idea he’d been injured.

He shrugged coolly. “Well, with everyone else beating the shit outta each other, I figured why not?”

I didn’t understand and I shook my head to express my confusion. “But why?”

Billie looked at me for a second. It was really coming to my attention how often people were doing that lately – just staring at me in silence like they could see something I couldn’t. The only difference between when Chase did it and when Billie did it was when Chase stared at me, it was like I was the most interesting thing to look at and he enjoyed just taking the time to sit back and look at me.

When Billie did it, his eyes were narrowed and he sort of squinted at me like I was some experiment he was studying in a lab. I couldn’t tell if it was a stare that someone would give when they saw you for the first time, or if it was more like there was something new about you they were trying to figure out without actually asking verbally what it was.

Finally, he told me in all seriousness, “It wasn’t like I was just going to let that guy hurt you.”

It took me a second to rack my brain and figure out what he was talking about.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “You mean when he ran into Candie and I?” I clarified. “It wasn’t really his fault, though.”

Billie shrugged again but the smirk was back. “I tend to get a little defensive and take things personally when assholes hurt my friends. I don’t really give a shit whose fault it is.”

So Billie considered us friends? For some reason that surprised me.

But either way, I found myself blushing at his confession and he had that teasing look on his face again. I wouldn’t call it flirting... it was more like when guys knew a little girl had a crush on them and they thought it was cute, though not quite as innocent as that.

“So,” Billie started after finding much entertainment with the red in my cheeks, along with probably his own personal enjoyment of the crush he still seemed to think I had on him. “You excited for the show tonight?” he asked, leaning his head against the wall a bit and exposing the guitar pick necklace I forgot he owned that was peeking out from the collar of his t-shirt.

“Yeah,” I nodded, crossing my arms across my chest tightly. “I’m... looking forward to hearing your music.” I purposefully failed to mention that I’d been to their shows many times a couple years ago.

He nodded to himself. “You been to our shows in Rodeo? You know, back when you lived there?” he added, as if I’d forgotten already that I lived there for a period of time in my life.

“Well, I might’ve been to one or two,” I improvised airily. “I just meant that I’m looking forward to hearing the newer songs you’ve put out.”

Billie nodded again and licked his bottom lip before biting it. “We’re going to rock your world,” he winked, kicking away from the wall like he planned to go somewhere. He remained standing in front of me though and I felt like I’d been involuntarily sucked into a staring contest.

We could’ve stood there for hours. He had an air of smugness, like he was expecting me to crack first and was determined to come out victorious. I, however, wasn’t going to let him win and if I looked away in embarrassment (which my body was threatening to do a few times without my brain’s consent), it would only fuel his desire to tease me for the rest of my life or his, whichever ended first, and I wasn’t going to stand for that.

But suddenly an onslaught of noise startled me out of it and I broke the stare with a jump, turning to face the door and wondering why music was beginning to play without the frontman. And damn it if I’d forgotten how loud concerts were.

I heard a low chuckle that my ears probably wouldn’t have caught if he hadn’t been standing so close and turned to face Billie who was grinning crookedly at me. “It’s just the band that’s opening for us,” he informed me laughingly.

I had an air of ‘I knew that’ as I crossed my arms tighter around my chest and mimicked a shrug that was hardly noticeable. Billie openly laughed this time and placed his hands on my shoulders, staring down at me like I was the funniest thing he’d ever set eyes on. “You need to lighten up,” he told me, not unkindly. With his hands still on my shoulders, he turned me to face the door where Mike suddenly appeared.

“Hey Bill, we need to start getting ready,” he stated, taking in how my back was practically pressing up against Billie’s chest as he held me in place with a look I couldn’t describe.

“On my way,” Billie answered from behind me, his voice so close to my ear that I jumped again and he laughed. He dropped his hands to my hips for a brief second and I suppressed a third jump as he maneuvered himself around me. “C’mon,” he took a hold of my elbow and forced my arms to uncross, grabbing my wrist once I dropped my arms to my sides. “I’ll show you where to go.”

I let him pull me out the door, his hand practically burning a hole through my wrist. We sidestepped Mike as we exited the room and I gave him a look of ‘don’t say anything’. He pulled Chase’s signature eyebrow raise and smirked down at me.

Why do people enjoy smirking at me so much?

After being led down a few hallways, Billie stopped in front of some double doors.

“The stage is out there,” he said, waving his hand vaguely. “Candie and Chase are already out there somewhere.”

“What about Adie?” I couldn’t help asking.

“She usually stays backstage to watch the show,” He told me, playing with a few strands of his messy hair and rubbing the back of his ear. He finally let go of my wrist and that smirk returned. Again. “Rock your world,” he reminded, waggling his eyebrows. He then took off down the hallway and I was there to stare after him for a few seconds before I finally pushed open the doors to the deafening music and crowd chants.

It didn’t take me long to find Chase and Candie. I had to push myself through a few groups of people that were lingering in the back, but I found them easily enough. Apparently they’d chosen to wait out in the open so I wouldn’t have a difficult time locating them.

We then pushed ourselves through the mob of jumping, screaming Floridians to where we had a good view of the stage. The venue itself wasn’t very big in retrospect, but since I wasn’t an avid concert goer, it was spacious enough to me as I glanced around the place. There was a bar on the far end of the room, though I passed by plenty of teenagers so I assumed they sold food as well somewhere. I wasn’t able to get a good look at much of anything else since all the lights were directed to the small stage.

I had no idea who the band was that was currently performing and I had a feeling most of the people in the audience didn’t either, but the feel of the music alone was enough to make me start jumping around with everyone else.

I almost forgot how great it felt at concerts. I had the ability to just let go and enjoy myself with no cares in the world. I could push away all my problems to the back of my mind because fuck that, I’m going to have a good time and nothing’s going to stop me. That energy was so contagious, spreading from person to person that it made you feel invincible.

And I didn’t feel self-conscious or care what others thought about me or how I looked. None of that mattered. No one cared about anything but the music – that was all that was important.

“These guys are pretty good, right?” Candie shouted over the vibrations of the music. We were occasionally shoved from left to right, but it never got violent. I shouted a ‘yeah!’ in reply but since she wasn’t looking at me, she probably had no idea what I said or if I even replied. “I don’t even know who they are!” She felt the need to add, throwing her arms up in the air. “Woo!”

I laughed much harder than I intended to, having to stop jumping along with everyone else because I couldn’t bring myself to stop.

Candie laughed too, but looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “Did someone spike your water?” she asked and I couldn’t tell if she was serious or not.

I laughed again, but was able to resume jumping again after I was sure I wouldn’t pass out from the lack of oxygen reaching my brain.

“Are you okay?” I heard Chase shout right into my ear. His voice was a bit shaky like he’d been laughing along, too.

“I’m great!” I shouted, bobbing my head as the band-we-didn’t-know-the-name-of went into their third and final song. Truth be told, I wasn’t able to catch most of their lyrics since the lead singer seemed to be yelling and slurring his words together to form a whole other language, but the music was just so catchy that I couldn’t bring myself to care.

The song ended with the singer, guitarist and bassist jumping off a set of speakers in synch with the final note. Everyone applauded and cheered, though the noise was noticeably louder now that Green Day was to be playing next. The band thanked the crowd and bid everyone goodnight before hurtling off the stage and out of sight.

It was like no one had bothered taking a breath before they started chanting, “Green Day, Green Day, Green Day!”

The lights overhead dimmed and the screams, if possible, got even louder. I saw a few silhouettes scramble onto the stage and the lights flickered on again as Billie emerged, guitar slung over his shoulder and resting low on his hips. Mike was standing on his side of the stage with his bass and he grinned at the audience, catching a hat someone threw at him and put it on. Tre, for some unfathomable reason or another, had a pair of sunglasses on. He looked to be wearing the same tie-dye shirt I’d seen on him when we went bowling except the sleeves were mysteriously torn off.

“How are we fuckin’ doin’ tonight, Miami?” Billie’s voice echoed throughout the room as he carried the microphone stand to the front of the stage. There was a positive assortment of screams and cheers from the audience. Billie went on to thank the band that had some obscure name I forgot right after he mentioned it, then they went into their first song of the night he called, “Who Wrote Holden Caulfield?”

Through the duration of the first half, I felt like Candie and I were the only ones who weren’t singing along. Most of the songs were newer that I hadn’t heard yet, while only two were ones I’d recognized. Chase was apparently a big fan of theirs because he sang loudly to each song that was performed. I laughed at how off-key he was and he’d shove me for making fun of him.

Billie announced about halfway through that they’d be releasing a new album the following year. I cheered along with everyone else, making a mental note to buy all of their albums. They then rolled into a song that was going to be on the new album he called “Burnout”.

There were a few times throughout the concert that Billie’s eyes would wander and he’d spot me in the crowd. He’d wink at me like he was so fond of doing and give me a look that just screamed, “Told you I’d rock your world, didn’t I?” I would roll my eyes in response but I wouldn’t stop dancing along, which he seemed overtly pleased about.

By the end of the night I was nearly burning up. I’d long since pulled my hair up into a ponytail to keep from causing my neck to sweat even more. The band members’ conditions were no better. Tre had eventually yanked his sunglasses off in between songs and sat them on top of his head, but with how much he threw his head around, they’d flown off ages ago. Mike was wiping his forehead that was glistening under the smoldering stage lights and Billie had droplets of sweat sliding down his neck.

“This last song,” Billie started, breathing heavily into the microphone. The crowd shouted in disappointment once the second word left his mouth. “This last song,” he repeated. “Was written a couple years ago,” he furrowed his eyebrows, like he was trying to remember exactly when he’d written it. “I wrote it about a girl,” every girl in the room screamed and my eyes rolled of their own accord. “I don’t remember much about writing it,” he laughed and the crowd laughed along with him like they were in on the joke. “But wherever this girl is, this song’s still for you.”

My first assumption was that it was written for Adie, but he probably would’ve specified it like he had right before they performed a song called, “2,000 Light Years Away”.

The song was upbeat and Candie and I joined hands to dance along. The beginning was mainly an instrumental, but eventually Billie’s rough, worn voice began, “I wish I could tell you, but the words would come out wrong,” The good thing about Billie was that I could actually understand what he was saying. At least, most of the time. “Oh, if only you knew the way I felt for so long.”

He lifted his head from his guitar and his eyes found mine again. I expected a teasing grin like usual, but his eyes remained lock with mine. How he could put so much into a look while singing a song was beyond me. I was back to feeling like an experiment in a lab again as he watched me, the lyrics pouring out almost robotically like he didn’t even have to think in order to sing them.

“I know that we’re worlds apart, but I just don’t seem to care. These feelings in my heart, only with you I want to share.” He pulled his eyebrows together and looked away. “The first time I caught a glimpse of you, then my thoughts were only of you.”

I stopped jumping to catch my breath. I felt Chase stop as well and he stepped behind me a bit to let me lean against him. I felt his hands rest on my hips much like Billie had, but I didn’t think much of it. I continued to watch the blue-haired singer, Candie bouncing left and right like a hyperactive monkey next to me.

“I hope that when times goes by, you will think the same about me. Many nights awake I lie, I only wish that you could see,” Our eyes connected again and he held the gaze steady, purposefully not looking away. “I know that we’re only friends, I hope this feeling never ends.” For some reason, that line caused a déjà vu. I felt like I was back in high school again, with Chase’s arms around me and Billie’s eyes on me. Something about the situation seemed so familiar. “If I could only hold you, it’s the only thing I want to do.”

I felt something twist in my stomach as Billie’s eyebrows scrunched up. It was definitely by this point, if I hadn’t realized it before, that he wasn’t just looking at me to look at me. There was some sort of significance in his eyes, like he was trying to remember something. A cold chill raced up and down my spine and I cut myself short before I could even think about the possibility of what that meant.

I couldn’t stop looking at his eyes, though. There was just something in them that begged my attention. And he never looked away and as he uttered the final words,

“The first time I caught a glimpse of you, then my thoughts were only of you.”

But even then, I could tell that he was still a little smug.