Summer and Forever

Kevin left me after our little talk. I think he didn't know what to do anymore and I realized i'd made him feel guilty for breaking up with me.

I lay down on my back with my feet trailing in the lake water and closed my eyes. It was peaceful here. Nobody was yelling at me. Nobody was telling me what to do and nobody was confusing my emotions. It was so nice for a change.

The water lapping at my feet enticed me in and I followed the impulse, disappearing underneath the lake surface. Down here in the water it was alien yet tranquil. The water was blue all around and the mute sounds in my ears made me smile to myself.

I felt an odd sensation in my chest and remembered that I had to go up for air. For a second i was tempted not to. For a second it just seemed better to stay under here and not come up for air. Who needed air anyway?

I closed my eyes and remembered my mother and father on the day i'd gone off to music camp. It had been awkward as they both hugged me seperately and told me to look after myself. Above all, they warned me that i would have to pick between them when i came home and so that was my main duty here. I had to think about it.

The sensation in my chest was increasingly painful now and i felt annoyed. Couldn't I just die already? I opened my eyes and then closed them again.

Jordan's face flashed in my mind; his twisted face and purple tongue and wide eyes. I convulsed and realized I really was running out of air. In my mind's eye, the image of my brother turned to face me and his face transformed backto normal for a second. "Go up Sarai. Don't die yet."

I felt a rush of water from underneath me and my head broke the surface. I gasped in loud gulps of air and startled a few of the junior kids who hadn't realized anyone was down there.

"Are you alright?" They asked, slightly timid.

"Y...Yeah." I panted. They helped me into their boat and gave me a ride back to shore.

I ended up using the junior showers to dry myself off. I just couldn't face the Jonas brothers yet. I considered where i was going to sleep tonight and realized that i just couldn't face Ingrid and her knowing smirk as I told her it was over between us.

That night, I was going to have to suck it up and continue to sleep in the Jonas cabin.