Summer and Forever

I woke up in the bed i'd been sleeping in since arriving at the Jonas's place. I groaned and rolled onto my side only to notice Kevin sleeping in a chair right next to the bed. I stretched a hand out and shook his knee gently.

"Umph." He opened his eyes blearily and looked over at me.

"Hey." I said weakly.

"Hey." He got off the chair and sat on the bed next to me. The blankets were pulled down a bit and it got cold.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. How's Frankie?"

"He's fine. Mum went to the hospital with the others." In other words, we were alone. I smiled and sat up.

He leaned forward and rested his head on my shoulder. I understood how he was feeling. Shaken. He had almost lost his little brother last night.

I gently massaged some of the tension out of his shoulders and rubbed his back. "You doing okay?"

"Not really." He pulled away from me and lay on the bed with his head in my lap. My hands immediately went to his curls and I stroked them away from his face.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." He sighed and closed his eyes as I found a knot in his neck and began to work on it.

"Okay." I said easily. He just wanted to be loved at the moment. He wanted to be reassured that everyone he loved was still in the world and doing okay. I could understand that.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" He said sleepily. I realized guiltily he mustn't have had much sleep last night.

"Sure babe." "Who's Jordan?" My fingers froze on his neck and I stiffened. How did he know about Jordan?

He opened his eyes and looked up at me when he noticed my unresponsive posture.

"Sari?" He rolled onto his side and got up to look at me.

"How do you know about him?" I asked with a hint of frostiness in my voice. Had he been checking up on me? Had he been digging in my past?

"You were saying his name a lot last night." I heard the jealous undertone in that sentence as clear as day.

"He's not an ex boyfriend." I said reassuringly.

"Sure."

"He's not!"

"Your exact words were 'Jordan...love Jordan...don't leave me...' If that's not boyfriend material then I don't know what is." Kevin's face had turned to stone and his eyes had hardened beyond belief.

I understood that the exhaustion and shock were affecting his normally rational judement in this area but I still felt angry. I didn't feel like talking to Kevin about Jordan. Not just yet.

"He's someone from my past. I don't feel like talking about him yet okay?" I pleaded weakly.

"Fine." Kevin said coldly. He got off the bed and stalked out of the room. This was not how I wanted to spend our first time alone together so i got out of bed and followed him.

I was a little unsteady coming down the stairs as i'd slept so long but I did okay. "Kevin?" He didn't answer me. I found him in the kitchen just gripping the granite bench hard. His shoulders were hunched and tense and the look on his face was almost resembling a statue.

I sighed and wound my arms around him from behind. He stiffened even more but didn't do anything else.

"Jordan was my twin brother. He killed himself a few years ago. He's the reason I have permanenet white streaks in my hair. I still dream about him." I explained softly.

I hadn't wanted to tell him like this but it seemed it was going to be the only way I could tell him about it. Right now he was hurt and just needed reassurance of some kind. I understood that.

He turned in my arms and gently placed a finger underneath my chin. Lifting my face to meet his, he bent and kissed me. One of his hands grabbed me by the small of my back and pulled me closer while the other tangled in my hair.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and claimed his mouth with mine. His fingers slid underneath the hem of my shirt and I shivered at the skin contact.

"We shouldn't do this out here." I tried to reason. Kevin's response was to kiss my neck and gently bite me.

I gasped and pulled him tighter against me. His hand left my hair and both hands grabbed my legs to wrap them around his waist. When I was secure, he walked us up to my bedroom.

It seemed like he never ran out of breath. He laid me down on the bed and lay on top of me while keeping his lips on mine. His tongue traced the outline of my lips and demanded entrance.

We battled for control of the kiss until I had to pull away to breathe. He kissed my neck and kept going down, over my chest and onto my stomach.

Once he got down to my jeans line he paused. We were silent for a while and then I shook my head at him.

"No." I smiled. "We're not ready." He smiled back at me and kissed my stomach again. His teeth gently grazed me and he nibbled on my belly button ring which made me gasp and thrust my hips against him.

"Wicked boy." I smirked as he crawled back up to kiss my lips again. His hand went under my head and secured my mouth under his while his other hand slid up my shirt and over my breast.

His hand was so warm on my cold skin that i leaned into the touch. We stayed like that for a few seconds before he removed his hand and pulled away.

There was a guilty look in his eyes. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"About what?"

"Jumping to conclusions and..advancing on you."

"Did you hear me complaining?" He chuckled and lay down next to me. I had to catch my breath a bit.

"Well you were the one who had to stop us."

"You're just reacting to your brother's accident. Its alright Kevin."

"How do you know so much about loss and people's reactoins?" I went silent and he buried his face in my shoulder.

"RIght. Sorry."

"Yeah."

"Really. I'm acting like a jerk."

"S'alright." I sighed. I turned and snuggled into his chest. He wrapped one arm around me and rested his chin on the top of my head.

"Will your parents freak out if they find us like this?"

"They've found Joe doing worse."

"Like what? I thought he was still a vir-"

"He is. But he was fooling around with his girlfriend in the lounge and the parenst caught him. Not much they could say except remind him of his promise to himself."

"So they won't hate me."

"They'll never hate you. You juse saved their baby boy's life."

"Cool." I yawned. Fooling around was tiring. We lay there in silence for a few seconds.

"I've missed this." I admitted sleepily.

Kevin didn't reply.

"Kev?"

Still no reply. I looked up to see the big baby sleeping already. Man he must have been tired. I smiled and snuggled back into him.

If i dreamed that night, I don't remember. For the first time, I couldn't remember my dreams.