Summer and Forever

Kevin was going to say goodbye to Nick, Joe and Bertranna for me. I said goodbye to Frankie and Denise all by myself.

Frankie was sad to see me go. He cried a lot and hugged my leg. I nearly cried myself.

Denise had arranged a flight home and called a cab for me which made me smile even though i was screaming inside. Kevin had disappeared into his room and wasn't talking to anyone.

We didn't say goodbye to each other. I think it was for the best.

I mean, if i'd had to say goodbye to the one guy that i really loved i think i would have broken down in front of everyone.

I got in the cab and shut the door. I looked out the window and saw the curtains move back. Kevin's face stared down at me. Our eyes locked and the lump in my throat grew. For a second i almost told the taxi guy to wait while I went up there and said some proper goodbye stuff to him but the taxi squealed out and i was sitting there, alone, convincing myself this was for the better.

The airplane ride back home was lonely. I remembered falling asleep on Kevin in first class after that pervert had groped me.

I couldn't help but wrapping my arms around myself and smiling as i recalled the feel of his arms around my waist, just holding me because he could. When we touched down I realized my parents didn't even know i was coming. They didn't answer the phone when i called in so i was forced to take another taxi there.

***

My parents house was just as big, cold and ugly as i remembered it. I realized i had been gone from the place for almost nine months. It surprised me how it still looked the same. It was uninviting. I thanked the taxi driver and grabbed my gear.

He sped off without a backwards glance and I had never felt more abandoned. The day had been going so well and now...now I was...home.

***

"Hello?" The front door opened really easily.

"Well well well." My mother stalked over to me, swaying slightly. I could tell she was smashed off her face.

"Hey mum." I sighed. This was different. I missed Denise. She was a real mother.

"The prodigal...*hic*...bitch returnsshh." She slurred, swaying into me.

I grabbed her and let her down gently. "Where's dad?"

"The old bashtard buggered off with anosha bitchsshhh." She hiccupped and giggled.

"What about your boyfriend."

"I got tired of fucking him." She said to me in a completely sober, very tired voice. I was speechless. "I fucked his brains out. He fucked my brains out. He gave me orgasms beyond my wildest dreams and it turns out that its all in the name of fucking."

She let her head flop back until i was the only thing holding her up in a sitting position.

"Come on Ma." I groaned as I pulled her to an awkward standing position. "Let's get you cleaned up."

***

It took me four hours but finally my mother was washed and wearing regular mum clothes. She was lying in bed, fast asleep in what used to be my parents bed. Now I guessed it was hers.

I watched her sadly for a second. Was this what i was going to turn out into? A miserable whore?

I shook my head as i turned out the lights and let the door shut behind me.

***

My father came home three days later. Apparently they still shared the house. The Judge had refused to see them after they disrupted his court.

My mother drank herself stupid every night and collapsed into bed.

My father came home with a different chick every night, making sure to let my mother see it.

I just stood by and cleaned up the mess.

Jordan seemed to be staring at me from every corner of this house. I'd thought i'd finally escape his shadow. Now I had landed back in it and i had nobody else to blame but myself.

"Kevin I hope you get this amazing girl that stands by you no matter what and...and she doesn't have the same messed up thoughts as me." I prayed every night before i went to sleep.

Every night I would hear my mother crying and my father screaming bloody murder at something or other.

Every night I pictured Kevin's face in my mind. I thought of nobody but the boy I loved; the boy i'd left behind.