Love Is Watching Someone Die

The days went on too slowly, and every memory and emotion was mixed for both Frank and Gerard. They were having a hard time being away from each other and hiding their love. They tired to go to each other’s houses as frequently as humanly possible, but it didn’t always work. That Sunday, the boys were just fortunate enough to have a Bible Study meeting. There weren’t many kids that came, and usually it was just the three boys because everyone else were either devoted couples or retired folks. That was when Frank and Gerard decided to tell Mikey their biggest and probably one the their most life changing secrets.

“Hey Frank.” Gerard smiled warmly, giving him a hug as he got into the house. He was clad in a black leather jacket, faded blue jeans, a black and red t-shirt and Gerard’s black and gray scarf.

“Hey there Frankie.” Mikey welcomed him as well. “Where’s your mom?”

“Oh, she’s getting something from the car, it won’t be long.” Frank replied. “Gee, let’s go to your room!” He said anxiously before Gerard pulled him in the opposite direction.

“No, that would be rude. Let’s just say hi or something first, grab some of that good looking cake on the counter, then go to my room.” Gerard always had the best proposals and Frank nodded, taking a seat between the two brothers on the living room sofa. Frank rested his hand on Gerard’s thigh purposely, before Gerard tried to brush it off. “Behave,” he warned and Frank just giggled, doing it again.

“Sorry.” He smirked as other people started walking into the living room. Linda and Donna, Frank and Gerard’s mothers, were close friends so on the other side of the room they were speaking something in Italian, probably gossip like usual. Other parents started coming in, as well as other people that Frank didn’t quite recognize. “Who are these people?”

“I don’t know. Probably new people to the church or something like that. I don’t know them.” Gerard looked around and then decided to ask Mikey, “Hey bro, you know any of these people?”

“Um, no, not really…”

“Oh, okay. Just asking.

“Yeah, I’m kind of confused too, so don’t worry,” Mikey was waving at people awkwardly.

“Can we please go Gee?” Frank was begging, due to the fact that he was getting an erection already.

“Frank, c’mon. Just wait.” Gerard was firm in his decision.

“Gerard!” Frank looked down at his pants, informing Gerard and he laughed.

“It’s your fault dude. Go to the bathroom or something and fix it.”

“You’re coming with me.” Frank dragged Gerard by the hand, but then didn’t exactly go to the bathroom.

“Hey, Frank. Bathroom is that way,” he pointed to the right.

“Yeah, I know,” he smirked, “But we’re not going there.” He led Gerard into his bedroom, pushing him onto the bed.

‘Frank! Seriously. Someone might hear.”

“I don’t give a shit.” He started kissing a trail down Gerard’s neck and he moaned softly.

“Mmm, Frank.”

“You like that?”

“Yeah, hell yeah.” Gerard was taken by emotions now and basically said, “Screw you!” to all his self control. Frank was the only thing he was focused on now, and he doubted that anything could change that. Gerard’s hands unbuttoned and unzipped Frank’s jeans, almost completely freeing his erection. He rubbed the spot that felt best for Frank, palming through boxers. Frank groaned and moaned, gripping at Gerard’s hair and trying not to lose control so fast. Resulting in a sticky mess, Gerard leant him a pair of clean boxers, and kissed him lightly.

“Thanks Gerard.” Frank said with a grin. “How about we continue that later?”

“Fine. Let’s just get back up there before they worry and find something suspicious.” Gerard pushed Frank out the door before they found that still not everyone was there yet. They both sighed in relief, until they noticed a guy talking with Mikey in the kitchen area.

“Why the fuck is Jack here?” Frank mumbled under his breath.

“Who?” Gerard asked.

“Jack, total prick from school. Complete homophobe. We had a fight earlier this week.” He ambled over to Jack and Mikey, telling Gerard to not get so close.

“Hey Mikes,” Frank patted his shoulder. “Oh, whoa. What’s up Jack?” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Frank the faggot Iero.” Jack scowled, “Here to rape Mikey I assume?”

“Well I bet you had the same thought bastard.” Frank was never that great at comebacks, but he had the attitude to make up for it.

“At least I’m not a filthy fag like you.” He spit and walked away.

“God do I hate that guy.” Mikey commented after Jack was out of earshot, “What’s his problem anyways?”

“Homophobe much?” Frank didn’t know if he was completely ready to tell Mikey that he was dating his brother. It just seemed too weird for all of this.

“It’s probably ‘cause I beat him out for captain,” Mikey sighed, “But I don’t know why he’s taking it out on you.”

Gerard joined the conversation, “I know he’s gay. He’s just afraid to show it.”

“Shut up Gerard, he’ll hear you.” Frank hushed him.

“Like I give a damn. He has no right to be bashing someone cause ‘they’re gay. It’s not fair.” Usually, Gerard didn’t have much to say, but obviously, this was something that he couldn’t let go. “Mikey, I think we need to talk to you.” He pulled Frank and Mikey aside and up the stairs where no one would hear them.

“What? We’re telling him now?” Frank whispered as they climbed the stairs.

“Yes Frankie. Don’t be ashamed.”

“I’m not Gee, it’s just that…” Frank stammered.

“Just what?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready yet.” He let a tear slip down his cheek, but Gerard didn’t notice it.

“It’ll be fine. Seriously, Mikey’s not going to judge you.” Gerard reassured him, squeezing his hand as they settled.

“So guys, why exactly am I up here?” Mikey followed, sitting on the gray-carpeted floor with the other two boys across from him.

“Um, Gerard, go ahead.” Frank insisted, being too shy himself.

“Mikey… you know that I’m…” he paused, “Gay. Right?”

“Yeah Gee, it’s not that big of news. Besides, I knew that before, I just kind of figured it out after all those dates I’d set you up on being a total disaster,” Mikey tried laughing.

“Well, it goes further than that now.” He looked at Frank and smiled. Taking Frank’s hand in his, and squeezing, they both saw the look in Mikey’s eyes. It was a mix of shock and somewhat happiness.

“Gerard is my boyfriend,” Frank looked at Mikey, attempting to read his emotions, “I love him Mikes.”

“I love Frank too.” Gerard kept their hands together.

“I-I… Oh god… I mean…” Mikey stuttered over and over, “Y-You guys… Oh my god.”

“Sorry to spring it on you like this bro.” Gerard comforted.

“N-No, it’s alright. But… wow. T-That’s so awesome!” Mikey smiled, making his way over to give both of them a tight hug. “I’m happy for you guys you know.”

“Thanks dude.” Frank hugged him back when Gerard finally released his hand.

“Thanks bro… for y’know, not freaking out.”

“Why the hell would I freak out? I’m not homophobic like Jack down there.”

“Just ‘cause… I’m your brother and Frank is one of your best friends… I guess… I mean I would freak out.” Gerard was trying to make sense of what he was saying.

“Gerard and Frank, it sounds so cute,” he giggled.

“Glad you think so.” Gerard kissed Frank on the cheek.

“Just one rule please,” he added, “Don’t kiss or do anything awkward in front of me please. Oh, and I’d really rather not hear moans in the middle of the night either if you know what I mean.”

“Got it Mikes. Sorry.” Gerard patted his brother’s shoulder.

“Let’s get back down before our parents think we’ve gone AWOL.” Frank suggested, getting up, heading back down the stairs. Gerard and Mikey were down in a second, and they all gathered at the living room area. Jack sat on the opposite side of the three boys, and obviously would rather not associate with them. His parents sat there as well as other people, ranging in all ages. There were even some parents with toddlers and infants, as well as seniors and caregivers. It was amazing that they all gathered here just to read and discuss stories in an old book. Frank never thought highly of the Bible, but he knew some of its meanings. Gerard and Mikey barely knew anything about it, though, they listened anyways.

“…And God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth." One man said, as all the younger children stifled giggles. Even Frank was having problems holding back some laughs.

The verse was finished, and Gerard asked to be excused. Before Frank was about to leave with him, he saw Jack glaring and giving them an evil smirk. He asked to be excused as well, and followed Frank. “I knew you were Iero. Always did.”

“Knew what Jack?” he retorted.

“That you were a closet fag.”

“And prey tell, how did you figure that out?”

“Let’s just say, I overhead something.” He raised his eyebrows as Frank’s eyes went wide.
“Shut up you prick. You don’t have anything on me.” Frank was struggling.

“Yeah I do. Just wait until everyone at school knows about this.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

“Yeah, you wish, faggot scum.” He walked back into the living room.

Tears streamed down Frank’s cheeks as he ran into Gerard’s basement room. He couldn’t help it. He was about to be ruined by the most homophobic asshole in his entire grade, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it at all. He collapsed on Gerard’s bed, and beside him, lay Gerard. “Frankie! Oh god! What happened?” he took Frank in his arms and began to wipe tears with his shirt.

“It’s Jack. H-He’s… gonna tell everyone… that I’m gay Gerard! Fuck!” He continued to cry as Gerard soothed him by stroking his hair and giving him the softest of kisses.

“Let it out babe.” Frank heard him call him “babe.” It was new, and unexpected. He blushed slightly at the nickname between all the tears, “It’s okay to cry.”

“Gerard… I-I don’t know what to do.”

“Frankie, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I just… I don’t want you to get hurt because of me Gerard.” He kept crying.

“Don’t be crazy. I’ll be fine, but I’m worried about you. I don’t want things happening to you because Jack just wanted his revenge.” He kept on trying to calm Frank, “We’ll find a way. I promise.”

Frank pecked Gerard’s lips, “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Gerard started to kiss Frank with more force, putting his hands behind Frank’s head, leaning in. Frank’s hands found their way around Gerard’s waist and into his button up shirt, tracing lines up and down his back. They slowly made their way forward, unsnapping each button and exposing Gerard’s perfectly pale abs. He smiled and then started kissing down Gerard’s neck, hearing soft, stifled moans.

“God Frankie… you’re too good.” He panted, starting to get hotter. He made sure Frank was stripped of his shirt too, and they started clawing at each other’s belts. Frank’s was off first and his jeans slide down after as he kicked them to the bedroom floor. Gerard’s followed and each breath taken was becoming more and more labored. Were they going to take it this far tonight already? Frank wasn’t so sure about it, and neither was Gerard, both not knowing what to do exactly. Their naked bodies lay together, groping and moaning to touch and taste every part of each other.

They lay together for what seemed like a long time, fitting each other like a mold. Nothing had really happened, but they enjoyed each other’s company nonetheless. Frank could hear Gerard’s heartbeat strong and clear as he lay silently beneath him, sleeping soundly. Frank was so glad that he had Gerard here, but also, he was scared for his life. Scared that everything he previously knew could be destroyed, because he finally found someone that he loved. He knew he’d have to do and go through a lot of things if he wanted this to work. But he knew that even if he’d have to die for this, he’d do it.

“Gee, wake up. It’s eight-thirty,” Frank whispered into his ear tenderly, making sure to nibble the shell of his earlobe.

He yawned, “Really?”

“Yeah, I think I need to go soon.” He told Gerard softly, kissing down his jaw line.

“Don’t go babe. You can stay as long as you keep doing that.” He chuckled softly as Frank pulled away, jumping off the bed and grabbing his clothes on the floor. He struggled getting them on as Gerard’s stare was practically burning a hole in him. It was like Frank was actually embarrassed by himself to be seen like this. “You don’t need to be ashamed…” Gerard could tell Frank was uncomfortable, “You look great.”

“T-Thanks…” He said shyly, throwing a shirt and boxers at Gerard. “Put these on before Mikey bursts through the door and we get busted."

“Like I could care. I think Mikey would be okay seeing me naked. I am his brother after all.” Siblings had pretty much seen it all, and didn’t really care.

“But I wouldn’t want you exposed to the world.” Frank came over to him and licked his lips before colliding them with Gerard’s sucking on the other boy’s lips for entrance.

Frank then broke away and left Gerard hanging. “I’m gonna go… follow me up later or something.”

“Yeah, sure.” Gerard let out a sigh, trying to piece his thoughts together. He had always been really lost when it came to the dating game, but now that he had Frank, things were taking a turn for the better. Everything was starting to fit and the puzzle was getting completed again. He started to have hope; something that seemed like it was lost a long time ago. He couldn’t explain how good it felt to have the hope renewed. His eyes no longer vacant, but he had something to live for again, like he mattered to someone.

Gerard put on the rest of his clothes and smoothed out his hair with a comb, trying not to have the obvious sex hair. He frowned at himself in his mirror, but decided it was good enough. After all, he did look the same as when he came in.

Getting upstairs, he found Frank and Mikey talking, drinking Cokes at the dinner table. Everyone else, including Jack had left, and he was glad about it, as was Frank. They all agreed that they couldn’t stand him and that one day, they would have their ultimate revenge. Homophobia was something that they hated all with a passion, and was one of the reasons why they couldn’t stick to the Catholic faith. They hated hearing about how gay marriage was “unnatural” and how marriage was “always supposed to be between a man and a woman.” It was just stupid, because they all knew that love was love, no matter what. Gerard and Frank held hands under the table, but no one seemed to notice, and that was good enough for them, at least for now.

The rest of the week at school was more or less uneventful, as the days went faster than expected. What all pisses them off was block switches though, when the usual “ABCD” became “BCDA.” Pointless and annoying, but they had to live with it. Frank and Mikey avoided Jack all week, just sitting together with Alicia and their other friend, Bob Bryar. Gerard was sitting with Ray Toro, one of his classmates from Biology class with the best Afro they’d ever seen. It was almost an orange color, but it was hard to tell. Frank usually met up with Gerard after school, exchanging notes and kisses, trying not to get noticed. He also wanted to come over to Gerard’s house on the Friday night, so they could finally take things another step. The sexual tension had been too great to resist for much longer, and they both knew it.

Friday’s classes came and went, time flying by fast. They never knew what happened, but they didn’t care. Mikey was taking Alicia out on a date, so they Gerard agreed to drive them to the movie house so he could be alone with his boyfriend in the empty house. Frank smirked once they got back, knowing exactly what he wanted, and what he wanted to do. Gerard was thinking something more romantic though, but it was all along the same lines.

“Gerard…” Frank said slowly as he got up from the covers.

“Yeah babe?” The nickname seemed to stick well.

“W-What do you think about… sex?” He was feeling awkward now, asking that question to his best friend.

“I-I don’t know… I love you Frank, and I trust you.”

“So do I but…” Frank needed to ask the right questions now, or never, “Have you ever had sex before? I mean… not with like just guys…”

“No.” He bit his lip, embarrassed because of his virginity.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed Gee…”

“H-Have you Frankie?” he tried to divert the questioning from himself.

“Nothing more than kissing… but does that matter?” he waited a second, “Gerard, I just want to know if we need to use condoms, cause I really would rather not. If you and I are clean… it should be fine right?”

“I wouldn’t know, but even if we did get something, I’d never leave you.” Gerard answered truthfully.

“Neither would I.”

“So w-” Gerard sentence was cut off with Frank’s lips. He could help it that he was a horny teenage boy, trying to get his way with his boyfriend. Gerard wasn’t so much in the mood, but that was easily changed when Gerard shirt flew to the floor and resulted in Frank’s warm, wet tongue, ravishing every part of his chest and abdomen. Gerard’s body reacted like it should of, with shivers and shakes of pleasure. Frank knew that he liked it, and was enjoying it equally. Gerard was sweet, and tasted like no other. Discarding his shirt too, they picked themselves up and stumbled clumsily into the bedroom, where Gerard was pushed onto the soft mattress of his bed. Frank climbed on top, wanting dominance and wanting to take Gerard right there and then, but he knew that Gerard should have a choice.

“Top or bottom?” Frank whispered, just to make sure.

“Take me Frankie.” He said breathlessly, and Frank knew exactly what he meant. He freed Gerard’s erection first, and then got rid of the rest of his own garments. They both lay there, glistening in sweat, crotches grinding hard and pelvic areas growing tighter. Frank realized that Gerard was bigger than him, but it didn’t matter now. Taking a bottle of lube from under the mattress, which he’d strategically placed there before, he smirked, getting Gerard to spread his legs to allow entrance. He slipped in his fingers slowly, trying to prepare him as much as possible. His fingers wouldn’t be barely enough, but it was a start.

“Oh, Frank… Ah…” Gerard groaned as he felt his insides protesting the stretch.

“Shhh… I’m sorry Gee, this will only take a minute.” He promised, taking his time, making sure it wouldn’t hurt so much. “Y-You okay?” Frank sawed Gerard’s pained face.

“Yeah, I’m f-fine… go ahead…” he grunted, trying not to show so much pain. “Go slow babe… please.”

“O-Okay…” Frank lubed himself up, and then inserting slowly himself into Gerard slowly, he heard a scream. “Gerard! Oh fuck.” Frank started to panic.

“K-keep… going…” Gerard felt like his insides were being torn up, slowly and like something was snapping. He fought back the tears and pain, biting his lip and digging his nails into the sheets so hard they turned a shade of blue-white.

“Gerard, I’m hurting you.” Frank whined.

“Baby, go. I-I’ll be… okay.” Frank slid out and in again, but there was no change. Gerard still felt like he was dying inside. Frank needed this to get somewhere, so he changed his angle and pushed in, and it started to feel a bit better for him, and hopefully for Gerard.

“How’s that?”

“B-Better…” he stuttered, as the pain was numbing, but still no pleasure. Frank increased speed and changed angles again, now getting deeper than before. “God! Fuck! T-That’s…” Gerard screamed to the high heavens.

Frank was relieved he finally did something right. Slamming in and out again, he managed to make a solid rhythm, but was losing control just as fast. He then realized that Gerard erections was leaking like crazy, and grabbed onto it, timing everything perfectly. Gerard arched his back and was moaning Frank’s name over and over, along with a string of profanities.

They came together and landed in a sticky, sweaty mess. Both of them had never felt anything so amazing in their lives before, and were glad finally they had someone to share that happiness with. As long as they were together, they felt like no one could stop them.

Going upstairs to the bathroom, Gerard turned on the shower water to hot and they jumped in together, getting at each other’s bodies as much as they could. Using shampoo and body gel as an excuse to have some more fun. “You know if my parents come home I’m screwed?” Gerard laughed, massaging Frank’s hair forming mountains of bubbles and suds.

“You already got screwed honey, by yours truly. Enough for one night.” Frank smiled sarcastically.

Gerard slapped his ass hard and he whimpered, “You’re such a bad, bad boy.”

“That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be allowed to sit for the next day!”

“Well, I probably won’t be able to either, so suck it up princess.” Gerard saw Frank pout and give a sad look. “Save it for your mother.”