Destination Beautiful
VII What Happened?
It was him. The moment he turned his head to see who’d spoken to him I knew it was him. I would’ve recognized those green sparkly eyes just about anywhere. Only it seemed that the brightness in them I’d spotted last time had vanished. Something was wrong with him, and I couldn’t help but feel for him. Strange really, I barely knew the guy, and I certainly didn’t know what or if anything was wrong at all. It was just one of those feelings I got.
He smiled the most fake smile I’d ever seen in my life.
“Oh hey,” he said. “sorry, I didn’t see you.”
“That’s okay.”
I glared over at him from time to time, desperately wanting to know what had struck him so hard. He had seemed so confident just a few days ago, in comparison to me. But right now he just seemed broken down, like every bit that made out who he was suddenly was taken away from him. But I couldn’t just ask what was wrong. I hated it, when people asked me if something was wrong. Yes, something’s wrong, does it look like it’s your business? I didn’t think so. So really, me asking him what was wrong would be just a bit contradictious from my side. Besides, I didn’t even dare asking him.
***
Billie Joe sat down on the park bench that was drenched in the bright warm sunlight the Berkeley fall brought along. He sighed and stared at his feet. What the hell had just happened there? Had he misheard things? As much as he hoped so, he knew he hadn’t. Her voice still buzzed in his ears. The laughs, the giggles, the whispers.
What happened Adie?
Suddenly, he heard someone calling out his name. As he looked aside he immediately recognized her. Morgan. A sense of relief overwhelmed him, and he wasn’t even sure why. He did his best to smile.
***
As I’d been glaring at him, Billie Joe seemed to be staring at his feet the whole time. Until he suddenly let out a sigh.
“Seriously,” he said.
“Am I really that worthless to get cheated on?”
I looked at him.
No. I would never cheat on you.
So that was it. He had a girlfriend. And she’d cheated on him. Looking at the state of him now, he must love her deeply. Well, I suppose it must hurt, getting cheated on by someone you love. Love for me was never a subject to say much about. There I was, nineteen years old, and I didn’t know what love was. Never before had I gotten the opportunity to experience what it meant to love, and to be loved in return. I didn’t even know what it was like to be in love. But I could imagine pretty damn well what it must be like if the one you love cheated on you. Or at least, I had the feeling I could. You lose a loved one. It’s as if part of you fades.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I had no idea what to say to this guy.
“She called him babe,” he said.
“Babe. And she probably thought I wouldn’t even hear it.”
He seemed to be speaking more to himself as to me at that moment, and I was still trying to figure out how to react, and if I had to react at all.
“Well I fucking did, Adrienne! I fucking heard you and that fucking bastard!”
In anger, Billie Joe kicked away some gravel, causing the sand to drift off slowly in the wind. He picked up a pebble, only to throw it away some feet further, mixed emotions raging in his head. He was angry, he was sad, he was confused, he was dumbstruck, he was in love. He loved his girl, it couldn’t just be over like that. She was his destiny. He was going to spend his life with her. She would come over to California and all would be fine.
“Youknow,” he said, “I was gonna ask her to come out here. I was, she would come to California. Distance just doesn’t work. So she’d come here, that would be easiest, with the record and all. And then she..”
I looked at Billie Joe and saw the change in his eyes. No, no this couldn’t be happening. Not him. Not again, once a week was enough. He said he knew what it’s like, he knew what to do. I didn’t. I wonder if he knew right now.
“What if she started it? What if she’s the one who began a relationship. And all the times I tried to call her.. she’d been with him.. And she would never.. but she said that-“
Soon enough, Billie Joe’s heart began to race in his chest. He got up, panting, trying to escape, get away from his thoughts. He closed his eyes for a moment, holding his head in his hands, as if by that the thoughts would go out and his sudden headache would fade.
As he opened his eyes again, he noticed Morgan had gotten up from the bench. He could see her lips moving as she called out his name, but he could only hear her voice somewhere far in the distance, almost too faint to even make out the words.
He smiled the most fake smile I’d ever seen in my life.
“Oh hey,” he said. “sorry, I didn’t see you.”
“That’s okay.”
I glared over at him from time to time, desperately wanting to know what had struck him so hard. He had seemed so confident just a few days ago, in comparison to me. But right now he just seemed broken down, like every bit that made out who he was suddenly was taken away from him. But I couldn’t just ask what was wrong. I hated it, when people asked me if something was wrong. Yes, something’s wrong, does it look like it’s your business? I didn’t think so. So really, me asking him what was wrong would be just a bit contradictious from my side. Besides, I didn’t even dare asking him.
***
Billie Joe sat down on the park bench that was drenched in the bright warm sunlight the Berkeley fall brought along. He sighed and stared at his feet. What the hell had just happened there? Had he misheard things? As much as he hoped so, he knew he hadn’t. Her voice still buzzed in his ears. The laughs, the giggles, the whispers.
What happened Adie?
Suddenly, he heard someone calling out his name. As he looked aside he immediately recognized her. Morgan. A sense of relief overwhelmed him, and he wasn’t even sure why. He did his best to smile.
***
As I’d been glaring at him, Billie Joe seemed to be staring at his feet the whole time. Until he suddenly let out a sigh.
“Seriously,” he said.
“Am I really that worthless to get cheated on?”
I looked at him.
No. I would never cheat on you.
So that was it. He had a girlfriend. And she’d cheated on him. Looking at the state of him now, he must love her deeply. Well, I suppose it must hurt, getting cheated on by someone you love. Love for me was never a subject to say much about. There I was, nineteen years old, and I didn’t know what love was. Never before had I gotten the opportunity to experience what it meant to love, and to be loved in return. I didn’t even know what it was like to be in love. But I could imagine pretty damn well what it must be like if the one you love cheated on you. Or at least, I had the feeling I could. You lose a loved one. It’s as if part of you fades.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I had no idea what to say to this guy.
“She called him babe,” he said.
“Babe. And she probably thought I wouldn’t even hear it.”
He seemed to be speaking more to himself as to me at that moment, and I was still trying to figure out how to react, and if I had to react at all.
“Well I fucking did, Adrienne! I fucking heard you and that fucking bastard!”
In anger, Billie Joe kicked away some gravel, causing the sand to drift off slowly in the wind. He picked up a pebble, only to throw it away some feet further, mixed emotions raging in his head. He was angry, he was sad, he was confused, he was dumbstruck, he was in love. He loved his girl, it couldn’t just be over like that. She was his destiny. He was going to spend his life with her. She would come over to California and all would be fine.
“Youknow,” he said, “I was gonna ask her to come out here. I was, she would come to California. Distance just doesn’t work. So she’d come here, that would be easiest, with the record and all. And then she..”
I looked at Billie Joe and saw the change in his eyes. No, no this couldn’t be happening. Not him. Not again, once a week was enough. He said he knew what it’s like, he knew what to do. I didn’t. I wonder if he knew right now.
“What if she started it? What if she’s the one who began a relationship. And all the times I tried to call her.. she’d been with him.. And she would never.. but she said that-“
Soon enough, Billie Joe’s heart began to race in his chest. He got up, panting, trying to escape, get away from his thoughts. He closed his eyes for a moment, holding his head in his hands, as if by that the thoughts would go out and his sudden headache would fade.
As he opened his eyes again, he noticed Morgan had gotten up from the bench. He could see her lips moving as she called out his name, but he could only hear her voice somewhere far in the distance, almost too faint to even make out the words.