Is That Your Reason or Your Excuse?

We all sat around a table that sat right in front of the Taco Bell mini restaurant. It had been over 45 minutes and the rest of the boys still hadn't showed up. I could tell that Valary wasn't too happy about it. I could feel the apprehension coming out of her like heat waves. Even Matt was getting a little edgy as he held his arm around her. I could see his arm twitching a little, as if he was trying to decide whether to tighten his grip on her or release her completely.

"Those boys better get back here within the next five minutes or we're leaving their butts here," Valary said as she slurped her soda.

"Babe, calm down. I'm sure they'll be back any minute," Matt said as he rubbed his hands up and down her arm.

"You said that twenty minutes ago and they still haven't gotten back. I'm about to raid every stupid bathroom in the building until I find them."

"Dude, that could take all night!" Johnny complained.

"Do you have a better idea?" Valary said as she threw daggers at him with her eyes.

"Um…no."

"I'll help you, Valary." I offered.

Her anguished eyes softened as they landed upon me. A smile stretched across her face, it was almost scary how quickly her emotions could change like that but I didn't show my discomfort.

"Thank you, sweetie. Come on, Matt, let's go." She said as she abruptly got up.

"Where are we going?" He asked as he stood up with her.

"To look for your idiot friends," She said as she stomped away from the table. Matt quickly followed her and Johnny and I helplessly followed behind them. We walked to the entrance we first came through and looked in one of the nearby bathrooms but no such luck finding the guys. We searched another set of bathrooms a few ways ahead but they weren't there either. I could see Valary's eyes shaking violently as she tried to maintain her anger. She kept complaining to Matt about how they were suppose to leave in an hour if they wanted to make to the next show in time, like he could magically make the missing boys appear.

"Matt call them on your cell again," Valary said agitated.

Matt nodded and obliged but after holding the small cellular device in his hands he shook his head dismissively. "Still not answering."

"Dangit!" She groaned. "Well lets just go back to the van. They'll probably show up there sooner or later."

"Um, well first can I go to the bathroom?" Matt asked.

"Yeah me too," Johnny said.

Valary sighed but nodded. "Yeah, I have to go too anyways. Do you have to go too, Amy?"

I shook my head. "I'll just go back to the van if that's okay with you guys."

Matt nodded and handed me the keys. "Here ya go."

"You sure you know where the van is parked?" Matt asked.

I nodded even though my answer wasn't precise but I still left. As I made my way out of the mall and to the parking lot, I inwardly groaned. I kind of had an image of where the van laid but as I stood their staring at the thousands of color cars, that imaged began to blur. I wasn't really sure where the van was or if I could even find it. I was positive I'd get lost in this massive parking lot if I continued but I did so anyways.

I clutched the car keys tightly as I looked up and down the rows of car to find the familiar black van. I didn't know how long I was searching but I was soon about to give up. My feet were aching and my legs were burning. The late California heat was damping my new clothes and I didn't think I'd ever find the van. But suddenly, I heard a few familiar voices. I quickly made my way to the sound and sighed heavily with relief as I saw the three missing boys next to the black van. I smiled slightly as I made my way towards them but my whole face fell when I realized that something wasn't exactly right with them. As I got closer, I could see what was wrong. I smelled an odor of alcohol and the unforgettable smell of weed. They were all out of their minds completely and undeniably. I was suddenly nervous.

Jimmy laid on the ground laughing with his long legs on the side of the van, hitting it every so often with every laughing outburst. Brian was hunched over Zacky because without Zacky's support I don't think Brian could even stand. Brian was also yelling random things to the all the passersby as Zacky and Jimmy laughed. And if Zacky wasn't laughing he was gulfing down the bottle of alcohol that he had clutched to his hands.

I had an idea to go back to the mall and find Valary and the other two boys because I didn't want to be with these three alone, but it was already too late because Jimmy spotted me.

"Hey look guys! It's Zacky's bitch!"

Of course they all busted into small fits of giggles at Jimmy's outburst and this only made me feel more uncomfortable. I really didn't want to be here. Why did I decide to go back here all alone, anyways? Why was I so careless? I think I could've cried right then.

Zacky looked over at me with a smile that sent shivering pulses through my body. It was the same smile he gave me a couple of nights ago before he kissed me. Now I really wished I didn't make the decision to come here alone.

He slowly walked over to me, leaving Brian to stand on his own. Which didn't go well because he stumbled back onto the van and slid down to the ground, causing his hat to move to the front of his face, until his butt hit the hard gravel ground. He made a certain 'oomph' sound as he did so. He mumbled something into his hat that now covered his face causing both him and Jimmy to laugh.

Suddenly I felt an arm wrap around my waist. I turned away from Brian and Jimmy and looked at Zacky who was dangerously close. I could smell the alcohol on his breathe, the same as I could last time, and the awful smell of weed. The mixture of the two wasn't great and caused a small migraine.

"What are doing Zack?" I asked fretfully, but he didn’t answer.

He dropped the empty plastic bottle to the ground. I could hear the bottle bounce of the ground but I didn’t dare look at it, I was too scared to look away from Zacky's grinning face. Before I could even register what was going on he crashed his lips to mine, attacking them hungrily.

This time I didn't waste time to pull away. I managed to distance my face from his.

"Please stop," I murmured. The whole while I could hear the other too laughing. I didn't know if they were laughing at us or their own negligible amusement.

"Oh come on, Amy. You know you want this," He slurred.

"I don't get what your saying, Zacky." I said as I still attempted to push him away, but he only pulled me closer.

"Don't fight it, Amy."

And so I didn't. I let him do what he wanted, just like before. Even though I was scared, I knew it was just easier then struggling. I could feel his warm fingers on the back of my neck as he pushed his lips to mine once more. I could feel the pulsing that irritated my ears that was caused from my own heart beat. And I could also feel the wet tears that streamed down my face.

What was going on?

"What the hell man?" We could here Matt's strong voice from afar.

A quick gasp of air entered my bruised lips as Zacky parted away from me.

"Oh come on, he was just having some fun. Cut him some slack," Brian said laughing.

"Yeah lets all get all along. No need for violence," Jimmy hiccupped.

"Dammit Zacky, get away from her," Valary said as she ran towards me. She pushed Zacky away who fumbled back a little before regaining his balance completely. As Valary pulled me into her arms I could hear her whispers small apologies. Of course I shook my head, it wasn't her fault after all.

I pulled away from Valary as politely as I could. I walked over to Matt and gave him back his keys. As he took the keys, I could see his menacing eyes flashing to the three intoxicated boys every so often. Everything was suddenly quiet and I could feel the tension. I really didn't want to be here now.

"Come on, Matt. Let's just get out of here," Valary said. "Johnny do you mind driving?"

Johnny shook his heads and took the keys. He opened the van and we all piled in. Jimmy and Brian of course had a few issues before they could fully get in. Both were giggling, hiccupping, and nearly falling with every step. Me and Valary were the last ones to go in, along with Matt. The three of us had to help the toxicated boys in the van.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do with them, Matt." Valary said shaking her head in dismay.

"Don't worry, I'll talk to them tomorrow."

Valary sighed. "No. It's no use, you can't stop them. But if they don't quit, your bands not going to make it very far."

Matt puffed out a breath of air before running his fingers through his short black hair. "Yeah, I know."

"And I'm sorry again for what Zacky did to you, I promise it won't happen again." Valary said as she pulled me to a hug.

"Oh no its alright."

"No, its not. He should never even have done that. God, I just want to bash his brains out. Ugh!"

"Well come on, lets just go. We have a show tomorrow. No use worrying about all of this now." Matt said.

We both nodded and we all got into the van. I'm starting to regret the choices I've made lately.