Caution: Words Haunt

I awoke to a cold beside me and found Zach up and putting on a pair of jeans over his shorts. "Morning Sunshine," he joked as I stirred. I nodded.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Five forty-five." He said. I groaned. "Why are you up so early?" I asked.

"Because after all the fuckin munchies from yesterday, there's nothing left in the kitchen, so we're gonna go out."

"Where?" I asked.

"I think Maccadillios is cheaper than Jack in the Box, so I guess there." He said. I nodded once more. Man, we pigged out after the movie last night. I guess that's another draw back of this addiction. Maybe we should have just stopped after we got home. Damn, but we both wanted it so bad. Or maybe I wanted it so bad and he just did it because he couldn't resist. At what point does a want become a need?

I ponderred this as I got up from his warm blankets and went to the living room to put on my clothes. "Dude, my pants ripped!" I exclaimed, picking them up from the living room floor.

"Uh, I think we're still the same size. Here, just borrow some of my shit." he said and brought me a pair of jeans and a shirt. "Thanks bro." I said. I loved borrowing Zach's clothes. That little tranni in me can't resist looking and smelling like a boy. It makes me feel normal when I dress the way I feel on the inside.

We grabbed our school shit and began to walk over to the Mc Donalds a few blocks away. I loved walking in the morning- no one was driving like a retard, there was no one else walking except a few people who were going to work or out of work. Yup, today was starting out as a great day.

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Today's a shitty day! I ran as fast as I could down the street, taking every shortcut I had ever come across in the past and dodging at least a dozen cars as I raced down the street. I had recieved a text message in my seventh period from my dad. Evidentally he was pissed that I had been out last night (god damn dependant brat! He doesn't love me but he can't live without me? How stupid!) and texted me to be home by three or else. Considering the fact that school got out at two forty-five, this was the stupidest time ever!

I felt my phone fall out of my pocket, but I couldn't stop to grab it. Hell, it was probably already three. But I was so close to home... Maybe I'd still beat him there? Maybe God was on my side?

Last time my dad said "or else," we both ended up pretty banged up. I couldn't risk him getting pissed like that again! I have so much shit going on in my mind right now! Damn, had I just left seventh peroid to "go to the bathroom"... but it would be unfair to make Zach lie to my teacher just to pick up my backpack again. I hate putting him on the spot to lie like that. Not to mention that two trip-slips in a row would be a little suspicious looking.

I finally reached my appartment. What's faster- fire escape or taking my chances with the elevator inside? Since I was already around the back, I took the fire escape and raced up to my appartment. I walked in and threw my stuff on the floor immediatly. Shit. Did I beat him?

I looked at the time on the microwave. 2:59. Wow, since when am I so perfect?! I waited in the same spot without moving for a few moments. Where was he? I walked cautiously to his room, careful not to step on so much as a piece of paper. I inched his door open to see he wasn't there. I continued down the hall- was he in the bathroom? I glanced at my door and saw a post-it on it.

Dear Bitch-
You gonna leave me alone to rot? Fine, I'll do the same! I'll be back tomorrow. I gotta do some legal shit right now. From now on, you be home at this time, EVERYDAY!

What the fuck! I race home, risking my life, for him to not even be here?! I miss out on hanging out with Hannah for nothing? I lose my phone for NOTHING?! No way, that's not how this works! I stomped to the living room. "This is what happens when I'm home loser!" I screamed as I threw a lamp onto the floor. I flipped the chairs over and threw all of the cushions off the couch. Everything but the tv was out of place by the time I was finished. I did the same to his bedroom, but suddenly, I felt exaustion enter me.

I stormed to the bathroom as I felt a splitting pain in my head. I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the advil. The bottle was about half full. I popped the top off and poured out a handfull, shoved it into my mouth, and swallowed. They slid down my throat dryly. I continued to do so until the bottle was empty, and by that time, I couldn't see and felt my legs give way to the cold tile.