Caution: Words Haunt
Hold Me A Second
"I thought you loved me!"
"I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to mean anything!"
"I need you to love me, though! I need to know I wasn't being used!"
"You weren't. I thought I loved you!"
"Then why'd you change your mind." Tears ran down both our faces. Suddenly I saw it: the barrel of a pistol staring at me. Two shots fired. We were both supposed to die...
I awoke in a cold sweat. I wiped my eyes. The couch was warm but still I was freezing. I had plenty of blankets, but something was missing.
I walked down the familiar hallway of Zach's inviting house and stepped into his room.
"Zach?" I shook him awake.
"The sleeping pills are in my boxer drawer, if you wanna borrow shorts they're in the second drawer, if you need a blanket take my mom's cuz she won't miss it. See you in a couple hours." he said with his eyes still closed and he rolled over.
"Hey! No, I need to talk." I said, slightly dissappointed that he was so good at brushing people away from him.
He sat up in his bed and looked at me. "Can I help you? Wait, don't answer that. What time is it?" I looked at my phone.
"Uh, 2:17" I replied. He glared at me.
"Speak." He said and leaned against his headboard with his arms folded over his chest.
"My demons are coming back to haunt me. I need a hug." I said, sounding like a little kid.
"You know, of all people wanting love, this is entirely unexpected." he said honestly. "I mean, your the type of person who would rip apart a teddy bear and hide drugs from your dad in it, or like, hide a knife to use against your dad in it. What's wrong?" he asked.
I told him about my nightmare. I told him all about how I shouldn't be here; if Jack had been a little less drunk, he could've aimed well enough to hit me too and not miss by a few inches. Zach scooted over in his bed. He lifted the covers and beconned me in.
"You do need a hug." he said, "but I'm too tired to stand. Just chill with me tonight, ok?" he said.
"Do we have to go to school tomorrow? I'd be happier if we could just, you know, hang out again." I said.
"Don't worry Jude. A few more weeks and it'll be Christmas vacation. I'm not gonna let you miss school, though."
"I thought I was the voice of reason in our relationship." I said.
"Not anymore." He said. He snuggled his head into my hair and held me in his arms. I never liked being held, but for some reason, I liked this feeling. His strong arms were warm against my t-shirt. His blankets were inviting against my cold. I liked this feeling. But only four more hours until it was ruined.
I stared at the clock as minutes passed. Finally, I drifted into a warm sleep. No death, no drugs, no pain in it. Just simple sleep.
"I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to mean anything!"
"I need you to love me, though! I need to know I wasn't being used!"
"You weren't. I thought I loved you!"
"Then why'd you change your mind." Tears ran down both our faces. Suddenly I saw it: the barrel of a pistol staring at me. Two shots fired. We were both supposed to die...
I awoke in a cold sweat. I wiped my eyes. The couch was warm but still I was freezing. I had plenty of blankets, but something was missing.
I walked down the familiar hallway of Zach's inviting house and stepped into his room.
"Zach?" I shook him awake.
"The sleeping pills are in my boxer drawer, if you wanna borrow shorts they're in the second drawer, if you need a blanket take my mom's cuz she won't miss it. See you in a couple hours." he said with his eyes still closed and he rolled over.
"Hey! No, I need to talk." I said, slightly dissappointed that he was so good at brushing people away from him.
He sat up in his bed and looked at me. "Can I help you? Wait, don't answer that. What time is it?" I looked at my phone.
"Uh, 2:17" I replied. He glared at me.
"Speak." He said and leaned against his headboard with his arms folded over his chest.
"My demons are coming back to haunt me. I need a hug." I said, sounding like a little kid.
"You know, of all people wanting love, this is entirely unexpected." he said honestly. "I mean, your the type of person who would rip apart a teddy bear and hide drugs from your dad in it, or like, hide a knife to use against your dad in it. What's wrong?" he asked.
I told him about my nightmare. I told him all about how I shouldn't be here; if Jack had been a little less drunk, he could've aimed well enough to hit me too and not miss by a few inches. Zach scooted over in his bed. He lifted the covers and beconned me in.
"You do need a hug." he said, "but I'm too tired to stand. Just chill with me tonight, ok?" he said.
"Do we have to go to school tomorrow? I'd be happier if we could just, you know, hang out again." I said.
"Don't worry Jude. A few more weeks and it'll be Christmas vacation. I'm not gonna let you miss school, though."
"I thought I was the voice of reason in our relationship." I said.
"Not anymore." He said. He snuggled his head into my hair and held me in his arms. I never liked being held, but for some reason, I liked this feeling. His strong arms were warm against my t-shirt. His blankets were inviting against my cold. I liked this feeling. But only four more hours until it was ruined.
I stared at the clock as minutes passed. Finally, I drifted into a warm sleep. No death, no drugs, no pain in it. Just simple sleep.