Suzie Q's Heartbreak Service

As I opened the door, I heard some clattering. Curiously I stepped inside and closed the door. Who was it? Was mum up again? Silently I walked towards the noise. Through the hallway to the livingroom and towards the kitchen. On the way I picked up a candleholder and got a good grip of it. If this was someone I did not want in this house I had to have something to protect myself. My footsteps brought me towards the kitchen door. My heart was pumping as hell. Softly I pushed the door open and lifted the hand that was still holding the candle-bracket.

The clattering continued as I walked into the room. Someone was bend over at the kitchen sink. The person was searching for something. Opening cabinets and going through our stuff. I crept closer and wanted to hit. Just before I did, I reckonized the greyblondisch hair. The candleholder fell on the floor because relief was letting it go. This was no burgelar, this was my mum. The sound of the falling metal shook my mum and she jumped up. Her ice blue eyes were bloodshot. Inside I sighed. Here we go again I thought.

“Hannah! Don’t scare me like that!” She yelled in my face. This must be a good day, she actuallty remembered my name. She reckognized me, that must count for something. I was getting mad. This was just not my day. I was still concerned about the boy next door, like I didn’t have enough worries already and now my mum was up. Just what I needed. Sometimes I was lucky and she would sleep almost the whole day, but not this day.

“I scared you? I SCARED YOU?! I am the one worrying about you all the time!” I knew I wasn’t supposed to do this. I knew it would only get me into more trouble, but today I couldn’t hold my calm. I couldn’t agree and do as she said.

“Do not give me an attitude young lady! I can perfectly take care of myself” My mum snapped at me. She might had used the correct words, she still spoke them with a double tongue. She turned her head and went on searching.

“What are you looking for? More liquor?” It was bitchy. It was like people expected from me. But I wasn’t like that at home. At home I was the caring one. I cared for my mother because that was my responsibillity. I knew it was coming. I wasn’t even turning away anymore. I had felt this so many times that I was getting used to it. Don’t get me wrong. It still hurts, every single time.

The smack found my face and left my cheek burning. My fingers grabbed the spot and started caressing it. Anger took me. Let her search for it. Let her even find it. I didn’t care anymore. If she wanted to ruin our lives, she should just go on like she was doing. Why was I the one to help her? I couldn’t. She still was my mother. All I could do is get her into bed every evening. All I could do is clean up the puke and wash her face. And all I could get was violence instead of gratitude. I turned on my heels and ran upstairs. I didn’t need her!

As I ran inside my room I and slammed my door shut. I needed something to smack. I might not hit my mum, that didn’t mean I didn’t want to. I walked up to the wall and slammed my fist into it. I once bruised my fist doing this. There was also a spot that was slightly busted from all the times I got mad. Panting and shaking I stood there. You might understand now that my life is far from perfect. I might be a bitch but I don’t have it all.

I sighed and walked towards my window to close the curtains. As I grabbed them to slit them shut I saw to eyes focussed on me. Staring at me, was the boy next door. He was also standing at his window trying to shut the curtains. But something told me he had been standing there for a while. He had been watching me. I threw him a mad look and he just smiled at me. He lifted his eyebrows to imply something I didn’t understand.

This boy was really getting on my nerves. I wanted to take those curtains and smother him in them. I wanted to smack his forehead into the window and throw him two storeys down. I fiercely pulled the curtains closed and let myself fall on my bed. I had no strenght to plan a heartbreak anymore. That would be postponed until tomorrow. I laid down my head and closed my eyes. All I wanted was some peace. And I didn’t get it.

I was just relaxing when the silence was brutally broken by my phone ringing. Irritated I picked it up.

“Yeah?” I said uninterested.

“You have some force in that little body of yours,” I heard a voice say. No way.. It was him again. How did he get this number, we were not in the yellow pages.

“How did your pathetic ass, get this number?” I snapped at him. This boy was driving me crazy and not in a good way. You must think I’m a non or something. Because I said I don’t do love. Well that was true, I don’t do love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t do boys. I sometimes have used myself to break up a couple. I mean, I’m good looking if I say so myself, Boys really don’t mind. It was a win-win situation. Well for me that is. I got my lust and I got a couple apart.

“It is not that hard, but you must now, you are the queen of the web, aren’t you?” I started to hate his voice, his smile, just his excistence.

“You don’t know me, so stop pretending you do,” I hung up and laid my head down again. The phone rang. It must be him. I took the phone and walked up to the window. His curtains still weren’t closed. He was still standing there. I took the phone, showed it to him and let then smashed it against the wall just as I had done with my fist. Maybe this will make him understand. I closed my curtains again and laid down on my bed. Peace all I wanted was some peace.

So I got my peace. A whole five minutes of it. Then the doorbell rang. Tired and annoyed I walked down. I knew my mum wasn’t going to answer. I yanked the door open and there he was. Couldn’t he just leave me alone? His perfect face was smiling at me. His perfect body was standing in front of me. Why did he had to be that perfect, it made me hate him even more.

“How am I getting rid of you? I’d hate to dig a whole in the back yard for your body. But I’m almost willing to do it just for you,”