Forget the Things We Swore We Meant

"It's going to be fine," I said, reassuring Brendon for the millionth time. I gave his hand, which was in mine, a light squeeze. We were still in our room, getting ready to go meet up with Jon and Spencer. "Let's go."

We left our room, walking slowly to the bus. We were going back on the road, so hopefully this went over well. Brendon let go of my hand as we reached the hall. We walked side by side to the elevator and I pushed the down button. I could tell Brendon was nervous as we waited for the elevator. He kept fidgeting.

I grabbed a hold of Brendon's hand again as we entered the elevator. He jumped a little with surprise and glanced at me. I gave him a reassuring smile.

"It's going to be fine," I said again. Brendon just nodded his head. Brendon let go of my hand again as the elevator reached the main floor. We stepped out into the lobby and left the hotel. The bus was right outside the doors.

I looked at Brendon. He looked like he was going to be sick. I didn't realize how nervous he was about this. Now I was getting worried. We were at the doors of the bus now. I took a deep breath before stepping onto the bus. Brendon got on behind me.

"Hey," I said when I saw Jon and Spencer sitting on the couch in the small living/kitchen area of the bus.

"Hey," they both said. They looked behind me.

"Hey Brendon," said Jon. They both looked concerned. "You ok?"

Brendon didn't say anything and I assumed he had just nodded his head. Brendon and I sat at the kitchen table, on opposite sides. Brendon looked me in the eyes. I could see fear there. I tried telling him it would be ok through my eyes. I'm not sure if he got the message. I looked over at Jon and Spencer who were talking.

"Hey guys," I said. They quieted and looked at me. "We need to talk to you."

"What about?" Spencer said.

"Well, this isn't exactly easy for us to say," I said. "But, Brendon and I...we're sort of together."

I looked at Brendon. He looked deathly pale and like he was about to throw up.

Jon and Spencer didn't say anything. I looked at them, waiting for them to say something.

"Could you guys say something?" I asked. "Brendon isn't exactly doing well with this."

"So," said Jon. "You guys are, like, a couple?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Oh," said Jon.

"Is that ok?" I asked. I didn't like his answer.

"Yeah," Jon said. He said that too quick. "It's fine."

I don't believe that.

"Ok," I said. They don't like this. They're against it. I can tell. "Great."

I looked at Brendon. I frowned. I could see in his eyes that he also knew they were lying. I didn't know what to do or say. Brendon looked away from me, and looked out the window. I looked at the table. I didn't like this feeling that was consuming me now. I didn't know what it was, but I didn't like it.