Forget the Things We Swore We Meant

Jon's P.O.V.

"Hey Ryan," I called, walking towards Ryan's bunk. I wanted to work on one of our songs with him. I got to his bunk and pulled the curtain back. The bed was empty.

I let go of the curtain and went to Brendon's bunk.

"Brendon?" I said.

"Yeah," Brendon said from behind his curtain.

"Have you seen Ryan?" I asked.

"No," he said. I sighed.

"Ok," I said. He must have gotten off the bus without any of us knowing, which was odd. Our bus had stopped a few hours ago. We were currently parked in a parking lot somewhere. We had a show tonight. I took a deep breath. He had to come back for that. There was still a few hours until soundcheck. I paced around the front of the bus before sitting down.

"You ok Jon?" I heard Spencer ask. I looked in his direction quickly.

"Yeah," I said quickly.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said again. "I'm fine."

He just nodded his head and went back into the bunks. I looked at the clock. A few minutes had gone by already. Where the fuck was Ryan?

"Jon?"

"What?" I asked in a louder, angrier voice than I had meant. I looked at a startled Brendon. "Sorry."

"It's ok," Brendon said. He sat next to me. "Spencer just told me you were acting wierd. Are you ok?"

"Yeah," I said. "Just worried."

"About what?" he asked.

"Ryan's gone," I said. "He's not on the bus, and I just have this bad feeling about it."

"Oh," Brendon said. I looked at him for a moment. Something was different.

"Did something happen between you two?" I asked. Brendon looked down.

"I sort of ended things with him," he said quietly.

"Why?" I asked.

"It just wasn't working out," Brendon said. "Plus it was obvious you and Spencer were uncomfortable with the whole thing."

I didn't bother trying to deny that. I had been a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing. But to be honest, I had been getting used to it.

"Shit," I heard Brendon muttered. I looked at him. His elbows were resting on his thighs and he had his head in his hands. "I hope he's ok. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid. Shit. This is all my fault."

I was surprised to see Brendon's shoulder's shaking. I guess I hadn't thought about the fact that Ryan and Brendon actually loved each other. They were in love. What right did I have to ever question that?

I rested my hand on Brendon's shoulder.

"It's gonna be ok," I said. "I'm sure Ryan will be fine."