Forget the Things We Swore We Meant

Brendon's P.O.V.

We had arrived at sound check about 20 minutes ago, but still no sign of Ryan. I was really nervous. This was probably because of me. I could see that Jon and Spencer were worried too. This had never happened before and we didn't know what to do if Ryan didn't show up. I don't think we have anyone who can fill in, at least, not now, at the last minute.

"Maybe we should just cancel the show," I heard Spencer saying.

"We can't now," Jon said. "There are probably already a lot of fans standing in line already."

"Well what else can we do?" Spencer said. I heard a sigh. Probably Jon.

"I don't know," he said. "You have any ideas Brendon?"

I turend around to look at them, both of them staring back at me.

"No," I said quietly.

No one said anything else. We returned to nervous silence. I kept my eyes locked on the clock, watching the minutes tick by slowly. We had 10 minutes until we were supposed to be on stage.

Ryan’s P.O.V.

I could tell by their glances at the clock they were getting nervous. I glanced at the clock too. There was 10 minutes until the show started. I couldn’t hide forever. I came out of my hiding spot so they could now easily see me if they looked in my direction.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” I said quietly. They all jumped at the same to look at me.

“What the fuck, Ryan?” Spencer said. “Where have you been? You completely missed sound check!”

“I know,” Ryan said. “And I’m sorry.”

“Well, get ready,” said Jon. “We have to be out there in 5 minutes.”

I just nodded my head and stood at the edge of the curtains, where no one could see me. I could hear the screams of all of the fans. I looked over and was a little surprised to find Brendon standing next to me. He was looking straight ahead at the stage.

“Are you ok?” Brendon asked.

“I will be,” I answered quietly.

“Time to go out!” Jon yelled. I looked at Brendon before walking out onto stage, my ears greeted by even louder screaming. I went over to my guitar, picking it up. I started playing the song we were starting with. ‘Do you know what I’m seeing?’ I watched as Brendon started singing. I didn’t feel like I was actually here. It felt like an out of body experience.

I didn’t even realize it, but Brendon was moving closer. Still singing:

“I know it's mad, but if I go to hell
Will you come with me or just leave?
I know it's mad, but if the world were ending
Would you kiss me or just leave me?
Just leave me?”

Brendon lowered his mic, leaning forward and kissing me. The screaming, though I’m sure it had increased in volume, seemed to stop. But the sound came screeching back into my ears, as Brendon pulled away to continue the song. He smiled at me. And I knew. That this was as far as our relationship could go. We would never be anything more. Brendon did love me. I definitely still loved him. But there was nothing we could do about it. It just wasn’t meant to be. There would always be something to tear us apart.