Forget the Things We Swore We Meant

"I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Last night."

"Did you have a problem with last night?"

"No."

"Then what's to talk---"

"Yes, I did have a problem with it actually."

That conversation was only occuring in my head. I couldn't bring myself to confront Brendon. We were back on our tour bus, Brendon was sitting on the one end of the couch. I was on the other end and Jon was between us. Spencer was occupying the bathroom. I kept glancing at Brendon, who was paying attention to whatever movie we were watching. I finally couldn't take sitting there any more and told them I was going to go lay down. I went to the back of the bus and layed down in my bunk, pulling the curtain shut.

I closed my eyes, but immediately opened them when I heard footsteps. I stayed quiet, not bothering to check to see who it was. I moved till my back was touching the wall of the bus as the curtain blocking my bunk from view moved aside and Brendon climbed in. He moved closer to me and kissed me gently. He pulled away before going to kiss me again. I stopped him.

"Please don't do this Brendon," I whispered.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because," I said. "You're making things worse. You're hurting me."

"I'm sorry," Brendon said, reaching up to stroke my face. "I told you I loved you though."

"You also told me we couldn't do this anymore," I said. "That this wouldn't work."

Brendon's hand left my face.

"It won't work," he said.

"Then please, just leave me alone," I said.

"But--,"

"No," I said. "I don't want to just be someone you can hook up with."

Brendon nodded his head and looked away. He climbed out of my bunk.

"I'm sorry," he said, before closing the curtain.