Forget the Things We Swore We Meant

"Ryan?" Brendon's muffled voice sounded through my hotel room door. I heard light knocking. "Please let me in. I need to talk to you."

I got off my bed and made my way to the door. I opened it slowly.

"Can I come in?" Brendon asked. I let Brendon in and he closed the door. I walked back to my bed and sat down. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's ok," I said quietly.

"No it's not," Brendon said. "I'm suck a fucking heartless, selfish bastard. I know what I do hurts you, but I do it anyways."

"It's not your fault," I said. "I know you're going to end up hurting me, but I still go back to you."

"I guess it's both of our faults that you end up getting hurt," Brendon said.

"This doesn't hurt you?" I asked, a surge of anger going through me. Did he care about any of this?

"It does hurt me," Brendon said. "It kills me that I hurt you. I told you I love you."

Brendon sat down next to me. I looked down at my lap, my hands were resting on my thighs. Brendon's hand came into my view and took a hold on my hand that was closest to him. I looked at him.

"I've been thinking about this since you left this morning," said Brendon. "And I want to give this relationship a shot."

"Really?" I asked. Brendon nodded his head.

"But," he said. "I want to keep quiet about it till we're both ready to tell Jon and Spencer."

"Of course," I said, smiling. Happiness was flowing through me. I could feel the broken pieces of my heart pulling together. Brendon smiled at me before leaning in and kissing me. This kiss was different though. It meant more than all the others. The fact that we were together now changed the meaning of everything we did together.