Love Me Patiently, Love Me Honestly

The next week went by fast. I slept a lot of the time, and when I wasn’t sleeping I was with the boys. Now it was Monday, the first day of my senior year. I was so excited. I couldn’t wait for school to be over. I was supposed to go pick up Pat and Garrett from Garrett’s house, so we could all walk into school together. Pat said it’d be one of those experiences we’d remember for the rest of our lives, I hoped he was right, because waking up a half hour earlier was sucking. I was having trouble deciding what to wear. I wanted to look good, but not overdone. After 10 minutes I finally decided on a pretty blue shirt, a pair of skinny jeans, and silver flats. I lightly put on some makeup and packed my backpack. I made my way downstairs, and found my mom cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

“Hey mom, you’re making breakfast for me?” I said, unbelieving.

“Don’t I always on your first day of school?” she said, almost catatonic.

“Um, yeah, I guess.” I said and left it at that. She never made breakfast on the first day of school. She never made breakfast, period.

I ate while my mom read the paper and drank coffee. When I was done I got up and washed my plate, before I walked out of the kitchen I turned to my mom.

“Thanks for breakfast, mom.”

“You’re welcome.” She replied, not looking up. “Have fun at school.”

See you.” I replied and walked out. I got to Garrett’s house in 10 minutes and honked the horn. The unexpected breakfast put me off schedule. We know had 5 minutes to get to school. Garrett lived 10 minutes away. They ran out and jumped in the car.

“I swear Maddie, you better not make me late on the first day!” I’ll kill you.” Garrett said.

Chill, we’ll get there.” I replied as I sped through traffic. We ended up getting to school with 2 minutes to spare. I only drive illegally when I have to.

All of us had the same 1st period. I had 2nd with Pat. 3rd alone. 4th with Garrett. And 5th with both of them. Then we didn’t have any other classes after that and we’re free to go home. 1st period was boring. I was half asleep and all we had to do was sign our name on a sheet and sign out books. This is what the whole day would be like.

Second period was boring, also. But Pat’s life long crush was in the class, so I got him to talk to her. Her name was Lacy. She had bleach blond hair and was smaller than Pat. They talked and flirted, and I was happy for him. Even though it meant I’d be alone this hour. Once the bell rang I parted ways with Pat and made my way to 3rd period. AP Calculus. The one class I was sincerely dreading. I was more of an English fan. I could write my thoughts on paper wonderfully. But formulas and theorems never stuck with me. I walked into the classroom and found Kennedy, separating papers in the back of the room.

“Kennedy?” I said, walking up to him.

“Oh, hey Maddie.” He said awkwardly.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m doing some student aide for Mr. Watts. It’s a paid position, and I just need a little money right now. So I figured, why not?" he said casually.

“Well, that’s cool.” I said, and just then the bell rang and the teacher started telling us our assigned seats. I was sat in the back corner, right next to where Kennedy’s work station is. He laughed as I sat down.

“Awesome, you can feed me answers back here.” I smiled.

“For sure. I got an A in this class last year.” He gloated.

“Well then, thank God.” I said and we started talking. He pretended to be doing something, but eventually he just kept stacking and restacking the same papers. I realized I didn’t know anyone in this class and was glad I had Kennedy.

I had a good time talking to Kennedy. I hadn't expected to even talkt o him when I returned. When the bell rang I said goodbye and walked to my 4th period. Garrett was already there and had the seat next to him saved.

“Guess who is student aide in my 3rd hour!?” I said.

He stared at me blankly.

“Kennedy! Isn’t that so weird!?”

Yeah! And awkward! How’d you deal?” he asked.

“Fine! We talked the whole time and it was actually fun.” I told him honestly.

“Good, good. Are you still in love with him?” he asked. I rolled my eyes at his forwardness.

“Wow, thanks for bringing that up buddy.” I replied and looked away.

“Well..?” he prodded.

“I don’t knoww! It’s been a year since I’ve seen him.”

“I think you should just forget about him. You, know...maybe go for me.” Garrett said and wiggled his eyebrows, scooting his desk closer to mine.

“I’m not dating you again unless I get dared again.”

“You’re so mean.” Garrett said and turned around to talk to someone. I started to think back to a year ago. I finally got the nerve to tell Kennedy how I feel. I walked over to his house and we sat in his bedroom.

“Kennedy? I have to tell you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I..I think I’m in love with you.” I stuttered after a long pause.

He looked down immediately. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I was scared. “Um, Maddie, that’s flattering and everything, but I just…I...I don’t feel the same about you.”

“Oh, I see. I’m too much like a sister?” I said quickly, hoping that was the answer, and not what he would say next.

“No, no, it’s not that. I’m...I love someone else.” He told me. I looked up at him and my eyes filled with tears. I ran out of his bedroom and he chased after me. Before I got to the front door he grabbed my shoulders and turned me around.

“Maddie, I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t hate me.” he pleaded.

"I get it Kennedy, it’s fine. I have to go now. I need to finish packing.” I said and shrugged out of his grip. I opened the door, walked out, and before I shut it, I turned to face him. “Goodbye Kennedy.”

The next day I went to the airport, with my parents, John, Jared, Garrett, Pat, and Carly. No Kennedy, and I was glad. Carly looked really out of it, and I didn’t have the chance to ask her what was wrong. I said goodbye to each one, and when I got to Carly, I hugged her and she whispered in my ear, “I’m so sorry about Kennedy, I’m so, so sorry.” I didn’t understand why she cared so much, she told me when I was 13 I was never allowed to date any of her friends. I figured she’d be pissed about Kennedy.

My day dream was interrupted with the teacher calling my name to go and sign in. Once the bell rang we met up with Pat in 5th period. It was just as boring as the rest of the day, and when it was over we all went to my car. There was a crowd of about 5 girls around it, and I didn’t even have to guess why.

I saw a head of shaggy brown hair in the center. This is what every day of my Sophomore year was like. John drove me home every day, and every day I had to wait however long it took for him to talk to his admirers.

John was a major ladies man. Not a player, though. Girls just flocked to him, but he hardly dated, I don’t even think he had casual hook-ups. I only remember one serious girlfriend when he was a Junior, they were still together when I left, but he told me they broke up soon after. Anyways, the point, John was a good guy, that’s why so many girls liked him…And that he was extremely hot.

I cleared my throat. John heard and pushed through the crowd to reach me.

“Hey kid.” He smiled and hugged me then turned back to the girls. “Sorry ladies, this is my ride. Gotta go.” They all walked away.

“John, why are you here? You graduated.” I said, annoyed.

“I just missed this place! And the girls.” He said, looking back to the girls walking away, turning his head sideways. I elbowed him in the stomach. “And to come tell you that you need to go to the doctor! Your dad called me today and asked me to take you. The school called and said if you don’t get checked up on you aren’t allowed to be back at school. Something about diseases from a foreign country.”

“Fine, when is my appointment?” I asked.

“In 20 minutes. So, sorry guys, she won’t be able to take you home.” he said to Pat and Garrett.

“Sorry guys.” I said, feeling bad they’d have to walk.

Don’t sweat it, see you later!” Pat said and pulled Garrett off. I could hear Garrett grumbling, saying something about walking home as seniors. I laughed. John and I got in the car and we were silent as I started off down the street.

“So, did you see Kennedy today?” John asked.

“You knew he was working at the school?” I asked, surprised.

Yep. He’s in your 3rd period right?” He said, tapping his fingers on his thigh along with the song that was playing over the car stereo.

“Yeah, why didn’t you tell me?”

"Sorry.” He said. “Did you talk to him?”

“Yes, the whole period, actually, it was fun. It was like how we used to be.” I smiled to myself.

“That’s good baby!” John said excitedly, but his face said otherwise.

“What?’ I asked.

“It’s just.. I don’t want you getting hurt again.”

“John, I’ll be fine. We were only talking, and if I do start to like him, I’ll make sure he likes me too before anything happens.” I reassured him.

“Okayyy.” John said skeptically as I pulled into the family doctor’s parking lot. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, you’re probably going to have to get shots.”

I glared at him. “No.” I said.

“You have to Maddie. It’ll be fine okay, come on.” He said, getting out of the car and shutting the door. I locked it after him and crossed my arms over my chest. He came around to my side and bent down to the window. “Maddieeee.” He put his hand on the window.

“I’m not going in there John! I hate shots! I hate them!” You know how much too! I won’t do it!”

“Baby, you won’t be able to go back to school.”

“I don’t care. Do you remember when I was 9 and I bit the nurse? Then when I was 14 I just kicked her! Now I’m 17, and have a few self-defense classes under my belt, I might kill her!” I said, hating that all this was true. I was so scared of needles. They hurt really bad and I just couldn’t explain why I was so scared. Always have been.

“Maddie, I swear I will hold you down, and I’ll be right there with you the whole time.” I looked at John and he was completely serious. I trusted him. I opened the car door and got out. He grabbed my hand and held it as we walked in. I filled out some paperwork and was called in 5 minutes later. The nurse did the normal stuff, blood pressure, height, weight, then she asked me questions about England. She asked if I did drugs or had sex over there. I told her no and John smiled proudly and gave me a thumbs up. He was so cute sometimes.

She then went over to a drawer and pulled out 4 needles. I shivered. She came back in a few minutes later with 3 of them filled with some kind of liquid, the other one empty.

“Okay, first we have to draw some blood.” She said and wrapped an elastic band above my elbow. She asked me if I was ready and I said no. John grabbed my hand. “Just look right at me and squeeze it as hard as you want.” She laughed and stuck me in the arm. I cringed but didn’t scream. I stared at John as she took my blood and he stared back at me. I studied his features. He had gorgeous eyes and nice hair. His nose wasn’t too big or small, and everything on his face just fit really well together.

I felt it when the nurse pulled the needle out my arm. I looked to the side and saw she had 3 vials of my blood. Ew. I didn’t let go of John’s hand as she took the blood to another room. I didn’t look away from his face either.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Ehh.” I shrugged. He laughed lightly.

John

The nurse came back in with a cup of orange juice and handed it to Maddie. Then she told her the name of the 3 shots she was getting. I didn’t pay attention. I was staring at Maddie’s face. She had very pretty green eyes and a cute nose. Her hair was the same perfect mix of blond and brown it was when I met her 8 years ago. Everything on her face fit there just fine. And they say no one’s perfect, pfft. The nurse counted to 3 before she did the first one. Maddie closed her eyes and squeezed my hand hard. She screamed when the nurse pricked her with it and it made my heart hurt. Poor girl. I gripped her hand with both of mine.

“Hey, hey. Look at me on this next one, okay?” I told her.

She nodded and the nurse counted to 3 again. When she stuck her with the needle I crunched my face into a weird position and it must have been funny because Maddie laughed out loud. I smiled. She counted to 3 once more and I did an even more dramatic face this time and made a funny sound. Maddie laughed again. “Look at you, you didn’t even squeeze my hand that time!” I told her. She smiled triumphantly.

“Good job, dear. We’re all done here. Give this paper to your school and you shouldn’t have any problems.” She walked out.

Maddie was just so adorable. She was so proud of herself for making it through those shots. I decided to take her to lunch.

“John! I did it! Aren’t you proud!? She said, for the third time.

“So proud, baby.” I smiled. So cute. We talked for a while and she told me everything about England. We mostly talked about her writing program. Then, I remembered when she wrote her first story, she was 10.

“Hey, remember your first story? About the boy and girl who loved each other but couldn’t be together because the boy was the girl’s sister’s best friend? And then at the end they got together?” I grinned.

“Oh my god! So what!? I was in love with you when I was 10! I had dreams about us, John. And that’s what writer’s do, they write what they dream!” She turned really red, folded her arms, and shrunk in her chair.

“Then you gave it to meee.” I smiled.

“Yeah, then you showed all your friends and I got made fun of for forever!”

“I was an 11 year old boy! It was funny then! I had to show everyone!” I laughed.

Whatever, you jerk!” She said. She tried to have a seriously mad face on, but started laughing after a few seconds.

“Awh, you could never stay mad at me.” I smiled my signature grin.

“Unfortunately.” She smiled. I started to think of the real reason I showed everyone that story. Well, it was because I was an 11 year old boy, but I was an 11 year old who didn’t want his friends to know I liked a girl. And if they read it, they’d tease me forever. So I laughed it off and made it a big joke. But I loved that story and I still read it every once in a while, still hoping that maybe, possibly, there was some truth left in it.