Love Me Patiently, Love Me Honestly

“I heard you hung out with Kennedy this week?” John asked me out of the blue. It was Sunday morning and he and I were at iHop. A tradition we’ve kept up for 5 years.

“Uh, yeah. He’s helping me with Calculus. I’m dying in that class. He’s been over every day because I suck so bad.”

“So…is that all you guys do? Study?” John questioned.

“He took me to an early dinner on Tuesday…?” I said, wondering where allt hese questions were coming from.

“Like a date?” He spat.

“John, where is all this coming from?” I asked, baffled by his tone.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…I don’t want you getting hurt again.”

“I really wish you would just calm down about this. It’s not like I’m talking to a guy you don’t know. I thought Kennedy was your best friend? Shouldn’t you know he’s an okay guy?”

“Me and Kennedy are best friends, but that doesn’t mean he’s the best guy. You should know that Maddie.” John said.

“Just because he was in love with someone else doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy!” I defended. Saying it out loud hurt more that I thought.

“What if he was lying about that!?” John said loudly.

I stopped. “What?”

“Nothing. Never mind.” He said, looking down at his food.

“If you have something to say then you should just say it.”

“I was just saying Maddie, I don’t know if he was or not. But I’m just asking you to be really careful.”

“And I’m asking you to not worry about it.”

“I will though.”

We were silent for a long time. Very awkward. I felt bad John was getting so worked up over Kennedy. I didn’t agree with him on this subject but I didn’t want him to be mad.

“You’re not eating.” I stated, noticing John’s full plate. Please let this break this silence.

“Neither are you.”

“But you need to eat! John, you’re too small!”

“Look who’s talking. Miss ‘I’ve stayed the same weight since I was 9!’” he mocked in a girly voice.

“Oh shut up. John! We should got to the gym! We could get buff!”

“I…I don’t want to be buff. The girls like my body how it is now. Why change?” he smiled.

“Please? I’ve always wanted to go. So I can be like ‘yeah, I go to the gym.’” I said, in a manly tone.

“Fine, once. We can get in on my dad’s membership. Next weekend sound good?”

“Yep!” I smiled.

*

“Oh my gosh! Worst decision of my life! Why did you make me go Maddie!?” John wined as we laid on my bed. He was icing his thighs, and toe. I kind of, might have…accidentally dropped a 25 pound weight on it. Well, threw it.

I was icing my arms and my head. John had a little mishap with one of the arm machines, let go too soon, since I’m standing right behind it, BAM, I get knocked out.

The gym was not a successful attempt. John and I were quite a sight. John was wearing a wife beater with shorts that went to his mid thigh, with a headband. I just wore normal work out clothes, John stood out enough for the both of us. First we tried the treadmill, that went well. So did the bike. But once we hit the weights, it was a disaster. We were ‘asked to leave.’ But, one concussion and a broken toe later, we could now truthfully tell people we’ve been to the gym.

The doorbell rang.

“NOOOO!” John and I both screamed, not wanting to get up.

After a few more tries the person just walked in. They walked up the stairs and in walked Kennedy.

“Uh, hey guys.” he studied our ice packs and bruises.

“Oh, hey Kenny.” John said, hiding his ice pack.

“What happened to you Maddie!?” he asked, walking over to me and touching my head where I had a huge bruise.

“Oh, nothing. Just, had an interesting day at the gym. Anyways, what’s up?”

“Just wanted to say hey. And talk to John. Hey buddy, it’s been a while.” Kennedy said, turning his attention to John.

“I know. Hey Maddie, can I talk to Kennedy alone?” John asked.

“I’m not getting up.” I told him.

“Come on, I have the broken toe! It’s really hard to walk!”

“Fine.” I said, getting up. “I’ll go downstairs, but if you hear a big thump, it’s just me falling down them. Don’t worry about it.” I got up and walked slowly out of the room. I wondered what they had to talk about that was important for me to leave.

Kennedy

“Kennedy, you have to tell her. Soon.” John told me sternly once Maddie was down the stairs.

“I will, John. I’ve just been trying to think of how to tell her, it’s kind of a huge deal.”

“Well, you knew you’d have to. So, get on it. Because I think she’s falling in love with you, and she needs to know first before she gets too far in.”

Hearing Maddie might love me again made my heart lurch. I really hoped she did, and this time I wouldn’t screw it up. “Fine, I’ll tell her. I’ll tell her...soon.”

“Kenny, if you don’t do this, I will.” John said.

“Fine, I will, right now.” I told him and walked down stairs to find Maddie laying on the couch, curled up into a ball. “Hey Madds, how ya feeling?”

“Hurt.” She sighed.

“Do you want to come over to my house? I have someone I want you to meet.”

“Sure!.” She said and got up slowly. I got her shoes and put them on her feet, and walked her out to the car. We drove to my house in silence. When we got there it took her even longer to walk in. She greeted my parents and they talked for a little while.

“Where is Emma, mom? I asked.

She gave me a questioning look, and I replied with a nod. “Oh, well, she’s in the play room.”

“Okay, come on Maddie.” I said and grabbed her hand. She looked very confused. I rubbed her hand in comfort and she smiled at me. We walked to the play room and I took a deep breath in before I opened the door.

I went over and picked up Emma. “Maddie, this is Emma.”

“Awe! She’s so cute!” Maddie said admiring her and touching Emma’s hand. Emma smiled.

“She likes you.” I smiled and set her down. Emma immediately began playing with a toy.

“Is this your sister?” Maddie asked.

“Well, Maddie, you see..” I started but couldn’t finish. I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to 2 chairs in the corner of the room. “Emma is my…my…” I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. “My niece. Haley ended up having a baby.” I lied.

“Awe! That’s so nice! Is she with a guy, or…?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah. They are engaged.” I lied again. “She’s just about 8 months old.”

“Wow, she…doesn’t really look like Haley.” She stated, looking at Emma.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because her hair is blond, and if I remember Haley right, her hair is the same as yours, her eyes too.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, she looks like her dad.” I lied, again.

“She sure does have her eyes though. She’s beautiful. Tell Haley I say congratulations.”

“I will. Emma is around here a lot. Haley is just really busy with work and stuff, and…wedding planning. So we watch her a lot.”

“That’s nice of you.” Maddie said and crawled down and laid on the floor across from Emma. Emma handed her the toy she was playing with and Maddie smiled. Emma was fumbling around trying to switch positions. I kept an eye on her, worrying she might fall over. She was just barely learning to sit up. But then she got on her knees, and crawled right on over to Maddie. It was sloppy and she couldn’t go straight, but it was crawling. I smiled big and laid down next to Maddie. She looked at my smiling face as she picked Emma of the ground and placed her on her lap.

“What?”

“That was the first time she’s crawled. I think I’ll have to keep you around Maddie, who knows when she’ll start walking and talking with you here.” I smiled and Maddie smiled back.

We sat there playing with Emma for hours. She crawled back and forth across the room and was getting pretty good at it by the end of the day. I was having too much fun to unwrap my web of lies.

I didn’t have the guts to tell Maddie that Emma wasn’t my niece.

I didn’t have the guts to tell her that Emma was my daughter.