When Darkness Plagues Our Bond

After attending a two-day hunting trip along the small cities that littered the outskirts of Las Vegas, I returned. If I truly intended on going unnoticed here, I knew I needed to both cut down the number of humans I fed from, and start traveling outside of the city to do so. I couldn’t risk relocating, not with Brendon involved.

Being away from him for that long had left a constant uneasiness plaguing my mind. However it had also given me time to process everything that had happened recently. I had gone from being reserved to having physical content with him in a matter of a few nights.

The confidence I had had that night with Brendon in the alley way had vanished in just a mere couple of steps. Surrounded by walls, dripping with water from leaking pipes, I had allowed the frenzy of ideas, questions and worries to consume me. Every drop of water that hit the stained pavement had rung through my ears. Every step taken had felt like weights had been strapped to my legs.

Was it possible for a vampire to feel human?

He knew I existed. Although this left me elated, with hope, it instilled an amount of unsettling fear. I knew my actions were beyond irrational. That coming into that close of contact with him, speaking to him, could have severe repercussions.

Of course all vampires had to worry about exposure, and we have gone to many extents to stay hidden. Yet I knew my fear went further than being revealed. If I somehow disappointed Brendon, and he shut me out of his life forever, I would be devastated. My whole reason of existence was to please and protect him.

I was met with an odd sense of comfort as the desolation of the warehouse greeted me for the first time since I had returned. I had resided in this building longer than any other and had become used to the empty rooms, chill air, and bleak appearance. It was a relief to be home, even though the time spent away was minimal.

The echo of my feet hitting the chilled concrete floors sounded off the walls as I walked from the entrance of the warehouse to my bedroom. I was dragging out my steps, allowing time to think about everything.

Of course my heart pulled at me to leave instantly, to go see Brendon. However my mind fought the impulse down. I knew that there were many things I needed to analyze. I needed to figure out my current way of living.

I knew my life would not be much longer if I continued the way I was going. Brendon would eventually die, it was inevitable. The only way to change this was to change him.

There are many ways to go about this. I could just do it, corner him in alley or back street and do it by force. I could also start a friendship up with him, gain his trust, and eventually tell him everything hoping he would consent.

I didn’t want to harm any possible relationship with him, and it seems that that is the only result of the first option. Yet my lack of experience with relationships of any sort could seriously hinder any chance of getting him to allow me to change him.

All of these thoughts made me want to stake myself. The thought of stripping Brendon from his life was unimaginable. He wouldn’t be the same human I had grown to know. He would change, and most likely for the worse.

Could I live with the change? Would I be able to bear the difference between human and monster, aware that I was the cause?

It’s definitely at these times that I wish I had been mentored. The knowledge of an elder could be the answer to all my self-doubts. An elder wouldn’t hesitate to do what was needed to be done.

I started to picture Brendon’s life if I chose to never disturb it. He could continue with his current career, making it to the top one day. Maybe he would even pursue a career with his voice. He would meet a girl, marry her and have children. He would age, have grandchildren and retire. Then one day he would die.

I knew immediately what had to be done.

I couldn’t sit by and watch him live his life with someone else. I couldn’t just watch as he grew old, his youth being forgotten by all. I wouldn’t watch him perish.

I had to become apart of his life.