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Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

This story is based of the list and icons of Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
  1. Prologue
  2. Arrival To Hogwarts
  3. The Sorting Hat
  4. A wand is for magic only!
    A wand is for magic only, it is not for poking people, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
  5. I will stop asking when we will learn
    I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
  6. Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”
    Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.
  7. I shall not refer to Malfoy as
    I shall not refer to Malfoy as a cuddle-monkey
  8. I will not sing
    I will not sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when asked to go to the Headmaster's office.
  9. I am not allowed to harass the Gargoyle
    I am not allowed to harass the gargoyle In front of the head master’s office. If I do the consequences could be painful
  10. It is inappropriate to refer to
    It is inappropriate to refer to Crabbe and Goyle as "Dumb and Dumber."
  11. "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!"
    Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.
  12. Gryffindor Courage
    Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled “Firewhiskey”.
  13. Using the 'Petrificus Totalus' curse on Draco
    Using the 'Petrificus Totalus' curse on Draco Malfoy and dumping him in the Gryffindor common room as a Christmas present to the House means you should watch your back until June.
  14. I Will Not Yell "Believe it... Or Not!"
    I will not yell “Believe it… or not!” after any of Dumbledore’s speeches.
  15. I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff
    I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
  16. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood
    I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"
  17. If Draco Malfoy is annoying you
    If Draco Malfoy is annoying you, call him a mudblood.
  18. The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall
    The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."
  19. Calling Voldemort
    Calling Voldemort "The-Man-Who-Let-The-Boy-Live" will get you killed. I nearly died doing so.
  20. Hogwarts Here We Come
    Second Year Starts
  21. I Will Not Tell Lockheart
    I will not tell Lockheart that he is actually a dancer who stars in Swan Lake
  22. Professor Snape
    Professor Snape did not kill my father and does not deserve to die...yet.
  23. The Slytherin Quidditch Team
    The Slytherin Quidditch team should not be referred to as "Draco Malfoy and a moderate amount of cross-dressing". Even if that is an accurate description.
  24. Lucius Malfoy's Cane
    Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane'
  25. Summertime Fun
    Summer between second and third year.
  26. Robes are appropriate school wear.
    Robes are appropriate school wear. Bathrobes are not.
  27. Fun Times in Potions.
    This one isn't on the list.
  28. I will not ask if Professor Lupin
    I will not ask if Professor Lupin has had all his shots, such as rabies.
  29. Part One
    I will not use potions that act like the fortune cookies in freaky Friday.
  30. Haco and Drarry
  31. While in Care of Magical Creatures,
    While in Care of Magical Creatures, I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket"
  32. "Hug your potions master today."
    You are not required to "Hug your potions master today."
  33. the Morons, the overly brave asses, the Smartasses
    The four houses are not the Morons, the overly brave asses, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters
  34. Harry Potter's prized Firebolt
    I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.
  35. "You might be a Pureblood if..."
    "You might be a Pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.
  36. Howler telling him to use Shampoo.
    I am not allowed to send Snape a howler telling him to use Shampoo.
  37. "Beaters do it with Wood"
    "Beaters do it with Wood" is not funny, even if the only people who aren't laughing are the Weasley twins and Oliver.
  38. Moaning Myrtle
    I am not allowed to set up a first-year on a blind date with Moaning Myrtle.
  39. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not yoda.
  40. A good way to piss Hermione off:
    A good way to piss Hermione off: Write "Hermione Granger was here" on multiple library books, thereby banning her from the library
  41. Asking the Weasley Twins,
    Asking the Weasley twins, "So do you do everything together?" is ill advised.
  42. Quiddich World Cup
  43. I will not refer to Ron Weasley as "that red-heade
    I will not refer to Ron Weasley as "that red-headed twit" in polite company
  44. I am not allowed to go on the black lake while int